Trans Issues in Electoral Politics
By Dana Beyer
http://www.tikkun.org/article.php/july2010beyerI stood there, silently, the older boys already wound in t'fillin, shuckling at an increasingly rapid pace. I was frightened of the stench of all that testosterone, mixed with the sweat of the rabbis at the head of the class, leading the davening. And I was expected to say, Blessed art Thou, O Lord, our God, King of the universe, for not having made me a woman." Saying it felt like swallowing crushed glass, so I didn't say it out loud.
So what does a girl trapped into living as a boy, unable to remove the mask of maleness, do immersed in a religion which praises purity as an ideal, one to which I could never aspire, having been born with a blemish more impactful than a pimple on a parah adumah, a red heifer? She does what her father ordered her to do -- face forward, with attached blinders, and immerse herself in the traditions of her people as well as the Enlightenment, and go forth and become a doctor. But go forth detached, dissociated from self, playing a role with morbid pleasure while feeling her gut slowly corroding in the acid of self-deception. I was trained well, and it almost killed me.
