Quote from: madisonp on July 18, 2010, 10:05:38 PM
So, I've been asking a lot of questions recently...
But I'm young, so I guess thats a good thing right?
So, I haven't come out to anybody yet (technically, because I told my parents but in a "beating around the bush" sort of way, so I guess thats why they've shoved it under the proverbial rug.)
I felt I was ready to really full on tell my parents, but then the question rose: Won't it be awkward? My father always calls me things like "son" and "pal," and my family does all these little things that just make me feel worse and worse about who I am... without even knowing it.
Also, what will the rest of my family think? Won't transitioning completely ruin my relationships with them? (Well, I have some open minded cousins who I'm close too) But my grandparents are the ones I worry about the most, a) because my grandmother (dad's side) is very closed minded, b) because my grandparents (Mom's side) are also closed minded but not only that, they don't speak a word of english, also, and while I know my way around the Italian language, there's no way I can articulate to them what I'm feeling inside without them completely misunderstanding me.
(<-- Notice how I use apathy and comedy as an unnecessary defense mechanism)
Anyways, is this a phase? (Not the transexualism (that's pretty much been figured out), I mean the worrying)
Thanks so much everyone
Maddie
Its all in the way you tell your parents, you probably made the mistake everyone else does and walk up to them and say "Mom, Dad I wanna be <insert sex here>". Yeah, any parent would be stunned and think your crazy. The trick is to show them that you have always been this way, and its not going away, ask for help and therapy, and dont force them to conform right away, give them time, its a lot to see the one you raised change before your eyes, you cannot expect the rest of the world to change just because you do.
What you should do is sit with them calmly and go over your life since you were little, bring out details of how you felt along the way, what you did (especially if they saw it), show them this is not a whim or a phase but something you had all your life. Next ask for a therapist to help you sort things out, they will most likely agree, if the therapist diagnoses you with GID then you have them on your side as well telling your parents. Parents also have an easier time when you present it as a birth defect rather then a choice, get documentation supporting your position showing that certain factors cause TS, and that you cannot help it 1/20000 is born with it they say. Tell your mom imagine if she had both breasts and uterus removed due to cancer, she would still feel a woman, but less of one as well, wouldnt you want to do something to fix it? well thats how you feel every time you look in the mirror. Try to have them reflect on what it feels like to be you.
Let me give you some background, my parents were born in the USSR (not russia as you know it now) under Stalin. My dad has a tattoo from a german concentration camp because he was captured when they invaded when he was 4. These are olde school parents, after i used this method, they accepted me. My father and mom still refer to me as HE, but only because they dont have regular contact and its only been recent that they found out, but they do hug me and say they love me, and they know i am who i am now, even they can see how happy I am, they cannot deny that. In time they will call me she, it will just take time, my mom is already doing it.
