Greetings! I usually have trouble with introductions, but this one's easy because I've not got much to introduce. Call me Ilan.
I was born with girl parts and grew up for the most part blissfully ungendered, existing at just about an equal distance between female and male without even thinking about it. I toyed with the idea of being FTM as a teen, but ultimately decided that puberty was probably just that awkward for everyone and hoped that I'd outgrow the distress my body caused me. As I developed a sexuality, I found my gender (or lack thereof) to be concerning; everyone called me a lesbian because I dressed in male clothes, but I rarely liked girls, and I frequently found myself walking the fine line between wanting to be with a boy and just wanting to be a boy. When I started college, I concluded "genderqueer" was the most appropriate term for me, but settling into a preferred label hasn't had much of an impact on me feeling that I need to be recognized as something other than the tomboy people perceive me as.
Oy, that got long. Anyway, I'm currently exploring the possibility that I might be FTM after all. I'm looking forward to learning from this community and helping others when I can!
