everybody,                          I am Anisha a 18 year old biologically male . I used to cross dress from my young days but lately there has been a peculiar problem .Till my 17 years i had some times the feeling of changing sex but it was temporary. But lately i have started to mansturbate but not by watching porn but by watching girls in music video .I dont touch my organ but i sleep on my stomach and allow my organ to be rubbed on my bed.  I imagine myself as the girl in video and once i mansturbate after it I feel relieved and I can then concentrate on other work . It happens around 4-5 times a day.It wastes my time and am unable to do anything he i an with someone because then i cant do it.                                                     I have a girl whom i love very much but some times i feel as if i an gay and should break up with her . I imagine myself as a wife with my husband And kissing him like female actresses do in the television.but after i mansturbate i comeback to practical world and realize i love my girl friend .I think i am homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder as i sometimes feel afraid that i am gay.But i sometimes try to convince myself that i am gay and trans . I think i am also suffering from transexual obsessive compulsive disorder .I dont know why it has happened to me but please everybody i need more explanation and help on it.please guys help me.
Thanking you,
Yours Anisha

Hi Anisha,
I think you need to talk through your issues with a gender therapist. There is nothing wrong in your masturbation fantasy. It doesn't mean you are TG, gay or straight. But it would be sensible to talk through your concerns with a professional.

Cindy

Anisha

Welcome to absolute normality.   

Masturbation is the best fun you can have alone. I too, and I know without asking, that almost everyone here remembers looking forward to the next time I could do it again. 

There is nothing abnormal about feeling and thinking differently after. As you get more secure with yourself and who you are, that will be less noticable.

As Cindy say, have a face to face chat with someone about it.

But take your time before making any decision, especially about your girlfriend.