I've come out to my kids and select friends so far.  My wife knew about me since before we were married, twenty years ago.

My next hurdle is to come out to my family.

My family, while near, usually don't get together accept at holidays (and weddings and funerals).

I've started HRT and I've been told my face has started to fill out and become less angular, more feminine looking.  To people who see me infrequently, such as my family, I'm sure that I'll get questions about my face.  One of my brothers is a surgical tech who has worked with transsexuals.  I wouldn't put it past him to read me immediately.  I didn't want to make the holidays about me, nor did I want to make a family gathering my coming out party.  My family is less than broad minded (that's putting it politely) and coming out like that would not make it look like something out of "Going My Way".

I also don't intend to go to the gathering dressed as myself, I'd still go in drab.  Next year though...

My intension is to meet with each of them individually, in drab, and try to explain myself as a transsexual and my intension to pursue a feminine lifestyle with possible SRS.

I anticipate all types of reactions from complete rejection (what I think is most probable) to complete acceptance (surprising).

I'm trying to defuse the situation and make this announcement as un-threatening as possible.

Have any of you tried this approach?  If so how did it go?  Did you manage to keep it from blowing up?

Any thoughts would be appreciated!

Thanks!

-Sandy

Tink:

Thank you for your eloquent response.  It has given me a lot to think about.  Patience and time.  The two things people like us need in great abundance. 

This afternoon I came out to an old friend.  We went to lunch and I was jumpy as a cat.  We started with some small talk and after a little bit I couldn't eat anything because I was so nervous.  I just put down my sandwich looked at her and said:

"I'm a transsexual..."
And she said; "Ok...".  And just looked at me expecting me to continue.  She looked very shocked.

I really tried not to get too misty eyed.  I kept telling myself that it was a happy time.  That we would remain friends.  And it all started to tumble out.  Fortunately the sandwich shop had few people in it and there weren't any people near us at the time.  I didn't go into all the details.  Just because it's possibly the most important thing in my life doesn't make it the most important thing in hers.  I figured that if she had questions she would ask.  A couple times she did.

After I quit talking she grinned and said, "Good for you!  Now finish your sandwich!"

She is happy for me and wants to go shopping with me soon.  It is a complete surprise to her, but as long as I'm happy and my depression is controlled, then go for it.  After lunch we hugged and headed back to work.  We'll be going to lunch again soon.

Over all it was a good experience.  I hope it goes as smoothly with my family...

-Sandy