When I first joined this board a couple days ago, I put myself in the questioning column, and while that still in someways is true, realistically I have to declare myself an MtF.  I've come to know it makes no difference to anyone on this board, but its important for me to identify that way.  There are still so many unanswered questions that I have, and as ardent as I was about "doing it my way" with Brianna, it is largely thanks to her persistence that I am in the works to see a therapist and try to find the answers I seek.

I told Brianna it was like being on the top hill of a roller coaster, you're scared and excited all at the same time.  I have so many unresolved issues from my past to face, but if anything I'm tired of living the way I have been.

Oh and since Refugee is such a mouthfull...feel free to call me Madison.   

Madison,

Do not be so quick to allow others to influence your thinking. This is a wonderfull forum with lots of knowlegbe pople but in the end you need to find your own path. Do not try and push yourself into a pidgion hole - take time to explore and work out your true feelings. I for one wondered for a long time if I was in fact TS but I am now happy to say I am just TG/Androgyne - I do not need to go through transistion. Androgyne people identify with both Male & female people - if that is where you fit - that is OK.

Still my favourate Article here is Tickerbells thread within 'Transexuals will Transistion" (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2610.20.html). An abstract is below and I would encorage you to read the whole article. Take time to explore your feelings - there is no time limit to decide on what you need to do.

Yes it is a good idea to find a therapst as they will be able to talk through your issue and help you find your true path.

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Hi boys and girls:
After doing some research, I found an article somewhere which deals with this issue.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.


QUOTE "While there is no question that early intervention is of supreme benefit to the transsexual -and the earlier the better- it is often tantamount to suicide to make an error of judgment in the matter of sex reassignment, whatever the degree of alteration. For this reason, careful filters have been created, such as the Benjamin Standards Of Care, to help prevent the occurrence of hideous mistakes. Even so, there are always a few souls, and the suggestion is that the number is large, who use their special gifts to get around the system. Rarely, this results in the partial or total destruction of a life. The blame for such a mistake is squarely on the head of the person seeking reassignment, though some, in their pathos and degradation, attempt to sue or harass the very individuals that gave them what they themselves demanded.
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There are many resources for this process, from counselors and therapists to friends and even occasionally family. Nothing can replace the only real method, being willing to face one's own true feelings, which with or without guidance, is a solitary pursuit. You must make the effort to try to face yourself, and NEVER GIVE UP. Only you can ever really know you...though others can often act as mirrors if you are too close to your issues to see them directly. The key to success in self knowledge is to pursue it.
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Alice