How much of your self and your comfort level are determined by how others perceive you? Do you have friends or family members who use your male name, refer to you with male pronouns, and really truly accept you as a guy? If so, what does that do for you and how do you feel when you leave that universe and enter into a world where people see you as female? Do you have less of an urge to transition when you're in that special world, and more of an urge to transition when you're not? That is, if everyone just accepted you as male, do you think you would still want to change your body? If you think you would like a male voice or a male chest or a male whatever, why? What do you think these things would do for you? Are they a means to an end--that is, a way to get people to recognize you as male--or are they more predicated on your level of comfort with yourself, without regard for anyone else?

If you're in the middle somewhere or if you're undecided, you have to find the right questions to ask yourself (mine might not do it for you). Or just wait around and see if you ever spontaneously get to the transition-or-die stage...and that's a very unpleasant place to be if you do get there.

Well, so is Limbo.

The majority of my friends use my male name and male pronouns. I don't feel as if many or all of them truly accept me as a guy because of various situations. One person in particular I dated, knew for many years and dated for 2 years. She "slipped" and said "she" about 4 times within 24 hours. I'm never in a universe where I'm seen completely as male so I don't think I can answer the question properly. I think that if I was completely passable as male I would be able to figure this whole thing out.

I used to be certain about top surgery. I used to think that I would get top surgery and if that didn't make me feel better go on T. Then I realized that...well...top surgery was surgery (I never even had a tooth pulled) and thus really flippin' scary. So I decided against it. There are many days where I think "T is right for me" but there are also days where I think "this isn't what I need."

I think that I wish my body were more masculine than what it is but I don't know if that feeling is enough for T or maybe I should just work out and exercise til my body is more masculine.

Yeah, I'm in a similar situation.  I know I want top surgery but I'm on the fence about T (although I'm leaning more and more toward it).  I don't pass but I wish people would "mistake" me for male.  I've never felt like "I'm a guy trapped in a girl's body," more like "I'm a girl who hates being a girl and wants to be a boy."  It's all very confusing and the only thing I know for sure about my identity is that I don't feel female.  I'm just trying to work it out through therapy and research.

I'm in the same boat. I know I'm trans; that's for sure. But whether I can live passing as a girl some of the time is what will answer the question for me, including whether I need T-- and right now I only pass as female, so I don't know. I'm slowly pushing my way toward presenting as more and more masculine.

My situation isn't really the same, brainiac. I've been presenting masculine for many years.

It just would be so much easier to figure out if I passed at least half the time.

Well, I assumed you were just further along than me. What I meant was PASSING as male, which I'm going to try for with increased masculine clothing.

Oh...masculine clothing I've been doing for...over 10 years, I guess. Ever since I was a young warthog.

I can relate. My gender is somewhat fluid, but I'm usually all male feeling. Occasionally I feel like I'm neutrois, but I think it has to do with the hormones confusing me. I feel comfortable knowing I have high testosterone. I'm not sure about surgery sometimes, but I feel like once I start t Ill never go back because that's the hormone I'm meant to have in my system, no matter what I identify as.