Thank goodness nobody did any poking anywhere when I went, I seriously am not that pragmatic to just think of it as a means to an end and move on, I think I'm excessively fragile

They just ordered a blood tests and that was it.
If your doctor has had trans patients before maybe they won't ask.
If asked and you're not comfortable try a polite "I'd rather not".
But imagine yourself walking out with your prescription in your hand feeling already changed