Okay. So I really like my gender therapist. Last time I was with her, I brought up transition. Her response to me is... Not to transition anytime soon while i'm in the mental state i am in. I've been seeing her for awhile, she understands me accurately.
  I kind of believe transition could ease my issues, and help me start picking myself up.
But she says I need to pick myself up first before transition is an option.
I agree with her, but I wanted opinions. It seems so hopeless, i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Anyone been through the same with their therapist and what did it take for you to know that you were ready? I'm 20 years old, I want to start while i'm young.

I'm only a few years older than you but I'm in somewhat of the same boat. Really I think being transgendered is always going to be stressful, and induce some distress. Perhaps just to make small changes and see if it improves how you feel and see yourself, your still young and have lots of time to figure things out. Maybe if the small changes feel right you can look at other things yah?

That's interesting. My therapist feels like transitioning has been one of the best things for me mentally, that it has actually helped the other problems I deal with, like how you were saying.

Of course, this is after some time dealing with the other stuff on its own and making progress. I'm not sure how she would feel if things were back at my very lowest.

QuoteReally I think being transgendered is always going to be stressful, and induce some distress. Perhaps just to make small changes and see if it improves how you feel and see yourself

This sounds like a really good idea.

Don't know, I don't know you. If your therapist does, maybe she's right.

Personally, almost all of my issues are from the GID (anxiety, depression, etc.) So transitioning is a way for me to solve them. If that's not your case, maybe you should work on them first.

Given the stressful and confusing nature of the process, I would take your counselor's caution quite seriously.  I suggest forming, with her, a deliberate plan to get yourself ready for transition.

- N

I can certainly identify...

  I had a "transition backlash" of sorts...  I started on my own and didn't even tell my first therapist that I was Trans... When I finally came out I had already been on hormones for 2 1/2 years so my new therapist and I had to do some backpedaling for awhile... About 6 months into living full time I had a serious breakdown and wound up inpatient at the local mental hospital. There was so much that I put aside because I wanted transition so badly and it hit me all at once.... I became very depressed and suicidal.  I can't say that I would have delayed transition or that I regret starting before talking to my therapist but things would probably have gone more smoothly if I had taken my time.

  Don't forget that just seeing a gender therapist is a HUGE step... She's being cautious because transition is an incredibly big deal... the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. Sometimes it's so amazing that you'll just break down and cry because you're so happy but there will be times when you think that you just can't go on..... you have to be ready for that.

  A suggestion for speeding things along, though? Get educated! Study the WPATH Standards of Care so that you know them better than your therapist. Tell her about all that you've learned about the effects (and side effects) of hormones. Demonstrate that you've done the research and are aware of the legal aspects of transition in your area. She's looking for you to be quite informed and at least making progress with your other issues before she'll feel comfortable with you starting. You can start working on your voice and mannerisms, too, and start to change them when you speak with her... tell her that you're working on them.
  Something that would be worth your mentioning now, though, is asking her to consider your starting antiandrogens (or antiestrogens, U didn't identify yourself as MTF or FTM) If you've been in therapy consistently for at least 3 months and feel as if you're making progress with your other issues, I think it's worth pushing for a letter to authorize medication to at least suppress the hormones your body is producing now. They won't make drastic changes but at least they'll stop any more "damage." One could rationalize that just knowing that "damage" is occurring is making you more depressed and anxious.   

  Well good luck and keep us informed, K?