Welcome Caliash,
S.O refers to persons in a some type of relationship with another person in ones life that one cares about. So yes you qualify.
I can not speak for others but would guess myself included there are none here whom have at one point or another made a statement or used actions, even left posts in this life time that were offences in one way or another to some one.
Here at Susan's we are for the most part, open to sharing our opinions often without being asked and definately some will when asked to.
We are however not supposed to be judgemental of other members. If you have not read the rules please do so. I take a minute to read over them every so often even though I have been a member for a year now.
The way you worded your post is why the type of replies you are going to receive some in the same tone and strength pointing out wrong and right. I however feel that it is not a matter of wrong or right just a matter of preference. Each and every person born has those rights of preference and it is not for another to say whom is right or wrong in what they base these choices on.
Communication and honesty is very important from the beginnning of a relationship, even just, non attached, unconnected in the romantic sence type relationships. When one finds themselves moving into more of a connection type or committed type relationship, honesty is a must.
I applaud your new found friend for being honest and up front with you so early on in your relationship. I commend your honest response as well. Maybe time will help you develope a more gentle choice of words and soften what you say when you honestly put them in to written word. It is very difficult to say things in written word, without the help of eye contact and voice tone to soften them so as not to come across hurtful. And maybe your choice of words are limited if English is not you first language. People tend to be more understanding if this is the case.
I dare say your new found friend knew the risks of being open with you as she shared with you she was afraid of loosing your connection. She also wanted your honesty and expected no less from you than your being truthful. That you were. And you have nothing to be sorry for...other than the degree of sensitivity you may have stated your response to her with.
As for having made her feel she was a man in your eyes...I feel you would have to be less than honest and blamed your feelings on something other than what she shared, say like you prefer blonds. It just wouldn't have flown and she would have suspected. The way it was brought out by her, any reply other than "It makes no difference to you", couldn't raise thoughts of anything else in her mind.
I have no idea of your educational level, but I would have to say that unless you have been in a progressive school system where alternative life styles are taught in their program, you would not have been very prepared to be educated in areas of intersexed relationships. Other than that of the training in church and home. I don't recall this being taught in Sunday school classes growing up either, nor in youth group. It wasn't something spoke openly about. As mentioned in earlier posts this site has the material to educate yourself so you can understand her issues and offer her the support she needs and allow you to move on through life with a more gentle way of expressing your feelings honestly and supportively.
Smiles,
Peggiann
