I came out to my parents about a month ago. My mother ignored it, like she does with everything("if I ignore it it will go away"), and my father joked it off, telling me that he's always wanted a son.
No, I wasn't happy with it, but it'd have to do.
I did request that they refer to me as Clayton, and with my male pronouns, but a month later... nothing. They weren't even correcting themselves. It was like they forgot.
A few days ago, my dad asked me why I was in such a bad mood. So I told him.
He accused me of hating my family, hating the name I was given, ect. So I did something that I've never done before. Told him that this wasn't about him. Because it's not. It's not his choice. It's mine.
Anyway, he outright refused to refer to me as male.
The next day, I was browsing these forums, and he asked me what I was doing. I didn't feel comfortable telling him what the forums were about, due to his reaction the day before. So I told him that it wasn't really his business. He proceeded to storm down the hallway, screaming about how I was a(excuse the language) "->-bleeped-<-ing bitch" and that even though he does nothing but respect me, I was rude to him.
Yeah, I laughed. I laughed hard, because.... if he refuses to respect my wishes of being referred to as male, then no, he doesn't treat me with respect, am I wrong?
I don't know... I guess there really isn't anything I can do to change his mind.

I'm going to edit this to also include issues I'm having with my best friend of 13 years.
She doesn't like the fact that I'm unhappy right now. She believes that I'm fine the way I am. That isn't really her choice, but I have this issue where I have to make people happy. And if she doesn't like the fact that I want to be a male, it makes me... I dunno, not really want to get the surgery less, but.. I'm not sure. I just don't want her to be uncomfortable around me. And I'm not sure how to talk to her about it, because neither of us are very skilled in serious talk...

Edited again because we did talk about it.
After a long rant about how she felt uncomfortable and how she thought I was being kinda selfish, she said that she felt like I was becoming a different person that was trying to kill her best friend.
I don't know what to do.

OKAY EDITED AGAIN, HEY.
So my dad watched this show, 'The Science of Gender'. I haven't seen it yet.
But when I walked into the living room, I was surprised to hear my dad say "Hey Issac" (which is my alternative name. Full name is Clayton Shane Issac).
I looked at him, and he told me that he watched this show, and he thinks he needs to change his attitude.
I told him thankyou, too speechless to say anything more, and walked away with the biggest smile on my face. C:

To be quite honest, this sounds like a situation where you need to be very calm and very persistant.

You parents are clearly seeing this as a phase. Possibly done to get at them.

I strongly suggest you don't get rattled. Don't try to annoy or upset them. Just bring up the matter, whenever you can and insist, you need to do this, for your own sake.

It will probably take a while. Perhaps a couple of years. But you need to take some time and let them get use to the idea.

They didnt kick you out. That is a good sign. Only 1 month in it is not surprizing that Dad is unable to deal with it yet.
Keep in mind you have had your entire life to come to terms with this and the parental units have had all of one month.
Try and not push buttons but stay resolved to be YOU. Not some mask they would prefer.

TBH, I'm rather cynical about the possibility of changing how one's parents see one, even if they are "accepting". But try to be calm and rational. If you are sure, stand your ground.

Thankyou all. c:
Perhaps I'll try and talk to them about it soon..

Quote from: ZukieThePharaoh on July 19, 2010, 09:08:22 AM
I came out to my parents about a month ago. My mother ignored it, like she does with everything("if I ignore it it will go away"), and my father joked it off, telling me that he's always wanted a son.
No, I wasn't happy with it, but it'd have to do.
I did request that they refer to me as Clayton, and with my male pronouns, but a month later... nothing. They weren't even correcting themselves. It was like they forgot.
A few days ago, my dad asked me why I was in such a bad mood. So I told him.
He accused me of hating my family, hating the name I was given, ect. So I did something that I've never done before. Told him that this wasn't about him. Because it's not. It's not his choice. It's mine.
Anyway, he outright refused to refer to me as male.
The next day, I was browsing these forums, and he asked me what I was doing. I didn't feel comfortable telling him what the forums were about, due to his reaction the day before. So I told him that it wasn't really his business. He proceeded to storm down the hallway, screaming about how I was a(excuse the language) "->-bleeped-<-ing bitch" and that even though he does nothing but respect me, I was rude to him.
Yeah, I laughed. I laughed hard, because.... if he refuses to respect my wishes of being referred to as male, then no, he doesn't treat me with respect, am I wrong?
I don't know... I guess there really isn't anything I can do to change his mind.

I'm going to edit this to also include issues I'm having with my best friend of 13 years.
She doesn't like the fact that I'm unhappy right now. She believes that I'm fine the way I am. That isn't really her choice, but I have this issue where I have to make people happy. And if she doesn't like the fact that I want to be a male, it makes me... I dunno, not really want to get the surgery less, but.. I'm not sure. I just don't want her to be uncomfortable around me. And I'm not sure how to talk to her about it, because neither of us are very skilled in serious talk...

Edited again because we did talk about it.
After a long rant about how she felt uncomfortable and how she thought I was being kinda selfish, she said that she felt like I was becoming a different person that was trying to kill her best friend.
I don't know what to do.

Its all in the way you tell your parents, you probably made the mistake everyone else does and walk up to them and say "Mom, Dad I wanna be <insert sex here>".  Yeah, any parent would be stunned and think your crazy.  The trick is to show them that you have always been this way, and its not going away, ask for help and therapy, and dont force them to conform right away, give them time, its a lot to see the one you raised change before your eyes, you cannot expect the rest of the world to change just because you do. 

What you should do is sit with them calmly and go over your life since you were little, bring out details of how you felt along the way, what you did (especially if they saw it), show them this is not a whim or a phase but something you had all your life.  Next ask for a therapist to help you sort things out, they will most likely agree, if the therapist diagnoses you with GID then you have them on your side as well telling your parents.  Parents also have an easier time when you present it as a birth defect rather then a choice, get documentation supporting your position showing that certain factors cause TS, and that you cannot help it.  Tell your dad imagine if he had lost mr. johnson in the war, he would feel less of a man wouldnt he? but he would still be a man, well you feel the same way.  Try to have them reflect on what it feels like to be you.

Let me give you some background, my parents were born in the USSR (not russia as you know it now) under Stalin.  My dad has a tattoo from a german concentration camp because he was captured when they invaded when he was 4.    These are olde school parents, after i used this method, they accepted me.  My father and mom still refer to me as HE, but only because they dont have regular contact and its only been recent that they found out, but they do hug me and say they love me, and they know i am who i am now, even they can see how happy I am, they cannot deny that.  In time they will call me she, it will just take time, my mom is already doing it.

As for your friend, she is right, she is watching her best friend change and disappear before her eyes, because the life you live now isn't life, its an act, and you acted rather well, you convinced everyone but yourself, so the person you are now was never real and will disappear, she is just a mechanism you invented to cope with the world around you.  Eventually the stress will be too much of full time acting day in and day out and you will have to quit the role.  Your friend will feel she is losing a friend and yes she is.  The only thing you can tell her is that you intend to transition, if she still wants to be your friend she can, but if she doesnt, give her her space and leave it alone.  If someone doesnt want anything to do with you, dont waste energy changing their minds, you need all you can get for the road ahead, and new friends will come that see you as HE without question or even effort. 

Transitioning isnt for wimps, its a lot of work, and a lot of pain.  I wish you luck.  ^_^b

Bump for update?

In my personal experience, sometimes people just need time to come around.

I told my mother that I was trans when I was fourteen. There was no doubt that she already knew to some degree-for fourteen years previous, she was perplexed by the fact that I "wanted to be a boy". Initially, she was very upset with me. She had the impression that I just wanted to be as different as possible, even though that was the last thing that I would have ever wanted. She said she hated it, and she wished I could learn to be happy with myself the way that I was.

I'm in my twenties, now, and she becomes furious if anyone implies that I'm somehow a girl, even members of our extended family. She's even excited to see the changes in my hormones-genuinely excited like I'm taking my first steps or something.

I don't think I can offer any suggestions as far as friends go, though. I've always been 'out' at school-since preschool, everyone has known that that was the way I am. Of course, people didn't respect that, but no one had ever known me any other way. I had friends in high school who didn't really understand that I was not a lesbian or anything like that, but I really haven't kept in touch with anyone from those days. I have run into a few of them on the street, and there is no glimmer of recognition in their face-that feels kind of cool. I have one friend from high school that I still talk to, and he's always known me as male and considered me as such.

Quote from: ZukieThePharaoh on July 19, 2010, 09:08:22 AM
OKAY EDITED AGAIN, HEY.
So my dad watched this show, 'The Science of Gender'. I haven't seen it yet.
But when I walked into the living room, I was surprised to hear my dad say "Hey Issac" (which is my alternative name. Full name is Clayton Shane Issac).
I looked at him, and he told me that he watched this show, and he thinks he needs to change his attitude.
I told him thankyou, too speechless to say anything more, and walked away with the biggest smile on my face. C:

Thats great 

Quote from: ZukieThePharaoh on July 19, 2010, 09:08:22 AM


OKAY EDITED AGAIN, HEY.
So my dad watched this show, 'The Science of Gender'. I haven't seen it yet.
But when I walked into the living room, I was surprised to hear my dad say "Hey Issac" (which is my alternative name. Full name is Clayton Shane Issac).
I looked at him, and he told me that he watched this show, and he thinks he needs to change his attitude.
I told him thankyou, too speechless to say anything more, and walked away with the biggest smile on my face. C:

OK. so this is good news by any standard. Your dad has moved forward.

But I am always amazed that people seem to think it's perfectly OK to look down at others, on any issue, dismiss them, ignore them, treat them like idiots. But then, suddenly, they get a reference from some expert and their entire attitudes change.

My little rant.

I am really, really pleased your dad has started to see some sense.

Quote from: spacial on August 11, 2010, 04:33:23 AM
OK. so this is good news by any standard. Your dad has moved forward.

But I am always amazed that people seem to think it's perfectly OK to look down at others, on any issue, dismiss them, ignore them, treat them like idiots. But then, suddenly, they get a reference from some expert and their entire attitudes change.

My little rant.

I am really, really pleased your dad has started to see some sense.

Oh yeah, my dad's always been like that. I am not a credible source. Neither is the internet.

But yeah, I'm really happy about it. C:

Still, any road that lead to home.

Now, at least, you can expect to be taken a little more seriously instead of just being dismissed as going through a childish phase.