I started my new school last week, and have found it great One of the girls I hang with is really funny, nice, cute, awesome...aaand I think Im starting to like her a little more than just being friends. Which is surprising cause I havent liked anyone not to mention for a long time, but never so fast ever before I dont know if she likes me in the same way back, but she does act like it

The only problem I have is with telling her I am trans. No one knows, and I dont want anyone to know. If I told her, the word would spread for sure, and I would possibly become bullies bait at this early stage in the game! Most people havent had the time to see my true personality, as it has only been 3 days! So "whats on the inside" wouldnt save me there 

Im only in high school, in grade 11. So most relationships arent too full on serious  And if it did become something more, we both finish school at the end of next year anyway. Would it be fair to date her, kiss her, but not go far enough for her to "know" just yet...or would that be wrong? I dont want to hurt her, but I dont want to tell her I am trans until Im out of school 

Hmm... I think you could date her if you wanted to, but it might be tough without telling her. But at the same time, if you tell her, like you said, you could be in trouble.

I've never liked anyone, so truely, I have no idea. But I hope whatever you choose makes you happy! Good luck!

Get closer to her before you disclose it. If you out yourself immediately you might scare her off and she might tell everyone she knows because she won't listen long enough or care to find out the gravity of the issue.

 I think, but I may be wrong, that you are at the moment presenting as female? She probably likes you because you are a little different and nice. I would be very careful of suddenly coming out to her, 'cos she may think you are just a great chick (apologies wasn't meant to be rude just in context). So where do you want to go with the friendship? Be friends, be lesbian lovers (sorry again), or be boy and girl friends. I would suggest as an older one of the Mums (sorry Janet) to take it slowly. Learn about each other and develop the friendship.

Great chat up lines from guys. " Hi we've been friends now for at least an hour, want to F***.  " I am really into a serious relationship, I want to father our children. I will support the family; can you blow me now?"


Sorry
old and cynical

Cindy

I've never been in a situation where I liked someone who I knew, just little crushes on boys in class haha, but I say just be friends and if she throws you hints, maybe get close but take it slow and if you feel comfortable, tell her. Maybe ask her what she thinks of the issue first?

Cindy: Actually I am presenting as male I now go to this new school with a preferred male name All the kids think I am 110% boy! Its awesome! On my enrollment form I had to write down my birth gender however, but I dont actually think the teachers are taking much notice. The girl I like told the biology teacher the other day that..."there is a new boy in our class", and she just said back "yes, I know...his name is harlee" 

Quote from: harlee on July 18, 2010, 05:18:56 AM
Cindy: Actually I am presenting as male I now go to this new school with a preferred male name All the kids think I am 110% boy! Its awesome! On my enrollment form I had to write down my birth gender however, but I dont actually think the teachers are taking much notice. The girl I like told the biology teacher the other day that..."there is a new boy in our class", and she just said back "yes, I know...his name is harlee" 

omg i'm happy for you! That's amazing!! It must feel amazing. But be so careful! btw we have the same camera!! and you are so cute too <3

Quote from: andthenwekisss on July 18, 2010, 05:23:14 AM
omg i'm happy for you! That's amazing!! It must feel amazing. But be so careful! btw we have the same camera!! and you are so cute too <3

Hahaha, thanks! And it is a pretty cool camera isnt it

Yeah it's pretty nice!

Well as another of the "mums" and having kind of been there in reverse, although a very long time ago, (And yes for skeptical youngsters a few lucky ones of us oldtimers genuinely DID manage it even back in the 1960's) I'd have to say be VERY careful.

These things can easily lead to horrible misunderstandings and indeed dangerous situations. I got raped at one point during my school career, by some boys who were aware of my "difference" and who evidently thought that made it ok to abuse me.

So be safe first and foremost. Ok perhaps be friends, but unless you are VERY sure of the situation don't allow things to go too far.

Jenny x.

omg Jenny that's terrible. I'm so sorry. <3

Quote from: andthenwekisss on July 18, 2010, 05:59:52 AM
omg Jenny that's terrible. I'm so sorry. <3

I got over it... eventually. At the time I figured that it was partly my fault. I mean there really weren't that many openly trans people at school back then, and I guess they all thought I was just gay. In a kind of way it worked out for good, because the trauma of it propelled me towards being much more focused on getting SRS at the earliest opportunity. Strangely I figured that I didn't mind being with men - but just not in "that" way.

But looking back I realise now just how lucky I was that it didn't get really dangerous, so all I am saying is be careful. The world has moved on, and people are a bit better informed, but you can still get into nasty situations by being too forward and assuming too much.

Harlee, be honest AND be careful, if the two are possible.

You have ALL the time in the world to get into a relationship, however heavy, so maybe take this one easy, and give yourself time to get settled in your new school before diving in.

If it cheers you up at all, my teenage daughter was looking through some of the pre/post pictures on here with me, and thought you were the cutest boy of all 

Quote from: rejennyrated on July 18, 2010, 06:05:45 AM
I got over it... eventually. At the time I figured that it was partly my fault. I mean there really weren't that many openly trans people at school back then, and I guess they all thought I was just gay. In a kind of way it worked out for good, because the trauma of it propelled me towards being much more focused on getting SRS at the earliest opportunity. Strangely I figured that I didn't mind being with men - but just not in "that" way.

But looking back I realise now just how lucky I was that it didn't get really dangerous, so all I am saying is be careful. The world has moved on, and people are a bit better informed, but you can still get into nasty situations by being too forward and assuming too much.

I'm so scared for my safety. =/ I just have to be smart. Everyone does, trans or not.

Harlee, it is awesome you're all boy at yr new school.  I'm so jealous.  Sometimes I wish I could do that, but I'm 26 and know too many people!

As for the girl, just take it slow. It's gotta be big being at a new school and that, aside from girls. Just get to know her more, try to get an idea of what kind of person she is and how she might react.  Hang out, do stuff outside of school with other friends.   Exciting, though! Just trust your instincts, take it as it comes.

Good luck bro

Quote from: elvistears on July 18, 2010, 04:39:45 PM
Harlee, it is awesome you're all boy at yr new school.  I'm so jealous.  Sometimes I wish I could do that, but I'm 26 and know too many people!

As for the girl, just take it slow. It's gotta be big being at a new school and that, aside from girls. Just get to know her more, try to get an idea of what kind of person she is and how she might react.  Hang out, do stuff outside of school with other friends.   Exciting, though! Just trust your instincts, take it as it comes.

Good luck bro

OMG 26!? You looks like 19 or 20!

I don't think you should tell her, at least not right away.

Quote from: harlee on July 18, 2010, 05:18:56 AM
Cindy: Actually I am presenting as male I now go to this new school with a preferred male name All the kids think I am 110% boy! Its awesome! On my enrollment form I had to write down my birth gender however, but I dont actually think the teachers are taking much notice. The girl I like told the biology teacher the other day that..."there is a new boy in our class", and she just said back "yes, I know...his name is harlee" 

Hope I didn't offend you. I certainly didn't mean too . And yes you are a really good looking guy.  Wish I was 40 years younger and in your school

Cindy

I agree with cindy! You're a handsome guy!

You are a very lcuky guy. Most trnas guys have to go wiht the hwole lesbian bs and transitioning in one school ect ect or even deny it all together. Your parents letting you pass as a male is awesome! Kudos to the rents!

As for the little miss cutie you're into, LUCKY GIRL! But overall, take it slow. If you're not going to have sexy, what's it matter? Some trans guys don't let their girlfriends know for years. But then again, others are very open with it. It's all up to your personal preferences. I say get to know her, get some trust going, and just be you. Let that speak for itself. In the end, you'll know whether or not you want to trust this girl.

I just wanted to say thanks Harlee for posting this, because I have similar situation, this girl likes me but I'm not open at all about being trans, except to real close friends. So I'll take the advice given here