Hi, so some of you may know that I recently went to renew my driver's license, with my new name and look.

I got the license back today, and I'm not really feeling that great about it. First of all, it still says 'M' so that's not good when I'm trying to go full time, since you can't change that where I live unless you have had the surgery. So I'm worried someone may give me a hard time because of that letter on my ID.

And, now that my name is changed and my license has a picture of a woman on it, I guess that's who I am now....not much turning back. I'm just not sure I'm ready for this....I mean, of course I have always wanted to be a girl, I was so uncomfortable and depressed when I started getting facial hair, when my voice dropped, etc. I feel I missed out on so much and don't fit in anywhere.

Eventually, I will have to come out at work and go 100% full time, especially if all my info is changing. And that scares me, especially since I have some passing issues, in my mind.

Getting my documents changed will of course speed up my transition, and I don't want more time wasted as me not being happy. If I put this off any longer I will probably screw myself somehow.

Any thoughts?

Chrissi

yeah...
hurray!
I got an M on my ID and Cynthia as the name. No one looks at the sex on an ID. They look at name and birthday if they actually look at it instead of just glancing and pretending to do their job.

Well...

After a legal name change you have 30 days, I believe, to change it with the SS office and your bank/credit cards/employer/etc. So there really is no hiding for you at this point. If you change with SS but not your employer, they will receive a letter from the government about a mismatch and potential ID theft/fraud eventually.

It's not just the ID issue, but not sure if I'm making the right choices. Is there any way one can transition too fast? But the sooner the better is the general concensus, right? But waiting doesn't really get you anywhere, the clock it ticking....

Chrissi

Sometimes it seems that your transition is out of control, but in reality it is moving at the pace you set.

Most people look at three things on ID.  Has it expired?  Does the person presenting the one pictured?  What is their birth date?  The rest means nothing to most people.

Congrats on the new ID.

That is so great
Kellie

If you're worried about people seeing an "M" on your license, don't be.

Remember that you are transitioning to make yourself more comfortable in your own skin.  If the process of transition itself is making you uncomfortable, you have the right to speed it up or slow it down to fit your own needs.  Don't be worried about what others think though, your life is is YOURS to live.

But licenses where I live have the birthdate pretty much RIGHT NEXT to the sex, of course. And, now that I have changed my license, this means I need to get going on full time, right? And that's a really scary thought as of right now.....

Chrissi

Icephoenyx, you're a brave woman. I know it's hard to take that social and emotional risk because of the mismatch between your gender and the one on paper. We girls too need to throw ourselves into the fray and hopefully come out on the other side more confident and that's what I personally am doing more and more.

I was in the same boat as you recently. I am full time and was written a letter by my social worker to get the m on my license. It was denied because on the dmv site it said psychologist, psychiatrist, or doctor, and even though an lcsw letter was acceptable the people at the dmv took the rule literally. I asked my psychiatrist if he could write the letter but said no because me having male on my license would "be a lie". I felt so screwed. I felt my female license might as well have had my old name on it because people called me she even thouhgh my name is Kyle. My female license did cause problems. My college's record put me down as mr. kyle but then saw my license and changed it to ms kyle. I did try the dmv again though and I got the m, and I was estatic. They changed me back to Mr Kyle at school too. It is worth the trouble. It is really scary having the stupid mocking letter on your license, but do the best you can. If you look like a girl, walk like a girl, have a girls name but someone calls you a man solely because of your license, remember they are ->-bleeped-<-s who lack the common sense that who you present yourself means a hell lot more than a stupid "M".

QuoteI asked my psychiatrist if he could write the letter but said no because me having male on my license would "be a lie".

I would have stopped seeing him. Did you?

Quote from: Summerfall on July 30, 2010, 12:03:58 AM
I would have stopped seeing him. Did you?

I am still seeing him because i need someone to describe my anti depressants. He's not a jerk at all he's just uneducated. So I'm going to try to educate him.

Quote from: Kyle XD on July 30, 2010, 12:05:56 AM
I am still seeing him because i need someone to describe my anti depressants. He's not a jerk at all he's just uneducated. So I'm going to try to educate him.

That makes sense. It's cool that you're so positive about it.