Hi, just wondering because i feel like a bit of a freak. I have (or did) identify as lesbian for many years before i transitioned, have never had an experience with a man, but now I'm under the influence of the mighty testosterone have suddenly had the overwhelming urge(?) to explore my other side, that is, men. It has gone from wanting to look like them to actually occasionally being attracted to them. I can't decide if this is just unrealized curiosity or actually sexual attraction. It is very difficult as i have a loving female partner and I in no way want to hurt her, just don't quite know what to do with this attraction. Anyone out there had similar experiences once on T and if so, what did you do? Gah!

I am MTF but I will gatecrash as my mate is on T and as a former member in the male club I have been exposed to the stuff.

T makes you horny. Pure and simple. It also seems to lower sexual inhibitions and broaden one's definition of potential sexual partners. Not everyone has this experiance but it is common enough to point at it.

Ride with it. Have some fun explore your sexuality but PLAY IT SAFE!!!

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Post Merge: July 16, 2010, 09:22:49 AM

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Opps it escaped me you have a mate....
Time for a serious heart to heart.

Yeah, thought that might be the case. It's crazy! me and my lovely girlfriend have had very frank chats about it, but it is still a bit of a mind#%&&. I don't really get it. 

Since I'm in an honest mood and any inhibitions are basically non-existent I'll just say it's going the opposite way for me.  I identified as a gay male for so long but now that I've started on T it's girls that are starting to turn my head. 

It's not that I don't like guys.  Hmm, yes I do love them but girls are suddenly so much more fascinating.  I want to touch their soft rounded bodies.  I think part of it is that now I don't see myself as one of them but on the fringes.  I know I am of a different gender.  Which makes them like a previously unexplored species I want to get my mouth on. 

All thanks to T I am sure.  Wonderful extraordinary Testosterone!       

Fair enough! they are certainly beautiful and lovely creatures! Ah the idiosyncrasies of the mighty T!  Interesting that it can go the other way too. As a gay guy friend of mine once very crassly (but perhaps aptly said when talking about guys- "any hole is a goal" not that i am in any way inferring that about you (or me or anyone! for that matter!) but it kinda makes sense when thinking about guys vs girls sex drives. like the joke about gay guys and second dates: "what second date?" Testosterone sometimes feels like an all consuming hormone! I saw Henry Rollins in concert recently (look him up he is an amazing spoken word artist) an he talked about it being almost something that you needed to get rid of (you know what i mean) in order to get on with the day. I get that now. 

The way you put it in the title made me want to throw bricks at you. I instantly thought, "No, we're not lesbians. we're men. If we're attracted to women, it's straight." But pardon my spazzing. I tend to do that.

I've always liked both. Now that I'm on T I'd like to try out a sexual experience with a man. Mainly cause sex with women feels all wrong cause I can't penetrate. If I took it in the butt, to me, it would feel more like male sex. cause I refuse to use anythign artifical during sex, I won't use anything other than my own dick to penetrate a girl and it's not big enough for that yet. I identify as pansexual though. Meaning I don't consider gender in someone I'm attracted to.

ah! wow it's like you read my mind. So don't throw bricks at me!

I don't think that T will change your sexual orientation - it just makes you more horny.  I am a genetic male with deficient T, and I thought starting T would make me attracted to girls, but it just made me more interested in guys.  As Cynthia said, it will also lower your inhibitions.  I mean, bless their hearts, when guys get horny enough without an outlet, they will just about get it on with a tree!  As Steve Harvey says in his book, "guys need the cookie!" 

Best wishes Millsy.  When I dared to discuss gender and sexuality in the same thread, I got blasted out of the water.  Maybe you will have better luck.

Quote from: zombiesarepeaceful on July 16, 2010, 11:35:20 AM
The way you put it in the title made me want to throw bricks at you. I instantly thought, "No, we're not lesbians. we're men. If we're attracted to women, it's straight." But pardon my spazzing. I tend to do that.

Lol! I reacted the same way too...but I wasn't going to go all "RAWHH!! HULK SMASH!" on him.

But it's kinda weird for me. Since 7th grade I have always identified myself as bisexual, but through the whole transitioning phase I am leaning in more so as a straight man rather than a bisexual man. However, please note that I am not yet on T (Not for a few months). But I would have to agree with most people whom have already responded to this topic; it probably just makes your horny, the T.

You know, I was going to ask a similar question but in the opposite direction.  I've heard from some websites that T changes/can change your sexual orientation.  (I've also heard that that's a myth)  Did a lot of you notice a change in who you're attracted to, then?  I'm curious because it just doesn't seem likely to me (for me).  I've only ever been attracted to men, and I can't even look at female nudity in movies because it squicks me.

It better not make me bi. I was just getting comfortable with being gay.

I seriously doubt it will, though. It might make me willing to experiment, but I just don't have what it takes to be in a relationship with a woman - and I know enough gay guys to know that being willing to sleep with women occasionally in the absence of better options doesn't make you bi.

Quote from: kyril on July 16, 2010, 02:22:22 PM
It better not make me bi. I was just getting comfortable with being gay.

I seriously doubt it will, though. It might make me willing to experiment, but I just don't have what it takes to be in a relationship with a woman - and I know enough gay guys to know that being willing to sleep with women occasionally in the absence of better options doesn't make you bi.

I've noticed this as well with gay men and it makes me wonder just what makes someone gay?  Is it because your first choice as a sex partner is always a man?  Or is it because they would only consider a man for a long term relationship.  As opposed to just a one night stand?

I know some gay men who make literal gagging noises at the sight of a nude female breast.  As if they can't stand the sight and wouldn't get within 15 yards if they had the choice.  I suspect that's a lot of playing acting.  Then there are others who enjoy laying their head on them or playfully bouncing them around.   Those are the ones who sometimes end up sleeping with women if the mood takes them.  Still they loudly declare themselves to be completely gay.

So I don't know.  Is the first group not as comfortable with themselves and their sexuality as the second group who doesn't mind being more fluid?  Is bisexuality such a disgraced state that they would rather not face facts then be bisexual?  I know a lot of people say that bisexuality doesn't even exist.  With a lot of pseudo-science to back up their claims.  For the record I do believe it exists and is sadly maligned within gay culture.             

I'm sorry if my questions seem blunt.  No offence intended.  I've honestly been wondering and considering these things.   

It's important to remember you're going through a second puberty. During puberty things can sometimes be very confusing because of all the hormones raging through your body. So you could be bisexual, but you could also just being a 'teenager'.

There are quite a few FTMs that started off with attraction to women/men, got curious during the first year/months or so on T, but then came to the conclusion that they were just curious and then it went away. In some cases, it's not just a phase and they were able to find something out about themselves or admit it to themselves.

T has only amplified my interest in women. My orientation is the same, but what you're going through is 'normal' if that helps.

Quote from: Squirrel698 on July 16, 2010, 02:44:49 PM
I've noticed this as well with gay men and it makes me wonder just what makes someone gay?  Is it because your first choice as a sex partner is always a man?  Or is it because they are thinking men are the ones they want for a long term relationship and not just a one night stand?

I know some gay men who make literal gagging noises at the sight of a nude female breast.  As if they can't stand the sight and wouldn't get within 15 yards if they had the choice.  I suspect that's a lot of playing acting.  Then there are others who enjoy laying their head on them or playfully bouncing them around.   Those are the ones who sometimes end up sleeping with women if the mood takes them.  Still they loudly declare themselves to be completely gay.

So I don't know.  Is the first group not as comfortable with themselves and their sexuality as the second group who doesn't mind being more fluid?  Is bisexuality such a disgraced state that they would rather not face facts then be bisexual.  I know a lot of people say that bisexuality doesn't even exist.         

I'm sorry if my questions seem blunt.  No offence intended.  I've honestly been wondering and considering these things.   

You're on the right track. Men's sexualities are generally best thought of as relationship orientations rather than purely sexual orientations. Most men (even the ones who gag at the sight of a breast, or a penis if they're straight) are physically capable of having sex with almost anyone - the more desperate we are, the lower on our list of "preferred partners" we're willing to go, and sometimes "attractive friend of the wrong gender" looks like a lot more fun than "unattractive potentially-psycho stranger in an alley." We're not, however, capable of having a healthy relationship (or even an emotionally satisfying one-night stand) that conflicts with our orientation. Gay male relationships are fundamentally, deeply different from heterosexual ones even if you consider only long-term monogamous marriage-like relationships on both sides - and there are lots of gay men for whom that isn't the right structure at all.

And yeah, there are some gay men who acknowledge playing sexually with women, and there are some who don't (unlike on the straight side where basically no man will acknowledge same-sex play). But I don't think any of that has anything to do with real bisexuality. Gay male biphobia/bi-denial is centered around the issue of young gay men identifying as bi when they're not. Which does happen - when you're young and gay and not getting any, even girls start to look ok, and a lot of biphobes are basing their opinions on that fact. My experience is actually that biphobes/bi-denialists are more common among gay men who do play with women than among ones who don't, because they know from experience that you can find women attractive while being thoroughly gay.

my take

sex and relationship with same gender only=gay
sex with either gender but relationship with same gender only = gay with bisexual tendancys.
sex and relationship with either gender= bisexual
sex with either gender but relationship only with oposite gender= strait with bisexual tendancys
sex and relationships with only oposite gender= strait

Acording to Kinsey who is yet to be poroperly refuted the vast majority of humanity displays some degree of bisexuality. It is the default with oposite gender pairings the most likely outcome.
Social rules make being bisexual a serious social issue. To be bisexual seems to imply lack of monogamy. Which is rediculous, every one of us is capable of being faithful to our lovers.

Quote from: cynthialee on July 16, 2010, 03:23:38 PM
Acording to Kinsey who is yet to be poroperly refuted...

I should interject at this point that, during my time mowing over the CDC research records and associated epidemiological and sociological journals at WSU, I never encountered a peer-reviewed study that agreed with Kinsey's figures.

- N

I was "only into women" before I transitioned, but that's kind of a lie.  I was in a situation where I couldn't really explore that stuff.  I messed around with guys a couple of times, but was intensely uncomfortable being made to feel like a girl.  I stuck to dating women because it was easier to feel like was in the male role, or something like that.

However, I can't deny I was often attracted to men in those days.  During one drunken experience I told this boy, "honey, you're as pretty as ANY GIRL..." lol lol lol.

Now that I'm presenting as male, although I'm still pre-t, I feel WAY more comfortable with my sexuality, because I can think of it as a guys sexuality. One week, I'll be all about the dudes and fantasise about gay sex endlessly.  Then suddenly, I'll be like, hey I miss boobs, and start thinking about girls. I'm really interested to see what happens post T.

Quote from: Robertina on July 16, 2010, 11:51:28 AM
I don't think that T will change your sexual orientation

I completely disagree. For most of us, it just seems to lower our inhibitions, but I know a guy who was completely straight pre-T. He was in a long term relationship with a girl and everything. Then he started T and just wasn't attracted to women anymore and is now gay.

I really hope my sexual orientation doesn't change once I start T.  It's already having a heavy leaning towards girls (bio or not, preferably not) right now and I used to be only attracted to guys, albeit very feminine guys.  Just over the years I seem to have grown more comfortable with myself so that's what I put it towards.

I feel like my sexual orientation is just changing naturally as I get older.  Or less that it's changing, more that I find out more about what I'm into.