Over in my coming out thread I started asking about therapy, but I want to keep it seperate from coming out. Is it a good idea to see a regular therapist? I ask for 2 reasons: 1. I have a few non-trans issues 2. Asking my mom to take me to a gender therapist will force me to out myself, and I'm not ready to tell her yet

I totally understand this.  I been seeing a "regular" therapist and never actually saw a gender one before because I don't identify myself as trans anything.  The thing is... if you end up with a therapist like mine, you would have to put up with his "normal" questions and comments if you know what I mean.  Basically they will try to change your mind   When it's all about MIND OVER BODY. 
By the way are you saying that the source of how you feel now could be possibly related to something that has nothing to do with transsexualism?

Personally my advice would be to AVOID AT ALL COSTS going to any therapist who is not trained in gender work. Its actually pretty darned important. Seriously, please don't do it.

There are still some ignorant jerks out there who think they can be first the one to "cure" a trans person and they will waste your time and money whilst you get ever more frustrated and no closer to getting some real help.

Please don't go there. I've been through an early form of reparative therapy. It is PURE HELL and it leaves you more screwed up than you were when you started, Personally I would say if you can't go to a gender therapist then don't go at all, cos at least that way you will only have your own problems to deal with rather than some load of conflicts and guilt trips that your therapist has tried to induce in the hope of curing you.

I would also say that if you are asking for help it is usually best to do so in a spirit of honesty, namely telling people what the true issue is. That way you get to see the right people and those around you know what you are struggling with.

Unless there is a danger of physical violence or some other strong adverse reaction like that I really do seriously disapprove of this trying to have your cake and eat it approach of trying to get therapy without disclosing the nature of the problem.

However having said all that, this is just my opinion and you must ultimately do what YOU think best.

I think it depends on your situation.  I'd love a Gender Therapist, but I'm unable to go to one because of restrictions on my insurance-though I might be able to be referred out of the military system and to a gender therapist, if I'm lucky.  But I already go to a psychologist and a psychiatrist for non-trans issues so I'm more comfortable speaking to them because I've built up a relationship with them.

Whatever you decide, I wish you luck!

My therapist isn't a "gender therapist" per se, from the way I read her credentials, although I know of at least several other transfolk who employ her services to some degree or other.

The fact that I'm transitioning plays some role in our sessions, although my general well-being seems to be of far greater significance than trans issues.

If you, like me, have the good fortune of establishing some relationship with a therapist who can treat you as a whole human being who happens to be trans, and doesn't see your trans-ness as a "problem" to treat, then you may benefit quite a bit.

Shopping around for such a gem, however..... Well, that can be a puzzle in itself.

I want to make sure I understand what is being said here. I can ask to see a gender therapist without actually telling my mother its a gender therapist?

Any time you are dependent on your parents and wish/need to withhold certain information from them, especially important information, your level of challenge goes up.

In a case like this, it might be good to at least do some leg work and find some gender therapists (google, phone book, local resources...) and steer in the direction of a therapist who seems to make the grade.

I found mine by locating a trans support group and asking who's good.

I checked out the links on the Susan's main page and the only gender therapists in my state are pretty far away from where I live, and I can't afford to pay to drive all the way out there. Should I just visit a regular therapist or no?

Quote from: Lilly on July 21, 2010, 03:29:56 AM
I checked out the links on the Susan's main page and the only gender therapists in my state are pretty far away from where I live, and I can't afford to pay to drive all the way out there. Should I just visit a regular therapist or no?

You might want to look around before. Susans might not have all the info online. I'd look for a therapy service through an LGBT group. That's how I found my place. It never hurts to call and ask if they have experience with trans people either

I just did a google search- I found a list of nearby regular therapists, some of whom are LGBT friendly. I'm going to review and see which I want to see- I want somebody who can help me with both my trans and non-trans issues.

I'm sure a gender therapist will be able to do both. My therapist talks to me about a lot of stuff, not all of it is about my being trans. Even though I don't need a therapist other than for a letter.

Can I ask what "LGBT owned" means?