Have you given up something you used to enjoy because of you gender issues?

This is mine... the one way I was able to relate to guys growing up is I was athletic and pretty good at sports, and I really did enjoy them.  I enjoyed basketball in particular and I was especially good at it.

However, after my resistance to dysphoria started collapsing a few years ago I just had to give up playing.  It would make me feel too masculine, plus all the masculine energy that goes on on a basketball court made me really uncomfortable.  The last couple times I played ended with me in tears and feeling fraudulent and just ... gross.  I haven't even tried playing for almost a year now.

Now things have settled a bit and, while I contend with dysphoria still sometimes, it just isn't as pervasive, so I have been thinking about trying to play again, girls play basketball sometimes, right?  The problem is I know I would out myself as soon as I got on the stinkin' court.  This might be a separate topic too, but, while I'm not strong anymore, I'm very tall for a girl and I don't think I've lost any coordination from being on HRT.  I can just imagine the reaction if I dunked on somebody lol.

I dunno I know I'm being a baby, but this has me frustrated.

I was thinking the same way about stuff that I like. I had a friend many years ago that played basket ball just so happens she is a girl. she love playing all of the time. she played for the school that she was going to at the time. I on the other hand did not like it, but I liked watching her play basket ball and she was good at it. If I had been born a bio girl I think that I would have been a tomboy because I realize that a lot of things that like I would still have liked those things as a girl. what we like is we like so have fun and just be you. As for the girl stuff I don't do much because I did not get to learn anything from friends and other girls. so I am just learning what I like  and don't like even girls like and don't like stuff about being a girl so what makes us think that we are going to like everything. lol.

Lots of good, tall girl basketball players in my neck of the woods.  You might be able to find a group to play with, or a league.  I don't think you'd necessarily out yourself.  Lots of those college girls are tall, and GOOD!!

I don't think I've given up anything, though a few things are on hold.  And now I wish I still had my sewing machine (broke and got rid of it a long time ago, before transition).  I  may just have to get a new one so I can redecorate (read: reupholster) my RV.

Jay

But Drunk Army Girls™ act almost exactly like Drunk Army Boys™ in mixed company - how do you think I blended so well in the military?

I do worry about it outing me, but then I dunno sometimes I don't care about that.  The thing that was like soul-crushing the last time I played was it just made me feel so masculine and it triggered INTENSE dysphoria.

This is the one thing that was masculine about me and it was just about the only way I could relate to "the guys" and I think I may have some residual mental association going on with that, it has become in my mind the thing that makes me like a man.

I've thought about playing tennis or something, and maybe that's an option.  I don't want to give up being active just cause of this gender thing.  That, in and of itself, doesn't seem genuine, and for goodness sakes I enjoyed it (until it made me cry lol) and again because it was how I related to guys, I would say my personal identity is tied in with it, every bit as much as like my height is.  I am the tall one.  I am that person that's good at basketball.

Does that make sense?

Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 30, 2010, 11:19:50 PM
Good point; though the Drunk Army Girls™ I knew tended to sleep with the whole battalion!

um...(blushes)

Quote from: sneakersjay on June 30, 2010, 11:15:29 PM
Lots of good, tall girl basketball players in my neck of the woods.  You might be able to find a group to play with, or a league.  I don't think you'd necessarily out yourself.  Lots of those college girls are tall, and GOOD!!

I don't think I've given up anything, though a few things are on hold.  And now I wish I still had my sewing machine (broke and got rid of it a long time ago, before transition).  I  may just have to get a new one so I can redecorate (read: reupholster) my RV.

Jay

I want a sewing machine so bad!  I keep wanting to make things and I don't have one I can use anymore.  I need to get one...

Anyway you could be right about the tall girls thing.  This is partially a mental issue for me I think.

Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 30, 2010, 11:34:18 PM
Or get into Roller Derby - that's my goal after SRS 

I'm not tough enough for rollerderby, lol!

I've never heard of netball before.  It looks like it might be cool, but I think girls in the states would just play basketball lol.

Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 30, 2010, 11:38:00 PM
How tall are you Jen (if you don't mind me asking)?

6'2"

I'm 6'2" also... LOL

Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on June 30, 2010, 11:43:07 PM
That's within the upper limits of the female height range; you certainly wouldn't get the stares that taller trans women receive.

I'm sure you're right.  Every once in a blue moon I'll run into another girl that is as tall as me.  Even though it's pretty rare I'm definitely glad that it does happen.

Lol yay Virginia!

Wearing skirts.

Tight tops.  I still occasionally wear tank tops, but mostly because it is really really hot here and I don't have good t-shirts yet.  But it's getting to the point where I can't wear tight tops without just staring at my breasts and going into a funk.  I'm slowly giving up the tight tops (unless a situation really calls for them). 

And tall girls are pretty hot, y'all (no, I'm not saying that because I'm slightly tall myself).  Tall girls are pretty prized in many places, except for So. Mississippi.

Quote from: Virginia Marie on June 30, 2010, 11:44:36 PM
I'm 6'2" also... LOL

Yeah I am 6'0.5" >_< I am taller than any other girl I know...

I did and still do road bike racing, there are several girls on our team. I know I am saying now I will never give it up, but I don't know what is in the future.

For you girls that think you are too tall to do well in a female role. My sister's good friend is 6'. She is the shortest of 5 girls. The tallest is 6'5". Natal girls taller than most of you. It can and does happen so don't get too down on yourself over that point.

Quote from: Shang on July 01, 2010, 12:12:31 AM
Wearing skirts.

I can see how if you were used to wearing skirts they would be hard to give up.  They are so comfortable, well if they are long enough that you don't have to be always making sure not to flash everybody lol.

Quote from: LordKAT on July 01, 2010, 12:21:06 AM
For you girls that think you are too tall to do well in a female role. My sister's good friend is 6'. She is the shortest of 5 girls. The tallest is 6'5". Natal girls taller than most of you. It can and does happen so don't get too down on yourself over that point.

Thanks LordKAT! <3

There is a gal who works at the market I go to that is my height and I've seen gals from the university my height about

Quote from: ƃuıxǝʌ on July 01, 2010, 12:44:27 AM
there are some great advantages to being tall 

Totally, like you can see how dusty the tops of people's refrigerators get!

And here I was feeling too tall at 5'9.5

I don't meet many girls taller than me, though thankfully the reverse is also true (rarely meet any guys shorter), thus keeping the dating pool relatively open (guys shorter than me are out, lol)

Quote from: Jen on July 01, 2010, 01:02:05 AM
Totally, like you can see how dusty the tops of people's refrigerators get!

Plus it's much easier to clean the tops of our own 'fridges ...LOL

Quote from: Ashley4214 on July 01, 2010, 01:03:23 AM
And here I was feeling too tall at 5'9.5

Honey, that is short to me lol.  It's all relative .  Speaking of relatives, I don't think there is a girl in my extended family that is shorter than 5'9", so you should never feel tall.

Quote from: Ashley4214 on July 01, 2010, 01:03:23 AM
And here I was feeling too tall at 5'9.5

You're within the average for fashion model height