I passed at the gym.. Well, for a little while..
I go with my mom.. My family always outs me.(my own fault)

So this older lady, id say around 30/40, kinda with the milf attitude.. Had been watching me work out, this is like the 2nd or 3rd time she's been there while I was.. She sees me ask my mom something, idk if she hears me though.. Then my mom goes by her &the lady asks her "how old is your son?", mind you she has a son of her own I think she said he was 11.
I hear the whole conversation, my mom says "my daughter?"..
Ugh, facepalm.
I passed for a quck second.

I went from being happy, to thinking fml. Glad I didn't wear shorts that day, or she would've been rly confused.

time to avoid social situations with mom outside of the home

my mom does that all the time but I try to turn the tables. I've been on T for almost 4 months and pass all the time... unless I'm out with her and she "outs" me. A few weeks ago we went shopping because she didn't want me looking a like a homeless person so she decided she would buy me "boy" clothes. (I had been wearing clothes my friends gave me because I don't have money to buy any). When we got to the register the girl checking us out asked my mom, "did HE pick out all these clothes?" and my mom said, "she." The girl just stared at me with a confused look on her face and she said, "oh... she.."   I have no problem telling people I'm trans and explaining what it is **(especially now...I live in Houston and if anyone has seen on the news about that poor trans woman who lost her husband in a farm fire and now his mother and ex wife are trying to get his money by saying his "wife" is really a man and their marriage should be annulled.... sorry another topic but I want people to understand what transsexuality is)*** so I explained to the girl that I'm trans. She thought it was so fascinating and wanted to her all about it and that pissed my mom off. I just laughed at her rage. I got free clothes and pushed her vain/ignorant buttons.

Priceless. I'm guessing you're not on T yet... but once you're more comfortable with who you are and if you don't mind educating people on transsexuality you can embarrass your mom instead of her embarrassing you.

Just think....if they still do this post-T...you can screw with people's heads even more. I enjoy this immensely. I don't like outting myself and I don't out myself at will but the only sick enjoyment I get from the unfortunate fact that my name isnt' changed yet is that people get this odd look and most look like they've just been butt f***** without their permission when they see my ID. Then they usually avoid pronouns or using any name at all costs for the rest of the conversation. Even on the phone. The phone is becoming an issue though. People genuinely don't think I'm me. Which is fine. But sucks when it comes to things like Paypal...bank accounts...etc...

That's why I don't go to the ice cream shop my sister works at anymore. I'm known as "her sister" by her coworkers and since I'm full time thats not something I can tolerate.

I'm thankful that my mom tends to go with whatever somebody else is saying to make the situation less uncomfortable for the other person. I remember going shopping for a tux for prom and the guy that does sizing called me a young man. My mom just went along with it and when we left she said something about it to me. My youngest brother is pretty much the same, too. We went to a fast food joint and he ran into some kids from school who said "hey, Kevin, hey Kevin's bro." He just mumbled "not my brother."

That situation isn't great but at least you passed. You could tell your mom to just play along with whatever other people call you.

Quote from: cynthialee on July 22, 2010, 01:47:54 PM
time to avoid social situations with mom outside of the home

I wish I could.


And no T for me yet, but I look pretty male. Just short &the voice, so I look like a boy. Either way, my parents still confuse ppl. Esp when im in shorts, now that I stopped shaving.
Ehh, im glad im not the only one though.

Nygeel, I don't think my mom would go for that :/

I was outted earlier this week, we were at a restaurant and my partner referred to me as "she" to the waitress. She avoided eye contact with me for the rest of the meal; needless to say it was a very uncomfortable dinner. He says he just "forgets" because he's used to knowing me as female, but I've been out and full time for over a year, and wasn't very feminine before that either. All I can do is keep correcting him till he gets it right.

Im sorry to hear that.
Its things like this that make me not even want to try.
Cause there are ppl in this world that just won't get it, ppl we love &care about &don't want to lose.. But what can we do, respect us or leave right. Or just put up with it.

Quote from: Hurtfulsplash on July 22, 2010, 09:37:53 PM
I was outted earlier this week, we were at a restaurant and my partner referred to me as "she" to the waitress. She avoided eye contact with me for the rest of the meal; needless to say it was a very uncomfortable dinner. He says he just "forgets" because he's used to knowing me as female, but I've been out and full time for over a year, and wasn't very feminine before that either. All I can do is keep correcting him till he gets it right.

It seems like you guys really need to talk because he probably isnt truly aware that he is putting you in an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation. I definetely would not stay with someone who kept calling me a she over a year later.

Oh, we've talked about it, but I understand his reasoning, I guess it's hard for him to accept and to get used to. I can't leave at this time, but we've overcome hurdles before and I'm sure we'll get over this one.

 All I can do is keep correcting him till he gets it right.
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All I would do is dump him as he obviously isn't happy with your transition and may get even lesss accepting.

He's a good man, I've put him through a lot by telling him who I am, and he can handle it, he'll never hurt me, and like I said I can't leave just now.

Seconding it's time to avoid social situations with family.

Despite my folks being cool, I had to avoid going out with them for a while pre-T. There was an awkward time where they still saw me as not passing, while I was passing to most strangers.

They didn't feel comfortable / couldn't get their head around using the right pronouns when they were convinced I still looked like a girl to other people. I couldn't keep my temper in check when I was outed by people I really didn't want to be angry at.

At the time, they were also still quite emotionally raw from my coming out.

Eventually we had a little chat and came to the conclusion that for the time it'd be best just to refer to me in a neutral manner ("this is my kid" or "they") until the other party gave us a clue how they'd read me (and then run with that).

Worked well. Eventually they started using the right pronouns and all that on their own - especially once I went on T, my voice broke, and I've started growing an unmistakably male amount of facial hair Now they're keeping each other in check and trying really hard to get everything right - 'cause they've admitted that now they'll look silly if they slip up!

Quote from: Teknoir on July 25, 2010, 04:36:41 AM
Eventually we had a little chat and came to the conclusion that for the time it'd be best just to refer to me in a neutral manner ("this is my kid" or "they") until the other party gave us a clue how they'd read me (and then run with that).

Worked well. Eventually they started using the right pronouns and all that on their own - especially once I went on T, my voice broke, and I've started growing an unmistakably male amount of facial hair Now they're keeping each other in check and trying really hard to get everything right - 'cause they've admitted that now they'll look silly if they slip up!

This sounds like a plan, esp the being on T part &them looking silly.