Hello, I lurk around here, but don't make much posts...

And I'd like some opinions, if you wouldn't mind.

So, I've been dealing with being trans for about two years.. but by "dealing with" I mean I've been making sure this is what I want, so I don't screw things up, Im sure you all know the drill. BUT, Im turning 18 in a few days and Im debating whether I should come out to my sister about being trans.

Do you think it's a bad idea to come out on my birthday? I've been putting off coming out to her for a very long time, and I have previously discussed being "uncomfortable" with my gender around her. Her and I are very close, but when I bring the gender subject up with her, we don't talk much about it because she usually changes the topic.

I dont know, I think I just need some people to back me up about finally stepping up and coming out.

Opinions are appreciated, thank-you : )

I don't know enough about your situation. What would be the advantages to doing it now?

I don't think it matters. Just consider what plans you have for the day and how telling her might interrupt them.

Basically, one less person referring to me as "she", "her", "girl" would be lovely. Also, I'm pretty certain she'll be supportive of me, and help me come out to the rest of my family/friends etc.

I feel bad keeping this from her, since we've been close since we were kids.

Do it then, sounds like you want to.

Why can't you tell her right now!

I dont have a good reason, besides being a dramatic chicken, of course.

hahaha. Lawdy. Lawdy.

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Post Merge: July 15, 2010, 02:05:43 AM

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Thank-you for responding. I suppose it's really obvious that I should just come out already, if I actually think about it... haha.

As long as you don't think that it could cause a problem (like if your parents found out somehow), I would go for it. Older sisters/brothers seem to be more supportive, because they're not as attached to you as your parents are, but are still family. And since you'll be 18, you can move out if something goes bad. Just make sure you tell her if you don't want her to say anything to your parents or other people. Just make sure you're ready and that that's what you want. Good luck!

Thank-you : D
Yeah, my sister is my best friend. I feel like she might be a little bothered by this at first, but I know she'll come around very quickly, once she realizes it makes me happy.

(Also, not related, but I love Hourou Musuko )

Let us know how things go! Good luck!

Why not talk to her and come out straight away, then you can always say that the best present she could give you was to use the correct pronouns whenever she can.

Oh congratulations and Happy Birthday   to a new brother

Cindy

Although coming out can be really hard, I think its the best way to go when it comes to people who you're close with. And if you're that close, she will most likely be understanding even if it makes her feel a little uncomfortable at first, you have to be prepared for that because its only natural. But I'm sure you'll feel a lot better after you tell her, I did when I told my mom because now I don't feel like I'm dealing with this on my own, she's a support system.

Quote from: wams on July 15, 2010, 01:56:45 AM
Do you think it's a bad idea to come out on my birthday?

In my experience, women do not generally appreciate surprises that contradict or void the emotional and/or social context of the event in which the surprise takes place; announcing that much of what she believes about her own family is incorrect, and that great and disturbing changes approach, is not the sort of message that you deliver over cake and frosting.  Perhaps your sister is an exception, but I would be surprised if she reacted well to this.

I would come out before the birthday, were I in your position.  "Nay, dear master, my mind has long been gnawed by the cankering tooth of mystery. Better have it out at once."

- N

It's my belief that coming out during celebrations is always a bad idea. People want to hang out and party, not have to mull over some new information and rethink their relationship with someone.

I have to third the "don't come out during a celebration" sentiment. Even if it is your birthday, it's still sort of awkward to surprise people with heavy news when they're supposed to be celebrating.

Coming out is big enough that it deserves its own day. Tell her before your birthday, and give her the chance to pick out an appropriate relevant present

Thank-you for your thoughts everyone. I appreciate it all very much : )

Let us all know how it goes!

(I just started reading last week, but I've already almost finished [chapter 77]. I love it!)