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Ever Been Misread as Trans from the Wrong Gender?

Started by Sinnyo, August 04, 2010, 05:04:18 PM

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TheAetherealMeadow

This never happened to me, but I don't know whether something like this should be taken as a compliment or not. I guess it is since it means you pass well enough as a member of your gender for someone to think that you were assigned that gender at birth.
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rejennyrated

Absolutely yes. It was a surreal moment too.

I came out of a long period of stealth, during which my partner had been out and bizarrely had had to cope with the frustration of watching our neighbors assume that I was her long-suffering and loyal cis female partner. When I look back I still feel bad about doing that to her, but at the time we had both agreed that we each had to handle our situation in the best way for us - and as I was the breadwinner it made sense for me to be a bit more cautious about who knew.

Anyway when, after ten years, I finally came out of total stealth into my current slightly more mixed approach in which I have told a few people but not others, one of the few people did I tell was Tania, our next door neighbor with whom we were very close friends. Her husband kind of acted as Alison's father at our wedding.

Tania said, "ah well that explains why you were always so understanding then." I nodded thinking she now understood, then she said "so you'll soon be growing a beard and having your breasts removed..." I blinked and looked confused.

It took me a few minutes to realise that she assumed I was telling her that I was a prospective FtM. I then put her straight, and now she looked really confused. She said, "but I've seen your childhood photos. I have seen you were a girl!" So then I had to explain all that too, how my parents had been rather more broadminded than some at the time. I pointed out that in some pics I was dressed as a girl and in some as a boy. She laughed and said, "yes but my cousin was just like that so that proves nothing. I honestly just thought you were a tomboy."

It was a priceless moment.
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Teknoir

Yes. To my face? No.

But more often was getting "clocked" as FTM or straight out male while presenting female.

"I think that's a dude..." can be taken a few different ways I suppose  :laugh:.
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Miniar

I mentioned that I'm a transsexual in a group of people (glbt) in Reykjavík and they stopped for a sec and then asked me which way I was going, as they couldn't place me.
This was before I even joined this forum.
I found it amusing.



"Everyone who has ever built anywhere a new heaven first found the power thereto in his own hell" - Nietzsche
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Fencesitter

@miniar

I think Northern Europe is one of the best places to transition worldwide. The people over there are just so cool and relaxed about these matters.
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insanitylives

Quote from: Teknoir on August 05, 2010, 10:27:33 AM"I think that's a dude..." can be taken a few different ways I suppose  :laugh:.
Yes, yes it can be.
TBH i look too feminine to be mis-read as mtf :p
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Arch

Something sorta like this has happened a couple of times. Pretransition, about fifteen years ago, I met a gal who said she "never would have guessed" that I wasn't "born female." Needless to say, I was not amused.

At Pride last year, I was volunteering at the trans booth, and a guy finally asked me which way I was going. I was right at the end of my androgynous phase, so I said, "What makes you think I'm going either direction?" Then I came clean.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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Vanessa_yhvh

I don't know of any who have flat out mistaken me for F2M, but I have been asked which I am while hanging out with cisgirl lesbians.
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Fencesitter

Quote from: SydneyTinker on August 07, 2010, 03:58:34 PM
I don't know of any who have flat out mistaken me for F2M, but I have been asked which I am while hanging out with cisgirl lesbians.

That's a good sign that transition might work for you, passing aspect.
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Keroppi

Personally I haven't been misread as FTM (yet?). But there were this guy at a support group I went to that I wasn't sure whether he was FTM or MTF.
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SilverShadow

Offtopic, sorry...

Quote from: Fencesitter on August 05, 2010, 03:36:36 PM
I think Northern Europe is one of the best places to transition worldwide. The people over there are just so cool and relaxed about these matters.

??? ??? ??? This is the first time I've ever heard (or read) something like this. Reading a couple of Finnish TG forums I'd say it's about as easy, or hard, as anywhere else. Unfortunately, we've got our fair share of bigoted a-holes, too. I do wish you were right, though. If these things are just  better in some Nordic countries than they are in Finland, cool. :) And I'm certainly not complaining, just saying that there's still room for improvement here, too.
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Fencesitter

I thought more about Sweden and Danmark... Finland I don't know.
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Jeatyn

Once at work behind the till I overheard two early transition MTF's talking about me.

"do you think she's like us?" ..... "she'd look better if she grew her hair out and wore makeup"

Stuff like that, i found it amusing :D

One irate customer also used airquotes around "girl" when refering to me as "that girl" to my manager, wasn't quite sure how to take that :P
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Debra

I haven't had this happen although somebody on the forums said my boy pic looked kind of like an FTM which was really a sweet thing to say haha

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glendagladwitch

I had this happen from the beginning and later, even post, finding new endos and stuff, they would act like they couldn't tell or had assumed the wrong thing at first. 

But I've seen it handed out as a "compliment" to people by others who really knew which way they were going.  I just don't trust compliments like this one.  Too often it is false flattery.
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