Well, technically, I'm entering into a Civil Partnership. In 6 weeks time.

Here's my dilemma - only a few of the guests know I'm trans. The rest just think I'm a v butch lesbian. And after all, this is a same-sex wedding, so perhaps now's not the time to confuse things for the elderly relatives...

My partner is wearing a seriously hot Day of the Dead rockabilly dress. I WAS going to do the same....yes, me in a dress  This is because I know my family will be horrified if I wear a suit, and I figured a mad rockabilly dress would at least feel more like 'fancy-dress' than a wedding frock. However, my best friend and my girlfriend have talked me out of the dress thing, knowing how unhappy it was making me. Now I'm trying to work out what to wear that won't make me look like the biggest stereotype in the world.

I know there's a fashion thread, but there's more to this than just 'what to wear'. I am not comfortable in my own skin, nor do I ever feel comfortable in anything that shows my boobs...or curves...or, well, anything, really! The only thig about my body I like is my tattoos, which I'd quite like to show off at the wedding. This is seriously messing with my head, as I want to be true to me, not feel like an idiot, and 'do right by everyone'. Naturally, I lean towards a suit, but I don't want to do the "One girl in pretty dress, one (sic) in a tux" civil partnership thing.

I have found a cool Day of the Dead tie online, and some black skull and rose baseball boots that more or less match (the tie and my gf's dress), so that's a starting point! Any ideas as to how I can not go mad choosing what to wear? I spent the morning choosing cupcake flavours for the reception, and trying to do a table plan, which is bad enough!

It is your wedding, not your relatives. You invite them to celebrate with you. Dress as you would like and if they don't like it, they can go eat for free somewhere else.

I would side with LordKAT.  It is your day and hers.  You do want you want and telll those how are shocked to go pound sand.

Just wear a suit.

i agree with SilverFang - just wear a suit. It's more about how you perceive yourself than them perceiving you. as long as you look confident, i don't think it really matters.

Its your wedding.  Wear a mans suit, and f-ck what they say.

Have to side with everyone else on this one.

As for your elderly relatives. They've presumably accepted you being lesbian. They've accepted civil partnership. I somehow can't see why they would have any difficulity in you wearing what you want on YOUR day.

And one more thing.

CONGRADULATIONS.

Marriage is fantastic. Lonliness sucks. Have a great time and an even better life.

It's your day, you can do whatever you want.

As the others have said it's your day, and particularly your bride. Guys usually follow what the bride suggests, it is her BIG day. Don't dress to distract from her that's a real no no. So a suit and tie, I don't think a dress is appropriate, but a suit with the tie and shoes sounds you found sounds great.

As for the family, so what, it is her day and your day. They are there by invitation. If they don't approve so what.

Congratulations I hope it goes really well, and of course we girls would love to see some pics of the great day.

Cindy

I'd also side with everyone else. You could wear the Day of the Dead tie with it.

After all; you don't want it to become a 'One girl in a dress, and a guy in a tie.. Yes; a tie...'-wedding, right?

Quote from: LordKAT on July 11, 2010, 12:31:49 PM
It is your wedding, not your relatives. You invite them to celebrate with you. Dress as you would like and if they don't like it, they can go eat for free somewhere else.

^This

(also, it's entertainingly worded!)

Ohh you're getting married!!! grats yay.

Be yourself, whatever, it's your day like they said, yep, can be hard, easy said than done.. but hey! You have your loved one, the rest aren't staying with you (you know what I mean).

Makes me imagine me with my boyfriend one day <3

Thanks all - I kind of knew what to do, but sometimes you need to hear it from others who understand. I am very isolated here in rural Norfolk, and whilst friends are supportive, it can be hard for them to grasp my issues. Eg: Me: "I can't wait to get rid of my breasts. They make me feel like an alien" Them: "What? No! Your breasts are great. You look fantastic". It's a perspective thing, I guess. As for family...despite my age, I still want to please everyone. Though as LordKAT pointed out, if they don't like what I wear, I'll take away their hand-crafted mojito cupcakes....