So I see threads all the time about people getting Sirred or Ma'amed undesirably, on the phone, in person, etc.

I find this fascinating, because, I live in Australia, and maybe it's just me (or maybe just where I live in Australia), but, I virtually never here sir or ma'am said to anyone. In fact no titles like that seem to be used at all (in keeping with the stereotype, 'mate' is probably the closest thing to sir). To me it's actually a little frustrating because it makes it much trickier to tell how other people percieve you.

In fact the only time I have heard either pronoun used has been with either Americans or Australians mimmicking Americans (never in serious conversation).

So I'm curious now, do people use Sir/Ma'am where you are? And if so how frequently/in what contexts? 

I live in Australia and have noticed we have people using ma'm and sir quite a bit in the last 5 years.  I don't think it is across the board like in the U.S where it 's actually employment standard practice in customer service.  So Australia is following this trend as we do with most things. 

I recently was ma'med in a food store by the manager but his regular check-out staff don't use pronouns ever, so obviously he's been trained to do it and his staff aren't following his lead, lol. Also, was ma'med by people giving out 'how to vote' leaflets at public transport venues twice this week. 

So basically as staff are trained by the U.S training manuals, we will find it common practice here in the next few years. 

Yea I live in Florida, so in the south mostly everyone uses the pronouns. But then again I'll get stuff like "baby" "sugar" "sweetpea" from ladies at stores, so it can get tricky too. I love when I get sirred, seeing as how I still hold doors open for people, the "thank you sir" makes my day.

One thing about Alabama is that I was raised that if you talk to someone the way to show respect was by saying Sir or Ma'am if you didn't know them by name. Not sure what an aporpirate alternative would be.

Quote from: Dragon Friend on August 19, 2010, 10:21:51 PM
One thing about Alabama is that I was raised that if you talk to someone the way to show respect was by saying Sir or Ma'am if you didn't know them by name. Not sure what an aporpirate alternative would be.

I can tell you that where I live. It's just not really considered disrespectful to not use anything. Soooo, people tend not too.

People call each other 'mate' a lot (probably much more so common to males than to females, but not totally exclusive).

I find it interesting hearing about how common sir and ma'am are in some places when it's so uncommon here.

I live in Sydney Australia (when I'm not in the U.S.) and I have heard "ma'am" there a lot, though nothing like in the States. Being from Tennessee originally I also notice it seems to be used a lot more in the southern states than the northern ones. I was taught to always say sir and ma'am by my parents. Generally in Australia it seems it's just people being polite rather than any kind of establishment policy.

Quote from: James42 on August 19, 2010, 09:52:32 PM
Yea I live in Florida, so in the south mostly everyone uses the pronouns. But then again I'll get stuff like "baby" "sugar" "sweetpea" from ladies at stores, so it can get tricky too.

I was going to say the same thing, but you can add "honey" to that list, guys and girls get it alike. I think its hilarious.

Quote from: Ashley4214 on August 19, 2010, 10:41:51 PM
I can tell you that where I live. It's just not really considered disrespectful to not use anything. Soooo, people tend not too.

People call each other 'mate' a lot (probably much more so common to males than to females, but not totally exclusive).

I find it interesting hearing about how common sir and ma'am are in some places when it's so uncommon here.

You wouldn't live in Queensland by any chance? 

There was a incident up there several years ago where a mtf was addressed as 'mate' while going through a drive-thru and was so distressed that she told the young male employee that she didn't transition to then still be called 'mate'. 

I heard she was suing the fast food chain for improper training of staff, but I have not heard what came of her case.  This incident was not reported in the news. I know about it from personal sources.

Quote from: Hermione01 on August 20, 2010, 03:04:35 AM
You wouldn't live in Queensland by any chance? 

There was a incident up there several years ago where a mtf was addressed as 'mate' while going through a drive-thru and was so distressed that she told the young male employee that she didn't transition to then still be called 'mate'. 

I heard she was suing the fast food chain for improper training of staff, but I have not heard what came of her case.  This incident was not reported in the news. I know about it from personal sources.

Yep, good ol brissy. 

To be completely honest, I think the idea of being upset over something like that is a little absurd. And suing over it is down right malicious. It's exactly stuff like that that causes people to dislike us, and amplifies my own animosity towards the LGBT community.

I live in Northern USA (in Minnesota) and calling people 'sir' or 'ma'am' was just something I did to be polite, but even the people I said it to thought it was ridiculous. Sir and Ma'am are not at all common things to hear around here.

Round here "sir" is WAY more common than "ma'am"

Usually only from sales people who work on commission, "need any help sir, can i show you our new range of stock sir" etc

I'm not sure what they use for women, I've never heard ma'am used in actual conversation, I guess it would be "miss"

"Mate" is used for all man to man interactions, bus driver hands you a ticket..."cheers mate" ...ordering a pint at a bar..."what can I get you mate?"

Replace with "love" "chick" "duck" or my most hated...."darlin" if it's a man or a woman talking to a woman

"Dude" and "bro" are pretty much unisex

So I know I've passed if I get the coveted "mate" from another guy. Women I have no idea because they don't interchange words, "love" has the same connotation from a woman regardless of your gender.

Of course enter the gay community and all this goes out the window, girls call girls mate and boys throw around "darlin" to anyone within earshot

I personally don't like the construct, so I never use it. I cannot recall anyone on the phone or in person every reacting as if I were being impolite, I do use ¨Please¨ and ¨Thank You¨, but never sir or ma'am (or the word it actually stands for madame). The way the military forces it around, really makes me hate it's use, it is almost as if the words tend to stratify society.

It doesn't seem expected of me or anyone else who lives here who has a neutral American accent, however people who live here and have a southern accent (Around 30% I would estimate) seem to say it alot, and people who have a northern accent (maybe 10% almost all transplants) seem to say sir, but almost never ma'am.

I asked one of my coworkers from New York who also never said either word and he explained that where he was from (Albany IIRC) that saying ma'am to someone is like calling them old, and saying sir is like telling them they have authority over you.

Like everything in English though, diction is a highly regional thing (i.e. Soda, Pop, Fizzy, Soda-pop, etc)

I live in Tennesee and pretty much the only times I've ever heard sir or ma'am being used is in a hospital and few stores. Around here I guess it's not really a big deal. Heh there has been times where someone has called me hun, babe, sweety, and that's basically it. It don't bother me that much anymore I just either go with the flow or just grit my teeth and take it cause I haven't really seen the point to correct them anymore heh. Around here I can be wearing my gender nuetral clothes and go out in public and no one will even take a second glance but if I go out all gothed out with my lips painted lightly black and my claw shapped labret or something like that (I wear all black basically anyway) I get all kinds of stares but I just smile at these starers and keep walking and I just be as respectful as possible.

I guess its just a southern thing :p I was raised saying Sir and Ma'am. My mom still gets on to me if I dont :p Its just a polite thing to do. Its just habitual for me now.
xoxo

It can really vary from place to place, as well as where the person serving you is from. When I have been in customer service, I, like most people around here, don't really use sir or ma'am often. However, some do. I also notice that some people from, say India, at stores would call everyone "sir" no matter your gender.

Among women, dude is used a lot -- it has no real gender here. *shrugs* also, even a group of women will be called "guys." Examples: "What's up dude?" (A woman to another woman). And, "Are you guys ready to order?" A waitress talking to a group of women at a restaurant. Ladies, and girls will also be used, but guys is also just as common, especially if you have more than one gender.

I've seen folks in the trans community freak out and flip out at a store (or, afterward) when someone says sir, dude, or guys. It's not always an indicator. Sometimes, I think folks in the trans-community are overly sensitive and overly paranoid. And, if you're always thinking like that you will draw attention to yourself. Just be yourself, and don't worry what some guy at a store or restaurant says -- they don't matter and aren't worth destroying your self-confidence over.

Quote from: Ashley4214 on August 20, 2010, 05:09:00 AM
Yep, good ol brissy. 

To be completely honest, I think the idea of being upset over something like that is a little absurd. And suing over it is down right malicious. It's exactly stuff like that that causes people to dislike us, and amplifies my own animosity towards the LGBT community.

I agree, I think suing the establishment is really overkill here.  She made her point and it shouldn't have gone any further.

Quote from: Hermione01 on August 25, 2010, 06:25:45 PM
I agree, I think suing the establishment is really overkill here.  She made her point and it shouldn't have gone any further.

I third this.  However, the stupidity of some people should not be used to excuse your own bigotry or those of others.

ANYWAY sirring and ma'aming.  I don't really hear it much around here, and you definitely don't ma'am anyone young, you miss them.  But I've only really heard it from waitresses and the like, and they generally prefer sweetie or something, which is fine for referring to the young, but older people tend to find it condescending, or at least my mother does.

I live in the US mountain west.  The area is fairly rural - mostly ranching.  Sir and Ma'am are more common here than the midwest US where I was raised, particularly when young people (20s) are addressing an older person (me). 

I get "sir" on the phone about 3/4 of the time from customer service people (ma'am the rest of the time).  They seem to use the honorifics - sir or ma'am - more than people do face-to-face.  I've corrected a few.  When I say my name is Katherine and they still say "sir", I figure they are either somewhere like Bangladesh or just aren't paying attention.

I get annoyed when I'm with a male friend and the server addresses the two of us as "guys".  But I'm old - or at least that's the way they make me feel when I get annoyed by it.

- Kate