Long story short I told my boss (and owner of the company) and he is surprisingly very, very supportive. He seems very respectful of it and treating it with dignity. In the meeting tomorrow morning he'll be announcing the news. He said I could come in late tomorrow after the meeting so that people won't flood my office right after the news with God knows what and make me feel uncomfortable.

He said that if I have problems with anyone to let him know and he'll talk to them about it. I respect the offer but I prefer to talk to the person first and handle things without higher-ups getting involved. If after that and continued work things are still bad then I might mention it. Going into work tomorrow will possibly be The Most Uncomfortable Day of My Life. Ugh. I play in my mind how some people will react but really you never know.

So, my question is this. What was it like your first day at work after everyone knew? I've been there several years so we all know each other fairly well. It still feels weird... the fact that a secret I've had for so long will now be known to everyone. Also, how did you handle employees who doesn't take it well? What kind of problems did you run into? I'm sure I'll be Gossip Topic #1 for a long time, but that's to be expected. Man, this won't be fun.

Oh, it's not that bad 

  I was in the same situation.... I work for Lowe's... My HR manager informed the whole management staff at the weekly meeting that I was Trans and that I would be starting transition at work; They were instructed to go and inform each of their employees. Well this was done on the first of two days off for me so by the time I arrived at work two days later, I had (by proxy) come out to about 130 coworkers.    Woohoo!

  Funny thing is, no one said anything on the first day... I noticed that some were a little strange with me but not a word was said. On the second day, an employee I rarely talked to walked right up to me and said, "I admire your courage." She gave me a hug and went on her way... I had very similar reactions over the next couple of days, from men and women. What I found is that most people, although they've heard of "sex change operations," were absolutely clueless about transsexuals and were very curious about me. I was very candid about why I was doing what I was doing, what they could expect to see and how, if at all, my transition would effect them. I also have a hefty sense of humor about myself... that seemed to disarm the skeptical ones more than anything else. I armed myself with information and wasn't afraid to educate anyone who would listen. I've continued being quite open about the whole process... One guy, much younger than me, stated that he felt privileged to be able to watch the process... "This is something that so few people get to see," he said. Another, older, woman said that I changed "seamlessly from man to a beautiful woman," right in front of her. I started out hoping that I could show all those people that a Transsexual could be pretty cool to work with and, for the most part, I succeeded. They're very excited about my upcoming surgery. I know this may sound like an unusual story... I feel very fortunate to have such a large group of supporters but I feel that my attitude had 100% to do with how they reacted to me.
I did have one very obvious negative reaction...... About a week after I came out, a ..... I'll be nice... "very religious man" approached me and grilled me with questions.... He started asking about the relationship I had with my father, if I had been abused, if my parents used drugs.... I actually answered his questions and diffused the notion that being Trans had anything to do with my upbringing.... Later in the day he announced that he wouldn't be able to use my new name or refer to me as "she" or "her"... he said it wouldn't be right.  I said, "fine," and marched to the HR office. They shut him down!!! His issues resurfaced when, a few weeks later, he still wouldn't use my name... so I threatened to start calling him "Buttercup," in front of as many people as I could... He thought for a minute and said, "Ok, Jess." He still isn't happy but we tolerate each other. There were a few women who's jaws hit the floor when I showed up in the ladies' room but the shock wore off quickly.
  Over all, I think that the most important thing I found was to not put myself in their business... I think that some were expecting lots more drama than I ever generated. I would say, "I'm not asking you to condone what I'm doing, just accept that I'm doing it." Lucky for me, too, that Rhode Island has gender identity written into anti-discrimination laws.

  Anyway, good luck tomorrow and really..... We work ourselves up to more than it really turns out to be 

I just came out to work recently. I didn't do it like you though. I told my HR first, just to make sure that if I did transition at work that there wouldn't be any issues. She assured me there wouldn't be so I was happy. After that I started to come out one by one to all my co-workers, talking to them myself so I could tell them in my own words and not have someone second handedly messing things up for me, by accident or whatever. So far, EVERYONE has been AWESOME about it. Most of them are like 'Oh yeah? That's cool' And we go about our day. Some of them have even opted to call me 'little guy' and things like that on their own without me having to ask them to change pronouns. Some of them thought I was joking but when I shown I was serious, were surprised and/or shocked at first but once I answered a barrage of questions, they eased up and relaxed. I haven't had one person yet treat  me badly for it. I think I work with the best people on Earth and am very lucky.

Gossip isn't gossip when it's public knowledge. The novelty fades off too fast.

You might have been more gossiped about when what you were doing wasn't public knowledge (assuming you worked there before transition). Especially if you've been on T - that's kinda hard to hide .

Good luck, anyway. It takes a hell of a lot of courage to come out - especially in a professional environment.

(No personal experience to share I'm afraid - I took a different path).

I transitioned in the work place and the whole issue was handled extremely well by management which was one of the main reasons it was so successful. Management was behind me 100%. They arranged harassment workshops and info sessions for all the employees and made it quite clear that they completely supported me.  They even went so far as to send briefing teams to our biggest customer the local school boards.  My work brings me into daily compact with students and their parents and all complaints from that group was handled at higher levels and for the most part I wasn't even aware that there were some parents who didn't want their children exposed to a "pervert" such as myself.

It took a year of planning between myself and management but in the end it was all worth it as I'm still with the the company as their Safety Manager.

Steph

Late reply is late. Anyway, it's gone over better than I could hope for. I think having the owner's and my manager's full support helps alot but everyone seems to be good about it. People have come to me and said they support me, are proud of me, I'm doing a brave thing, etc. Ironically some of the people who I thought would have the hardest time and taking it the best. I even got a letter from a co-worker saying her support.

I have made a point to not ask someone what they think when they haven't brought it up. A few people haven't said anything about it. A few people came later on showing support but said they didn't want to "bother" me about it right away. I guess they didn't want alot of people in my office asking about it, which I can understand and respect.

I think that if someone wants to talk about it then fine but I'm not going to force an opinion out of someone. They might need time, might not know what to say or are even against it. I can't control what they think. I'll just move forward and handle any issues as they come. I hope I'll continue to have support. Things have went way better than I could've hoped for. There may end up being a few but hopefully they'll come around. That said I haven't been treated bad by anyone since then. Now, to just work on pronouns.

Speaking of that I have a question. I do want to give people some time for everything to sink in before enforcing new pronouns. About how long would be an appropriate time? My manager said we don't want to give people too long of a wait or it will become harder for people to switch the mindset but we don't know the length we should give people. How long of a time did you guys use before enforcing correct pronouns at work?

Oh, I forgot to say that we have a new guy at work that was shocked- he thought I was a guy (male bodied) anyway. We joke and say he is ahead of the curve... because he is.

Quote from: Teknoir on August 12, 2010, 08:21:51 AMYou might have been more gossiped about when what you were doing wasn't public knowledge (assuming you worked there before transition). Especially if you've been on T - that's kinda hard to hide .

IKR? I kind of thought "and a meeting and announcement is even needed?"