From my therapist's form:
"What does being a man/woman mean to you?"

I've my own answer, but would love to hear your thoughts.

There's not really a formula for it to me...  When I say "Be a man" to myself it's usually to try to muster up the energy or courage to do something I don't want to do, but that's not so much to say that I think men are more energetic or courageous - just that as I currently am, my body is not ideal and the frustration coming from this makes me depressed, which in turn makes me fearful and sluggish.  As my "ideal man" or goal for my transition, the few personality things I intend to tackle, like my passivity, aren't gender things but come from the GID in the first place...  So being a man to me, I guess, would be trying to live up to the ideal version of me that I keep telling myself exists, and he doesn't cater to gender stereotypes

Although, wait, I am kinda chivalrous and that's supposedly a man thing...  But I'm chivalrous to males as well as females so I hope I'm not being unconsciously sexist :/

Being a woman means not having to lie anymore.

Hiee,

  For me being female allows me to interact with society with how I feel inside and no longer having to put on a show  , of course now that my body has changed somewhat that is a much easier life to live.

Byee,
  Brina

   Being a man means nothing to me (to me).

   Being a woman means everything. Being a woman means not only knowing myself, but also having the courage to express myself. I am having a little trouble expressing myself.

  I wish I hadn't started answering this question. Thinking about my being stuck inside this male is making me sad.


Rebecca

Hey Rebecca, very interesting question / post.
Well here goes:
Being a man means, well very little but very much mostly do to the fact that i "LEARNED" to be a guy to stay hidden for so long-unlearning that is not something i can do in a month or a year..
When i was like 8 my sister caught me wearing one of her bras.. Later that evening the dreaded talk with my mother she was short and pointed about it she said whatever was going on to stop it she never wanted to see that again and if people found out they would think something was wrong with me.. Hmm 38 years old and that little speech of hers was like a bad seed planted in me!  To me a trauma i have not outgrown yet.  How cruel for your own mother to tell you this at such a young impressionable age! Anyway so i tuned into being a guy (and kept the girl in me hidden and private and she never came out to anyone until i was in my mid 20's)
Thus being a guy is something i know a lot about, funny how good of a cameleon I've become in my life, i weave an air of mystery to others who see or meet me.  I am one of those people who say they cannot immediatly put their finger on me?  GREAT!
Being a man to me means being a lie, living a lie, being fake, not being technically (physically real) real.  It also means I've found ways to manipulate the gender of being male physically to a certain degree.
I would never say i have the best of both worlds, that was said to me by a friend once trying to cheer me up?  I thought the best of both worlds?  When all i ever wanted was normality or even lifes worst thrown at me in one world...
What does being a woman mean to me?  I guess eveything, more powerfully EVERYTHING... I dream about turning back my birth and being done right, about having a real womans body, being able to give birth, genetically have a menstral cycle, having hormones, long hair, features the works and -etc...
And as i have said I am very complicated gender aside i am a perfectionist, obsessive compulsive to a degree, some days more obsessive about things and other days more compulsive about things! This just adds to an already complicated life! Some days driving into work i just wanna turn my car around and drive the other way?  Problem is where is the other way a road to somewhere i cannot go at this time!
I think there's hope some form of it anyway.. I pray my mother a long life but if the good lord takes her from me then i suspect i will make some dramatic changes.
Cool post Rebecca!
Ricki

Nothing.

Man, woman, makes no difference.  I am who I am.  If we try to be stereotypical men or women aren't we buying into the same mindset that jailed us for years?  You are either one or the other, there is no in between.  Do you want to give into them again?

If I was born a genetic female and had the personality I do today people would say "She's a very strong woman."  "She's smart."  "She's a born leader."  "She's a hard worker."  "She's a lot of fun to be with."  "She's a nut!"  And more.  The point is none of this is gender specific.  Change the pronoun and the same could be said about males as well.  Man, woman, makes no difference.  I am who I am and I won't be what "they" want me to be anymore.  It's called freedom. 

Julie

To me there's a definite difference, and I really can't describe it. The reason it's so hard to describe is because there's no one way to be a man and there's no one way to be a woman. Yet I know which gender I identify with, which gender (i.e. statistically most common traits) I most resemble, and most importantly, which I would be if given a choice.

I AM ME

I am a woman who holds my own dreams and destiny
I am a woman who grew from a boy into my own
I am a woman who has two legs that hold a solid foundation to my soul
I am a woman who has a mind that is clear-cut and stays on point
I am a woman who has no problem staying alone
I am a woman who can thrive through hard times
I am a woman who has dropped so many tears on my flesh and in my spirit
I am a woman whose hands can work just as hard as any men's
I am a woman who has no problems running my emotions deep
I am a woman who loves too quick, too hard, and too long
I am a woman who is always right although in your eyes forever wrong
I am a woman who never runs from what they say, I confront it loudly
I am a woman who always screams when they try to make me silent
I am a woman who is strong and the main muscle in my mind is justice
I am a woman whom they don't know, whom they have always failed to see
I am me
Total. Free.


Handsome: A woman is the opposite of being a man.


tinkerbell

Quote from: Tinkerbell on November 12, 2006, 12:33:35 AM
I am me
Total. Free.


Handsome: A woman is the opposite of being a man.


tinkerbell

Well said, Tinkerbell.

   I don't see myself as strong as you see yourself. I wish I did, though.

Quote from: Ricki on November 11, 2006, 07:40:24 PM
I would never say i have the best of both worlds, that was said to me by a friend once trying to cheer me up?  I thought the best of both worlds?  When all i ever wanted was normality or even lifes worst thrown at me in one world...

  Ricki,
   started this post.  Shhh, don't tell anyone.   
   I'd rather have all life's worst thrown at me in one world too.


peace,

Rebecca
   

I tried to explain the difference between a man and a woman to my bf once.  I said something about how a woman is the string and woodwind sections and a man is the brass and percussion...  (I guess the piano and choir would be androgynes?)  Their energy seems very different to me, the women are generally soft and utterly beautiful but can also play driving rythms and powerful leads, while the men are generally harder-edged and louder but can also play softly and liltingly.  They can play the same songs but their respective versions will sound very different, and when they play together as equals they sound amazing.

I got assigned first chair first violin when I would gladly take last chair *anything* on the other side of the pit.  I know they are both very versatile but they are so, so different to me.

Quote from: Ricki on November 11, 2006, 07:40:24 PM
Hey Rebecca, very interesting question / post.

I have to agree with you, Ricki. I found it to be a very thought provoking question myself.

Quote from: Kiera on November 12, 2006, 08:43:15 AMHey . . . umop?? A formal hello from Kiera!! ""there's no one way [I've tried with success] to be a man [while] there's [so many different ways I know I can] be a woman"" ??

Hello back at'cha. Wow, that's really good the way you've expressed yourself. Kind of adding another dimension to the words.

Quote (I've always admired your photo)

Thank you! I've taken a couple of new ones and might use one of them here.

Jus cause i'm a blonde..
I know  started it hehe.....lol
But the responses are good and i liked yours Rebecca it had some points of how i feel as well...

QuoteBeing a woman means everything. Being a woman means not only knowing myself, but also having the courage to express myself. I am having a little trouble expressing myself.

See what you get for being so insightful---i'll dedicvate a chocolate cheesecake to you later on this week!
I have trouble expressing myself as a woman and some times as a man too?
Hmmmmmmmmmm  hmm I do not wanna be that car that does not always turn over when you try to turn it on..
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
cyber hugs
ricki

You know, that's a question I never thought much about, what being a woman or a man means to me.  We all know all the various gender stereotypes, so i don't need to restate them here, but being a woman, to me goes beyond the obvious stereotypical "a woman is this" thinking.  As a woman, i make sense to myself.  My emotions, my moods, the way I walk and my gestures, all seem to fit better as a woman than they did for me as a male.   I don't think I ever was truly a man, it didn't seem to fit me.  People would laugh at me or avoid me, or just didn't take me seriously as a male.   As a woman, I am still a bit reserved, but I am beginning to be a bit more outgoing, I stop and talk with people more often than I did as a male.  My way of communicating is decidely more feminine, and as a man I was awkwardly quiet and shy, because I couldn't communnicate the way guys do.  Maybe this doesn't answer the question, but being a woman, to me, means making sense to myself. 

Quote from: Debbie_Anne on November 12, 2006, 07:28:59 PMMaybe this doesn't answer the question, but being a woman, to me, means making sense to myself. 

Thank you, Debbie Anne!  Very well said!

helen

   

Quote from: Debbie_Anne on November 12, 2006, 07:28:59 PM
As a woman, i make sense to myself.  My emotions, my moods, the way I walk and my gestures, all seem to fit better as a woman than they did for me as a male.   I don't think I ever was truly a man, it didn't seem to fit me.  People would laugh at me or avoid me, or just didn't take me seriously as a male.   As a woman, I am still a bit reserved, but I am beginning to be a bit more outgoing, I stop and talk with people more often than I did as a male.  My way of communicating is decidely more feminine, and as a man I was awkwardly quiet and shy, because I couldn't communnicate the way guys do.  Maybe this doesn't answer the question, but being a woman, to me, means making sense to myself. 

   I think Debbie Ann's words say what I meant to say, but better. The parallel between our experiences is too strange.


   Ricki,
   
   If you knew me, you'd know my appetite demands 2 chocolate cheesecakes be dedicated to me. Yummmmm!!
   I think you're going to spoil everyone's diets with all these cakes and pies you talk about. It sure would be a great world if we could eat it all.


Love,

Rebecca

Yup! Scooby doooo...........
that's why i changed the pic we gotta get our fannies out there and burn some carbs off!
My thighs hurt just looking at the skis though? ughhhhh
I guess dog sledding is an option but boxer dogs do not like the cold much!
cyber hugs
Thanks
ricki

Quote from:  link=topic=7231.msg55433#msg55433 date=1163258979
From my therapist's form:
"What does being a man/woman mean to you?"

I've my own answer, but would love to hear your thoughts.

I've been pondering this lately.  When my transition failed, I think it was in part due to the fact that I didn't have a strong sense of who I was or how transition was going to bridge the gap between who I was and who I wanted to be.

Um so as a man I guess I see it as I'm surviving.  Its not daily misery fest, but every night I go to bed feeling like something is missing.  I feel like I'm only living half the life I should be.

That I've been able to define so far, it is ever changing, Madison is about relating to the world in a way that makes sense to me.  I don't expect it to be smooth sailing, but its being alot more true to myself then I am in my current situation.