ok
cool
thanxx hunn
*hug*

I'm kind of in what Helena called the bad days. It is hard to think of anything about my body that makes me feel feminine, and I hate that. I get compliments on my hair a lot, which does make me feel good. I get compliments on my makeup often and people say I look pretty (if they anything at all), but I can't help feeling like I'm trying to polish a turd.

I would have hair down to my behind or longer by now if I hadn't gotten stupid a couple of times and gotten the ends trimmed. I said trimmed, but the trim always seemed to be like a couple of inches or such. It's still substantially past my shoulders though and close to the middle of my back. Mostly straight, but with slight waves and a tendency to be completely unmanageable. Of course, that could be because I don't know what I'm doing also.

Quote from: Jamiee on August 06, 2010, 08:42:25 PM
I'm kind of in what Helena called the bad days. It is hard to think of anything about my body that makes me feel feminine, and I hate that. I get compliments on my hair a lot, which does make me feel good. I get compliments on my makeup often and people say I look pretty (if they anything at all), but I can't help feeling like I'm trying to polish a turd.

I would have hair down to my behind or longer by now if I hadn't gotten stupid a couple of times and gotten the ends trimmed. I said trimmed, but the trim always seemed to be like a couple of inches or such. It's still substantially past my shoulders though and close to the middle of my back. Mostly straight, but with slight waves and a tendency to be completely unmanageable. Of course, that could be because I don't know what I'm doing also.

With enough work, a turd can be polished (Mythbusters did it, literally)

I got a "trim" once and ended up with about 1/4th inch of hair left atop my head. Might as well have called it a buzz cut... Your hair sounds about as long as mine is now, but the way you describe it "slight waves and a tendency to be completely unmanageable" sounds exactly how my hair was before I learned it was really just curly. Do you often brush your hair out when it's dry? I used to dry my hair and then brush it, or brush while blow drying back when I didn't know what I was doing.

I vowed not to have any haircut or "trim" until my hair reached my butt when dry. No way can they screw it up bad enough that there's nothing left for the fixer to fix.

Quote from: CJHard on August 06, 2010, 09:09:23 PM
With enough work, a turd can be polished (Mythbusters did it, literally)

I totally remember that episode haha.

Okay... weird.

Gah! 1/4 inch? I think it would have been wig time for me. That is after I crawled into a hole and hid for a few years. Not saying you should! Not at all. Just that I haven't had hair that short since I was in my teens and still living with my grandmother, who was the only one who could convince me to cut my hair. After she died I kind of made a private promise to myself to never get it cut short again. Doing so brings up old feelings of disgust from childhood that I'd rather not feel again.

Yes though, I brush it while its dry, but I comb it out while its still wet or damp since I use a detangler comb. When I brush it its usually with an open bristle vented styling brush.

Definitely my hair.... I never allowed myself to grow it long before coming out... After that, I like the way HRT has made subtle changes to my shape that are distinctly feminine...

Oh, and my freckles!  Never had 'em before HRT 

Quote from: Jamiee on August 06, 2010, 10:10:47 PM
Okay... weird.

Gah! 1/4 inch? I think it would have been wig time for me. That is after I crawled into a hole and hid for a few years. Not saying you should! Not at all. Just that I haven't had hair that short since I was in my teens and still living with my grandmother, who was the only one who could convince me to cut my hair. After she died I kind of made a private promise to myself to never get it cut short again. Doing so brings up old feelings of disgust from childhood that I'd rather not feel again.

Yes though, I brush it while its dry, but I comb it out while its still wet or damp since I use a detangler comb. When I brush it its usually with an open bristle vented styling brush.

My grandma had a barber come in every few weeks and cut everyones hair. The only style he knew was a crew cut X_X
I also remember the very first haircut I ever had. I screamed and yelled and had to be strapped down before my mom could get her evil cutting equipment into my hair. I've always hated it. Before I figured out how to make my hair look good, and I still had the "JewFro" going on, I wanted to try to grow it out to see if it would lay down on it's own. My mom took away everything I had until I agreed to get it cut...
My mom took a before and after picture one time, it always reminded me of the happy/sad theater masks.
If I were you, I'd experiment with your hair a little more. Try saturating it entirely with water (showers are like magic for my hair) and just shake it out and let it air dry without touching it. For me that was the difference between a wavy mess and pretty ringlets.

That sounds a lot like me. I always resisted getting my hair cut by my grandma would incessantly needle me and tease me util I did it just to get her to leave me alone, because if she didn't have any luck at first, she would make some kind of public issue about it and get my uncle in on it.

I was so embarrassed back then, but I wonder what she or everyone else would have done if I called her bluff on some of the teasing over her dressing me like a girl. I wonder, but I know now that I never could have. I would have died on the spot. As it is, I never actually came out to anyone I knew before other than my sister and it didn't really faze her. Her response when she caught me fully dressed up and all the first time when I didn't try to hide or cover it up was something along the lines of "Okay." But aside from her, the important members of my family died off ending with my grandmother, and the not-so-important members I lost contact with. With Grandma around, they saw little reason to keep touch and so the family (cousins and such) drifted apart. The only thing that kept me from fully coming out was I got kind of desperate to keep what friends I had at the time. I never came out to them, but I got really good at kind of muting my feminine fashions and such, so that I dressed more unisex than anything and I didn't bother with makeup. Still, they would have had to been blind not to actually notice. Still, they never confronted me about it and I certainly wasn't going to bring it up until I just couldn't stand it any more. Eventually my little circle of friends kind of parted ways due mostly to real life pulling everyone apart. Which kind of brings me to where I am now, which is having gradually lost everyone but my sister, I'm not really scared of being myself now.

Or rather trying to be and looking like some bizarre, twisted, mockery of such. Blah. Hate my body.

Sorry, I went way off on a tangent there, talking about my past. I am going to try some of the experimenting you mentioned CJ, thanks. Hopefully it will help, though I may not get a chance before beginning of next week. OMG... "JewFro"! that's what you call that style? I had two different friends that had that too! One of them I just called Woolly the other I just didn't know what to call it.

I', currently waiting to hear back from the counselor, or whatever he his title is, that I speak and who was going to recommend me for the Psychiatric evaluation to start HRT. The waiting anxiety is eating me up. But so far I got a good response from the doctor and the counselor I was seeing about depression before.

Sorry for the short reply, as I am on vacation in southern Mexico writing on my phone! I love how my hair can get really feminine and soft... It is straight for the most part with a slight wave in the back when it gets long (around 9 inches, though at the current moment it is only 5 inches).  I also feel really feminine when I look at my lips; my top one has a slight perk up which I just love as it complements my features.

LynnER you are so lucky! I would kill to feel feminine looking at my back, butt, and hips.  I am sure HRT will work wonders when that day comes for me in that area. But still, jealous honey!

Going to have to go with my naturally feminine face on this one.  I'm not on hormones yet, (though I should be!  7 months of gender therapy so far, grrr...) and I get ma'amed in checkout lanes and at food service ALL the time.  I was with my sister at Chipotle, and 3 different workers ma'amed me.  She teased me about it later, but seemed to pick up on the fact that it wasn't bugging me. 

Okay... You make me jealous too.

For me its my legs after I shave, and my smile, though its rare as I am still Male, but I always thought I looked more femenine when I smile.

Tali

I know exactly what you mean Tali. I rarely smile also. At most I have a sort of weak grin usually. A virtual lifetime of habit from hating the person staring back in the mirror. I'm hopeful though, I'm waiting and wanting to begin my HRT.

Sorry for the interruption but...
you ladies should smile more. You are after all, people who know yourselves better than the general population ever will.

Quote from: Janet Lynn on August 06, 2010, 04:12:38 PM
  Well Thank You, Spacial.   

I have to agree with the other poster too, Janet. You remind me of the type of lady that is just happy and friends with everyone. I smile just looking at you and your smile on your avatar. Go you!

wow, what have i done, this thread sure got long lol

LordKAT, you just made me smile. I never thought of it like that before
Jamie, I never used to smile, but, I have noticed my features look a lot more feminine when I smile, which makes me smile more

Love,

Tali

Quote from: talitha on August 11, 2010, 05:04:04 AM
For me its my legs after I shave, and my smile, though its rare as I am still Male, but I always thought I looked more femenine when I smile.

Tali

I'm much the same.. Love my legs when they are freshly shaved..

For me its my legs,but I have to come clean. Ididnt get great looking female legs just from HRT. I have a few silicone injections added to them once a year.     

Quote from: Angela on August 29, 2010, 05:10:04 PM
For me its my legs,but I have to come clean. Ididnt get great looking female legs just from HRT. I have a few silicone injections added to them once a year.     

I was lucky.. I was born with mine..