I just had to rant a bit about this ...

So, I go to a higher end hair salon here in the Seattle Tacoma area.   My usual stylist called in sick and someone picked me up so I didn't have to reschedule my appointment.

Everything is going great... And the stylist asks "So have you seen any movies lately?"  I tell her about how I had just seen Salt and enjoyed it and how I thought Inception was an interesting movie.   They she says "You know what movie I saw when I visited my parents last weekend ... Too foo .. er.. Uhm I forgot the name ... it has Patrick Swayze in it ..."

I was stunned for a few seconds and said "To Wong Fu?" ... to which she replied "YES!  That's it!   I liked the ending when she said 'I knew the whole time!' ... " 

Really?   So you're cutting the hair of a Transexual who is presenting to the world they are female, and the movie that comes to your mind is THAT one?   

Ok ... so here's my soapbox rant:
I don't care if someone knows or reads me as a male.  I try really hard to present as a woman and have bad self image issues as it is, though.  I have a crappy hairline and fine hair, so honestly, I sort of expect a hair stylist to know that I'm not a female.   I've never been very good at passing when getting my hair done ... it just doesn't work for me ...

But for the love of the Gods, don't start talking to me about esoteric Drag Queen movies and drop hints that you know I'm really a male.   I've known lots of Drag Queens in my life who were wonderful people, but I am NOT one of them! 

*Phew* ... Ok ... that's off my chest ... back to your regularly scheduled programming.

   I am in your corner on that issue.  Just accept us and let it go.  We don't want to know that you know.

I wonder if she was trying in some weird way to show acceptance or relate to you. Some people really don't realize the difference between us and other GLBTs.
But I don't remember the significance of the last scene of the movie, so I don't know there.

That's the only reason I didn't get snippity with her.

I figured she was trying to connect in some way ...   Maybe if she does it a 2nd time I'll educate her a bit a about the difference between a Drag Queen and a Transsexual.

It just stunned me for a moment during the whole conversation.   Owell.   I've moved on now that I got to vent a bit about it.

It's amazing how tactless some people can be. I'm sorry you had to sit through that. 

It sounds like she didn't mean harm by that.  =)  It's good that you're willing to help her understand the difference if she brings it up next time.  It's also possible she just enjoyed the movie and really liked the ending and wasn't talking about anything relating to you.

I think some people are just uncouth and trying to be clever. 

I would have said 'Dirty Dancing' though if asked that question about a Patrick Swayse movie.
I haven't seen the other one but I've seen Priscilla which was similar from what I've heard.

I would never make it easy for them (nosy types), lol. Let 'em squirm. 

Once you see one Drag Queen Road Trip movie... you've seen them all ..

reminds me of this:

Sounds like she was being obtuse and somewhat rude, although she might have thought she was making a genuine attempt at a connection. I would have felt the same way you did.

Since she said she saw it with her parents that last weekend (which wouldn't be that long ago) it might have just been coincidence. If not I don't think she meant to be rude. She's probably just uneducated on the matters (as many are) and didn't know how to approach the subject.

When I got my hair cut one time, I made sure I got a magazine and flipped to a guy with the hairstyle I wanted and said "I want my hair cut like HIS" and when she was almost done she asked me if I wanted the sideburn looking things cut off and I said "No" so she left them there.

Quote from: Radar on September 14, 2010, 07:49:30 AM
Since she said she saw it with her parents that last weekend (which wouldn't be that long ago) it might have just been coincidence. If not I don't think she meant to be rude. She's probably just uneducated on the matters (as many are) and didn't know how to approach the subject.

Yes, I have to agree with this.  Some people just have no tact or class.  They mean well, but they really don't know any better.  I wasn't there, so I really cannot say for sure, but to me, it seems she was trying to connect and to understand in her own way.  That's a good thing, really.  At least she wasn't mocking you or hating you, at least I hope she wasn't.  To everyday, ordinary people, transsexuals (transpeople, whatever) are REALLY far-out.  Whenever they try to truly connect or understand, no matter how awkward the attempt, I have to think that's a good thing. 

@ Muffin:  Great vid.  I've always liked Calpernia.  Don't know why; I just do. 

I've seen her a 2nd time since this post.   She was a lot more sensitive this time around.   We talked and chatted about some of my challenges with thinner hair than I would like.

My colorist, that I used for the first time, used male pronouns and treated me like I was "Short Bus" Special.    

Quote from: Epigania on October 17, 2010, 10:59:39 PMMy colorist, that I used for the first time, used male pronouns and treated me like I was "Short Bus" Special.

You may need a new colourist. People who have that attitude usually won't change anytime soon if ever. Best to just avoid those people when you can.

You should of told her "that's an old movie, if you've just seen then you really need to get out more"