My name is Sarah,24,pre-transgender (MTF).

I am a MTF pre- trans, not yet starting hormone. I don't have any experience about dressing in female. I have watched a lot of your video about dressing. Could I ask if where anyone normally got the female clothing,bras and shoes before starting your journey? I'm embarassed to choose and try them in the shops. what do u think? Should I be more confident and look around them from shops? If so, which shop do you recommend me to start with? Which shop would you prefer? ASDS, Tesco, Topshop, Primark, M&S or Debehnam?

I did go shopping last week by myself. Walking in the shop, I realised that there were a lot of varieties of women clothing than man clothing. I was very excited. It was the first time I got myself a dress, bra and a legging from Debenham last week, I did expect the female staff gave me a strange look. But I was wrong, she seems very helpful and helped me to look for my size. I mean i am worrying the vast majority of people do not accept trans, does anyone have any recommendation? Some people mention that i should find some female friends who can help my hair style and make up. Has anyone mfaced this dilemma before?

Regards,
Sarah

Hi Sarah

Welcome Honey. There are lots of posts about shopping and also stuff in the Wiki guide. Basically very few shops will have any issue with you buying female clothing, they are there to make money.  Many people feel very nervous and unsure about fit and sizes etc. If you have been smart enough to ask for help already then that is the way to go. Not all shops will let you try stuff on, but many will. Some of the big stores may ask you to use the male change room if you are presenting as male. Many of the smaller ones will just let you use a stall no questions asked, just ask the staff; "Ok to try this for size?" No need to embarrass your self. No shop assistant will shout out, guy here wants to try a dress on, is that OK? Thsy would be fired on the spot (BTW I used guy just as an example and not as an insult ).

From the shops you mention I think you are in the UK? I'm in Australia. Most of the chain lingerie stores here have no problems in doing bra fittings for TGs. Again quietly explain and it really help if you have inserts with you. Hi I'm TG and wanting to be fitted for a bra, I have my 'falsies' could someone measure and fit me? No problems. When I did that, the assistant even took me around the store and showed me different styles and what not to buy. Such as it's a waste of time using a push up bra if you have nothing to push .

Of course once you are out in the world as the female you, nothing matters. You do what you want.


Shoes, I have tried on female shoes when in drab, again no problems or questions. Yes my toenails were polished so it was pretty obvious that I was into that type of style.

Make up, I have to admit I started from scratch and experimented. I did go to a professional make up artist who gave me tips. I found then through a local TG club to whom they advertised.

Wigs, I bought my first ones on line, I now go to a wig shop to be fitted and styled. Very helpful. "I know you like the to the waist length blonde one but do you think many women in your age group have waist length blonde hair?" me "Ahhmm No" In your case being young it would be different.

As many others have and will say, presentation is confidence. Be the confident woman you are and you will have no worries. Finally if you go to particular shops and get good service go back to them. If they are small ones they will quickly get to know you, and probably sign you up for email and loyalty alerts. Let them know what sort of stuff you like and they will be emailing you as soon as stuff comes in. It's all about the money.

Hugs, and welcome

Cindy

As Cindy says, few shops will be worried provided you have the money to pay. But I understand your self-consciousness and in your case I'd go to a big store, initially.

But your biggest problem is sizing. Bras, for example are really complicated.

For that, there are a number of threads on here, on sizing. But a google search will also give some good results.

I'm sure you will make loads of mistakes. Then, eventually, it will dawn on you, why it is that women tend to have so many clothes. 

 Love your comment spacial.

There in nothing like shopping. Absolutely nothing. I can spend all day in a mall and not buy, but lots of try. And then you see stuff. Oh dear. Bought a really cute pair of ear rings yesterday. Goddess, they hang from my ear lobe to my collar bone. Feel totally amazing. You know they are there when you move your head, and everyone will be looking at you. Gorgeous.

Hugs

Cindy

What I did was go second hand online. I just  purchased big bags of second hand clothing for next to nothing, most of it I ended up throwing out but I still have some of the things I found and it really was dirt cheap and a good way to try on a huge variety of stuff. Second hand clothing stores are great too.

(Also sizing is not that accurate. The only way to know for sure is to try stuff on,  for example sometimes I am a 14 for tops, other times a 12. I also have something sz 16 which fits really snug)

I have been shopping online... Amazingly, I have been reading the sizing information, and getting it relatively close!! Just keep it in one's range. Mainly I have been shopping from Victoria's Secret, I may shop in person soon!

Oh yes, if you follow the actual manufacturers charts you should be fairly close! good plan.

As I first transitioned in childhood I've never really had that problem, but I would imagine Mail order catalogues are a fairly painless way. There is one in the UK called Classic Confidence which you can also find online.

They also have a useful aspect in that they stock a much larger range of sizes than many shops. Also available in the UK Bonprix are also pretty handy like that, or if you are a little older BonMarche.

In fact just about any shop you can think off will have an online store.

Shopping in drab is all in our mind as I found out. I was always scared to shop in person but lately my last 3 shopping trips have been fantastic. Each one built my confidence to the point where I am no longer embarrassed to shop. I simply will walk in and browse the racks. Now that I know my size it feels so much better to have clothes that fit me properly. When Im in doubt if the cut is a large or small cut for the size I'll ask the shop assistant will this fit me. They also make suggestions for outfits which is great. Shopping is so much fun now but has also become expensive, that's the downside of confidence building. I also noticed that no one else paid any attention to me.

Give it time and your confidence will build and when it does you will enjoy shopping.

I first started shopping online.  I think it was Frederick's of Hollywood.  Usually in the clearance part because I has to experiment with the sizing a little bit till I figured it out.  Looking back now I should have just pulled out the tape measure and looked at the size charts.  Would have made things so much easier.  LOL  But now I will shop in any of the stores as long as I don't think I am going to run into anyone I know.  Unfortunately a lot of the people that I do know though wouldn't be malicious about it would still really bust my chops if I was too feminine or was shopping in the women's section without my wife.  As for the stores though they don't care in the least in my experience.

I'd recommend Victoria's Secret for the Bra and Panties.  Don't go to crazy with things like Thongs though, you'll find you want something more practical.

VS has a slightly different method than most for doing their bra measurements so make sure you read up on sizing on their website.  Another problem with them is they don't really sell bra's if your chest is greater than 40 inches.  So if you are a big girl, they might be out.

I found that Nordstrom's and Macy's online stores are very good too.  They have excellent sizing charts for their clothes and have good quality goods.

Quote from: saraharmstrong on July 10, 2010, 08:42:32 PM
I am a MTF pre- trans, not yet starting hormone. I don't have any experience about dressing in female. I have watched a lot of your video about dressing. Could I ask if where anyone normally got the female clothing,bras and shoes before starting your journey? I'm embarassed to choose and try them in the shops. what do u think? Should I be more confident and look around them from shops? If so, which shop do you recommend me to start with? Which shop would you prefer? ASDS, Tesco, Topshop, Primark, M&S or Debehnam?

I'm a graduate without a proper job, so most of what I've bought has been from supermarket or primark. Supermarket girl me . The good thing about supermarket & primark is the items that they do sell are really cheap, so you can try lots of different items and style cheaply until you're sure what work and what doesn't. The downside with Asda & Salisbury is that they don't have fitting room for you to try the clothes first before buying, though Asda Living does.

After reading these posts (particularly Cindy's). I went straight down to the shopping centre to try on a black shirtdress I'd found on the internet...actually I'd been planning to but reading this thread just gave me the extra confidence to go and do it myself. The people there were lovely, more than happy to let me try it on and test the size. The result...a perfect fit and it looks fabulous! I also had great experiences in shoe shops too. So yesterday morning has basically killed any fear I had of going shopping for the moment or showing off painted toenails to total strangers, though I may have the problem now of spending too much money!

Quote from: Keroppi on August 08, 2010, 01:08:10 PM
I'm a graduate without a proper job, so most of what I've bought has been from supermarket or primark. Supermarket girl me . The good thing about supermarket & primark is the items that they do sell are really cheap, so you can try lots of different items and style cheaply until you're sure what work and what doesn't. The downside with Asda & Salisbury is that they don't have fitting room for you to try the clothes first before buying, though Asda Living does.

That's great, Asda and Primark are good place to shop, what type of clothings would you prefer? I am a bit struggling with the day out dressing, I fancy the black skirts which are suitable for office job. I am a bit worried to wear them for work though. Legging is a good choice as well, i am worried that my colleagues may not like that. any suggestion?

Quote from: michelle.ch on August 09, 2010, 06:05:22 PM
After reading these posts (particularly Cindy's). I went straight down to the shopping centre to try on a black shirtdress I'd found on the internet...actually I'd been planning to but reading this thread just gave me the extra confidence to go and do it myself. The people there were lovely, more than happy to let me try it on and test the size. The result...a perfect fit and it looks fabulous! I also had great experiences in shoe shops too. So yesterday morning has basically killed any fear I had of going shopping for the moment or showing off painted toenails to total strangers, though I may have the problem now of spending too much money!

Good on you girl

Yes, now there are several problems, how much money, how big a wardrobe, how many pairs of shoes can you wear in a life  time (zillions), do I really need that skirt, top, dress coat, handbag: yes of course you do .

When you next go shopping in full Michelle splendor it will be even more fun.

Happy Shopping
Hugs
Cindy

Cindy and others who have said it is all about selling you something are dead right.

I found that in Bra's n Things Saturday, and in a Church Op-Shop yesterday.  Older woman behind the counter there didn't even blink when I asked where the fitting rooms were, with an armful of skirts. And then I asked whether they had any women's boots in larger sizes.

Maybe she thought I was a lesbian bikey chick, because I was in my riding gear with makeup!!

Quote from: saraharmstrong on July 10, 2010, 08:42:32 PM
I don't have any experience about dressing in female. I have watched a lot of your video about dressing. Could I ask if where anyone normally got the female clothing,bras and shoes before starting your journey? I'm embarassed to choose and try them in the shops. what do u think? Should I be more confident and look around them from shops? If so, which shop do you recommend me to start with? Which shop would you prefer? ASDS, Tesco, Topshop, Primark, M&S or Debehnam?

I hope you have Goodwill, Salvation Army or any other second-hand store. You can buy lots of clothes there, experiment with sizes, looks and throw them away if you make a mistake. I buy a dress for $5 there, and tops/bottoms for less than that.

JCPenney have UltraTall jeans in women sizes.

I'd also recommend to go to a specialized store and use their advice on breastforms/ wigs/ cosmetics. You pay a bit more, but you'd save a lot by going with correct product.

Quote from: CindyJames on July 11, 2010, 04:12:19 AM
Love your comment spacial.

There in nothing like shopping. Absolutely nothing. I can spend all day in a mall and not buy, but lots of try. And then you see stuff. Oh dear. Bought a really cute pair of ear rings yesterday. Goddess, they hang from my ear lobe to my collar bone. Feel totally amazing. You know they are there when you move your head, and everyone will be looking at you. Gorgeous.

Hugs

Cindy

Sorry about the late reply.  I only found this thread just now, and I love it!

Want to buy clothes made exactly for your size, fit and structure?  Try this website out:

www.CrossDresser.com

Janet Lynn on this website turned me on to them!  I got my first, and only so far, wig from this website.  Look through all the categories.  It's a good place to start!

By the way, Cindy is SO RIGHT!  There's NOTHING like shopping, especially at a major mall!  God, I love it ... could do it all day ... have done it all day ... wanna do it again ... SOON!   

Also, Cindy and the other girls here are totally correct:  These stores want to make sales.  Just go in and present your case.  Will anybody go nuts on you?  Doubt it.  I've had people grin and smirk at me.  Heck with 'em.  I bought my clothes, looked them right in the eye and smirked back.  Guess what they can kiss?  You guessed it!   

Good luck.  Just go for it!   

Here is my experience from my last shopping trip. Was in drab, just walked into whatever woman's clothing store took my fancy and browsed like all the other women in the store and you know what, no one paid attention to me. In one store I couldnt find my size in a dress that I liked so I went to the counter asked the assistant if she had the size I wanted, which she did I then made my purchase along with 2 tops and a skirt and a cami. I spent more than the 2 laides in front of me. Im sure the store owner was grateful for my business, she did comment that I had made a good selection and also said "See you next time" from which I surmised she knew the clothes were for me. Did I care, heck NO, I'll shop there again. In another store the store owner was alone and no one else was in the store she made me but was fine, she actually suggested that I try on the outifts I had selected. I did and finalised my purchases. Expensive weekend for me but was it so fun shopping.

I look back at how I felt the first time I went  shopping, Iwas so afraid, shy, embarrassed, I thought everyone was looking at me. Those feeling have gone. Shoe and accessory shopping is also no problem for me now as well.

In time confidence grows and the store owner just wants a sale at the end of the day.

Great post Kimberley.

It gets easier and easier. I saw an absolutely beautiful bra in the window of Simone's (an upbeat lingerie and bridal wear shop here). I was in drab, walked in went to the counter and said I love that white bra with the lace and broach work. Do you have it in my size, 14C? In my excitement I had totally forgotten that I wasn't presenting. The girl behind the counter didn't bat an eyelid. Found one chatting away and told me to try it on so she could check the size. She commented on the fact that I'm starting to get some development; we were old friends by now, I had told her I was TG and on hormones but not always dressing the part. I explained that I used inserts to get the C cup. Then of course she showed me the matching brief, and the garter belt. I bought the briefs and not the garter. She made a very good sale, I should have checked the price first  .  I also got the come back anytime.

Cindy