Well I'm a resident assistant in a dorm, so the situation is a bit weirder than that. I live with 40 people whom I will become quite close with, and work with 30 other people who also live in the same building and are all my friends. After winter break, and two weeks ost-op, they're going to wonder why I'm refusing a bear hug, they'll be curious why I can't carry my own bags up to my room, they'll want to know why I need someone else to hang decorations up in my hallway because I might not want to stretch the scars that much, and on top of that a lot of icebreakers involve physical activity as well. If they ask what's up and I just flash them a surgeon's letter saying to refrain from strenuous physical activity, then that'll just create gossip. I love my job, but being trans can complicate things sometimes!
I kind of want to combine a couple of these...I was riding my motorcycle when it crashed, and was then abducted by aliens who experimented on me before dumping me in the ocean, where I was attacked by a shark!
But honestly I think I'll go with benign growths--it won't evoke too much sympathy, doesn't require excessive storytelling, and gets me out of physical stuff without any questions. Thanks guys!!!