Wow, that second letter really shows how self centered he is about all of this. On the up side, I got the distinct impression he called HR anonymously without naming any names, and not your work directly.

-Gwen

The whole situation is beginning to scare me a bit.

He might very well be remembering when I was 5-6 years old and arguing with my cousin about being a girl and coming to him on it.

His method of dealing with these things were to spank you extremely hard and continuously until you said you were not whatever it was you were doing or wanting and you would verbally agree with him.

He used the same method on my oldest brother when my parents caught him at 14 in our sisters room, back when she was 7. My dad tried to beat what he was doing out of him, needless to say it worked for about 10 years or so, but you can't cure someone from things like that by beating them, and 30 years later, my oldest brother is sitting in jail a convicted pedophile.

He still to this day denies everything that happened with Michael, swearing he never knew, just like he's now denying knowing anything with me. Just like he claims he honestly believed my little was still his, even after knowing of the affair, and the fact that the year after I was born he got a vasectomy. He knew before she was born that my mom had an affair, but would still parade around and tell everyone she was a miracle baby, and now 22 years later still holds to his story about never knowing of the affair until she was 3. Yet they filed for a divorce when I was 8 and she's only 7 years and 1 month younger then me...

Waking up today I realize my best bet is to cut all ties, as has been said, and keep moving forward. My sister sent a very nice e-mail in response to what my dad sent me, and my moms reply is the way a parent SHOULD respond to something like this.

I better get ready for work.

Gabby

 His response sounds like the most insidious of all; A self righteous assumption that you're in trouble and he wants to "help" you. If you took out the references to Transsexuality, his emails could have been written to someone suffering from drug addiction or alcoholism, emphasizing how much you're hurting everyone around you.
  "This can not be." ...... This is all about him... What you are contributes to his failure as a person. You can't exist in his world. He's repeatedly referring to you as Son, kid.... reaffirming his image of you as masculine. He's threatening you.... threatening to withhold his relationship. He's lying to you about what those close to you have said. HE CALLED YOUR EMPLOYER!!! The danger here is that, the closer you allow him to be, the more he will try to manipulate every part of your world, throwing up any obstacles he can to your transition. As Transsexuals, we don't need more obstacles.
  I don't think you can (or should) afford any more contact with him at all... He'll interpret every communication with you to be an opportunity to impede your progress. Any information you provide to him will be manipulated to be used against you. You don't need any of this! Maybe this is something you can work on in the future but early transition isn't the time to be fighting.... Use your energy for the positive things that are happening.

Ughhh... I know all too well what it feels like to get that kind of response.  I came out to both my parents in person at the same time.  They ended up ganging up on me with a very similar argument minus the religious references.  Nothing I said convinced them because they would just turn my argument around and spit it back at me.  For example, I apparently want to be female because I got teased by boys in grade school and want to disassociate with maleness - what I actually told them was that I got teased because of how I acted and because I had girls as friends.

I'm not sure if my dad is ever going to come around.  He's probably still delusional, believing he's going to have to quit his job from all the ridicule he thinks will get because I work at the same company, though a different facility 30 minutes away.  I did end up having a follow-up conversation with my mother and she may be coming along.  She finally realized I'm serious after I broke down crying for 10 minutes while we were talking  .  I can only hope it becomes better as I transition and they realize their fears are unfounded, because I'm really not sure what they're so scared of. 

Gabby

Just read your father's last email.

Basically, what he is implying is that you have a choice, between material prosperity and happiness. I think he knows how miserable you are, I get that impression anyway.

As for contacting your employers. If they are worth a bean they will see this for what it is. At the very least, ignore it, at best, offer you some support.

I can only repeat what Janet said, cut and run.

I don't want to interfere with your dad, but contacting others about such a personal issue suggests he has no respect for you at all.

Not sure why I shared my response to him... Either way it's up on the front page in the initial post.

Gabby

Gabby,
I know I responded to this once or twice before after reading the other letters but I have to say you are an incredible woman. That letter, though yes angry, did not seem mean or to insult him. The letter seemed written in anger but not in a way of blaming him for anything, with exception of the things you have said he did. I hope one day he changes his mind and if he does that you let him in because it would be a shame for his anger and ignorance to keep him from getting to know his daughter. Good luck with any future contact from him.

Hi Gabby,

I just wanted to leave a message, you are a very strong woman, and I commend you on response to your father, Its a shame for any parent to act this way.
You have handled yourself exceptionally well.
Goodluck with your transition and future relations with your father.

Love,

Tali