I just came back from a week long trip to visit with my sister who I love so much and who lives in Chicago. As usual, I had a great time during stay and spent lots of evenings straight to the morning hours talking with her as I always do enjoy. Suddenly during one early evening she said: do you have something special to tell me, I froze and then, reluctantly as though someone else was speaking through me said: "yes" but time isn't just right and it would be a burden on her have I told her. Of course said that there was no way back, but for strangest reason all fear has left and calm has filled the room. She gestured with her finger to follow her into garage where she smokes because of mosquitoes on the porch. We sat down and she said: "so what is it?" "Do you know what transgender means", I asked. "yes I do" she said. Our eyes met and she smiled this most beautiful smile, I started to explain about all the past hurt, guilt, confusion, she listened. During conversation I deciphered that she didn't know and never suspected. A while had passed and she looked at me and said:" why did you keep this from me for so long, now I understand, lots of things make sense to me now. I am so sorry you had to suffer, have I only known before. I love your sole and I hurt when you do" When she said that I simply broke to tears and so did she and we embraced god only knows how long.
Lots of tears have been shed that night but they were tears of joy and love. I have dreamed of night like this all my life but was so afraid the same. My sister proved to me her unconditional and eternal love, she has now lessen my burden and released me from the bond.
I have taken first major steps in my new life and thanks to her I will be ME.
