Ok..I have been wracking my brains over this since I started dating my current girlfriend. I am nearly 40 years old..and in all that time I thought I was only attracted to men. I would only look at men, I would only flirt with men, I never would look at a woman in any way whatsoever sexually or to see if she's nice looking, it was like some blinders were set on me. I only dated men. I had at one point tried to date a girl but I got freaked out and literally ran from her when she tried to get physically close to her...to this day, I am not sure why.

But, since being with my current girlfriend, I've started noticing other women and ...shocked myself that I found I actually like looking at them too. So, in essence I just found out recently that I am not gay but in fact bi....just never occurred to me till recently.

My question is..anyone else ever have this happen? Go almost all their life thinking they are one way sexually then all of a sudden feel like a blindfold was lifted and you find something out about yourself you never knew?

I believe that being transgendered can open up the mind's eye to different things - potential partners included.

I have read somewhere (not sure where), that taking testosterone can affect your sexuality, but don't know for sure.

I can definitely relate to facing change at the age of 40-ish. I have only just reached the realisation that I am trans...a huge jolt as I always thought I knew who and what I was and that 'things don't change'.

At first, I thought I was attracted strictly to guys.  Then I dated a girl and everything opened up.  As I grew, I learned more about what I like.  I'm only 21, but it was a shock to me to start thinking more about girls in a sexual way when I never thought about them like that before.

Growing up I was interested in both, but I guess subconsciously was responding to the pressing of people for me to like guys. I decided I didn't like men when I was 13. But now, I'm more open. I'm attracted to both. Pansexual, I don't discriminate based on gender. It's perfectly normal (yes even at 40) to switch up what you like. Are you on T yet? It can change things around. Alot of guys find they're more attracted to or comfortable with women or men after T.

I was exclusively into girls, although I liked some pretty boys when I was a teen. I actually was interested in men when I was a big lesbian but I had a creepy male friend who controlled a lot of what I did and had this, if you want a guy it has to be me.  Hard to explain how I got into that.  Anyway, I repressed any feelings I might have for men.  I consider myself bi now, but I think I'm more one of those annoying people who gets drunk and goes quite gay. I always want to make out with guys when I'm drunk, in a buddy buddy way if that makes sense.  I seem to find the girliest looking guy and go MAN YOU'RE SO PRETTY LETS PASSSHHHHHH. Hahaha. So far I can't imagine myself going out with a guy, but at the moment I can't imagine myself going out with a girl either.  After years of serial monogamy, I just wanna have some FUN.

Well, once I started questioning my identity I ended up looking at girls more, and in a different way. I'd liked some guys in the past, so I guess I'm bi. Before I was afraid of being a lesbian as my mom had a definite thing against lesbians.

Thanks for the replies guys. I am glad to see I'm  not the only one here that's been through this. I was on T for about 6 months a couple years back but had to go off of them. I'm now trying to get back on it.

I still like looking at men, but I think that I'm finding that a woman has more of what I'm looking for mentally now or something. She makes me feel more like a man too..I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

Quote from: Bones on June 23, 2010, 10:59:15 PM
She makes me feel more like a man too..I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

It probably does.

Ok so i'm only 19 but up until a couple years ago I thought I only liked guys. I was never in what I considered a serious relationship and I only had what i thought were crushes on boys, which really were the boys i wanted to be when i look back on it now. I think i only liked boys because it was the "norm" or what i thought i was supposed to do. A couple of years ago I just kinda realized woa i like girls, i realllly like girls! and soon after that i realized i was trans.. even though i always knew i wanted to be a boy i just realized there was a name for it and i wasnt the only one in the world. i'm not on t yet, but i still like only girls.

Quote from: michaeljay33 on June 23, 2010, 11:01:42 PM
Ok so i'm only 19 but up until a couple years ago I thought I only liked guys. I was never in what I considered a serious relationship and I only had what i thought were crushes on boys, which really were the boys i wanted to be when i look back on it now.

You know. You bring up a very interesting point. A lot of the men that I had obsessions with I realize weren't because I wanted to be with them or anything but because I wanted to BE them. I remember when I was younger and pretending I was Morten Harket from a-ha or Luke Skywalker. I was always trying to imitate men in movies right after I seen them..that's something to think about too. And when I think about it. ALL the stars or singers I tried to imitate were ALL men.

Ya it just kinda hit me when i looked back on it, all the male celeberties and anyone i thought i had a crush on, i really just wanted to be. I would try and dress like them and act like them and it makes a lot more sense to me now lol.

Quote from: michaeljay33 on June 23, 2010, 11:20:20 PM
Ya it just kinda hit me when i looked back on it, all the male celeberties and anyone i thought i had a crush on, i really just wanted to be. I would try and dress like them and act like them and it makes a lot more sense to me now lol.

I'm like that, at least with some celebrities.  I have a really big crush on Miyavi, but I also want to be him.  It's more of a 'wanting to be him' thing.

I'm actually starting to lean towards more wanting to be with a female right now, and it's driving me crazy because I'm happy with my boyfriend.

Quote from: Bones on June 23, 2010, 11:06:33 PM
You know. You bring up a very interesting point. A lot of the men that I had obsessions with I realize weren't because I wanted to be with them or anything but because I wanted to BE them. I remember when I was younger and pretending I was Morten Harket from a-ha or Luke Skywalker. I was always trying to imitate men in movies right after I seen them..that's something to think about too. And when I think about it. ALL the stars or singers I tried to imitate were ALL men.

Definitely this. It took me a long time to learn to separate the guys I wanted to be with from the guys I wanted to be.

I used to experiment with guys pre transition but now I only date girls. I actually envied the guys because they got to date the girl and I didn't. Im trying to separate the difference between me thinking girls are awesome and me actually wanting to be one, which I don't because I'm not