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One day i'd like to start a family...

Started by Jam, July 20, 2010, 12:06:23 PM

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Jam


(I think this is ok in this section, didn't really know where to put it.)

Would you? i worry about my options sometimes. 
Can you have your eggs frozen?
How do the UK adoption service feel about trans people?
Do you get equal rights to a child say if your partner uses sperm donation?

so many questions....i often worry that being trans might be held against me in a lot of situations.
Just looking for some info anyone might have or experiences.
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Izumi

Quote from: Thomas on July 20, 2010, 12:06:23 PM
(I think this is ok in this section, didn't really know where to put it.)

Would you? i worry about my options sometimes. 
Can you have your eggs frozen?
How do the UK adoption service feel about trans people?
Do you get equal rights to a child say if your partner uses sperm donation?

so many questions....i often worry that being trans might be held against me in a lot of situations.
Just looking for some info anyone might have or experiences.

My fiance wants to adopt in 5 years after we are settled and stable in our lives, in which time i am quitting my job and being a full time mom, its our decision together.  I cant have his kids, so this is the only option, but if you dont want to carry the child you might think about that as well.
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Danacee

Its been a difficult 'problem' to try and figure out. I spent allot of my teen years babysitting toddlers and to this day I'm very good with kids, enough to the point that everyone gives me an earful for not being a mother yet. Deep down inside like many women I feel that deep biological need to become one as well. However my husband and I do not wish to adopt. He's not really a kid person and I've already voluntary taken enough financial and emotional abuse from the 'system' for one life. Perhaps if it was 50 years ago long before the movement of open adoption and gouging, but then again if it was 50 years ago I doubt I would have made it this far.
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Britney♥Bieber

I plan on adopting whenever I end up getting married, hopefully I get married. :)

Jam

I hope they wont hold me being trans against me. I was also hoping perhaps i wouldnt have to bring it up. Im not sure on marriage, kinda put off by my parents but i know a fair few girls dream about it  :-\
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Nathan.

#5
I hope adoption in the UK is trans friendly too.  :-\ I'm not 100% sure I want kids but right now i'm thinking that I do. Don't want to get married though.
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Jam

You know im not sure how they see it....as in if im trans with a girl so will they class that as a straight relationship?....does the trans part even come into it?

I know that gay couples are allowed to adopt here but i think (could be wrong) it is a lot harder for them.
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geniebot

Quote from: Thomas on July 20, 2010, 12:06:23 PMHow do the UK adoption service feel about trans people?

This was on television last night ...
QuoteCutting Edge goes behind the headlines to intimately portray how gay millionaires Tony and Barrie Drewitt-Barlow's determination to have more children has affected them and their kids
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/my-weird-wonderful-family
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rejennyrated

Thomas

loads of trans people have been where you are in the UK, even my partner Alison and I.

The bottom line is that it is most certainly possible to do here.

The biggest issue will not be that you are trans, it is simply the limited supply of suitable children.
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Izumi

Quote from: Thomas on July 22, 2010, 08:20:31 AM
You know im not sure how they see it....as in if im trans with a girl so will they class that as a straight relationship?....does the trans part even come into it?

I know that gay couples are allowed to adopt here but i think (could be wrong) it is a lot harder for them.

If your legal one sex and they are the other, your straight.  If both are the same, your gay/lesbian.
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Jam

Thats good to know, i also heard that my friends therapist today asked if he was interested in in freezing his eggs, so that is an option. She did say however that its expensive but didnt mention a price. I guess i will talk to my therapist as soon as i get into Leeds GIC
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MsFierce

I plan to adopt a baby, i really wanna be a mom.
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Keroppi

Quote from: Thomas on July 26, 2010, 05:18:26 PM
Thats good to know, i also heard that my friends therapist today asked if he was interested in in freezing his eggs, so that is an option. She did say however that its expensive but didnt mention a price. I guess i will talk to my therapist as soon as i get into Leeds GIC
Looking at a couple of sites in London. £2000 - £3000 for eggs freezing. And then there's the cost of IVF (or whatever it is that is done) itself later on at similar figures.
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Jam

Quote from: Keroppi on July 27, 2010, 07:50:09 PM
Looking at a couple of sites in London. £2000 - £3000 for eggs freezing. And then there's the cost of IVF (or whatever it is that is done) itself later on at similar figures.

....... :o guess that wont be happening then...

Nevermind my genes arent the greatest anyways
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Suigeniris

hey all I have  BEAUTIFUL daughter and I have adopted , I adopted as a single parent they were also  aware that I was trans , of course I was fully prepared ,parenting classes ,home study ,  every single detail from the age of 15 , whenever the requested something I was always 2 steps ahead :"))) ........BEING A MOM IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING :"))
Dreams are illustrations...from the book your
soul is writing about yourself....



[color=yello
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Meepit

You might want to research the processes involved in egg-preserving as well (it's not too pretty!). Also, the success of frozen eggs aren't guaranteed. I can't remember where I saw this, but you can have more success if you preserved ovarian tissue because it can be transplanted into someone at a later date and the eggs can be harvested. This process is debated to have a higher success rate than freezing eggs and keeps them in decent condition (as one ages, the quality of the eggs begin to deteriorate). I really wish I could remember where I got this from so I could link you, maybe I'll look it up in a bit and get back to you. However, this would require you to remove your ovary/ovaries so if you hadn't planned on doing that you might want to stick with egg freezing.

On another note, scientists have been trying to make sperm from female bone marrow. Though I'm not sure if they've been completely successful yet (conflicting articles), it's definitely something to look forward to! However, if you have XX chromosomes and use this method, your children will all be female. Check it out: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-511391/Death-father-British-scientists-discover-turn-womens-bone-marrow-sperm.html
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lilacwoman

In UK a TS who does the RLE and gets a GRC and BC is legally a female and so there is no reason why she cannot marry a guy or have a civil service with a man or woman and form a family and logically there is no reason why the two cannot then adopt.  There are lots of accounts of TS who have done just that so it can be done.
While the UK NHS is supposed to provide for the needs of its citizens in many situations there are little Hitlers running local bits of the NHS who refuse to provide this or that service.  Threats of legal action or appeals to politicians sometiems help.
However I have a long time TS actually Klinefelters in a long term stable relationship with a non-op who constantly gets turned down for adopting or fostering even though she coudl offer the child a wonderful life.  The reason being that the bigots and fools at the adoption service claim she is unsuitable due to the nature of her partner.
But the same service allow lesbians and gay men adopt children.
At the moment she is considering making a legal claim against the service but knows that if she does then they will deliberately lose her papers etc etc.
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lpfix2009

Quote from: Thomas on July 20, 2010, 12:06:23 PM
(I think this is ok in this section, didn't really know where to put it.)

Would you? i worry about my options sometimes. 
Can you have your eggs frozen?
How do the UK adoption service feel about trans people?
Do you get equal rights to a child say if your partner uses sperm donation?

so many questions....i often worry that being trans might be held against me in a lot of situations.
Just looking for some info anyone might have or experiences.

Although this is a FTM question, as a MTF, i had my sperm frozen then I told them to trash it.. i decided I rather adopt.
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