My ex took off with my daughter "non biological" 5 1/2 months ago, I know some of you already know this part of the story, if so scroll to the next paragraph. We had been together almost 5 years on and off. Our daughter was 6 1/2 months at the time.

She had cheated on me a few times and had some mental issues but I loved her and I knew she loved me. Two weeks ago she came back into my life. She has had psychological help since then. My daughter had turned one and I contacted her to pass along birthday wishes. All week I've been spending time with her and our daughter and everything fell back into place. When she said she was going to loose her place to live (a trailer not a nice one, with holes in the floors, rats, roaches, and was missing doors) I told her within the next few months we should start looking for a place together. We're both almost 20 and I figured it was time for me to leave my mom's house. She said the rent increased and she had until next month to find a new place. I figured that gave me a month. Well two days ago we found a nice place, reasonable rent, first two months free which was perfect... the catch? We have to move in on Friday. I keep telling myself I'm not nervous but the truth is I'm terrified. She is somewhat dependent on another ex boyfriend so me and my mother are helping her gain dependence. She can afford the rent and such so that doesn't worry me but moving out of my mom's place is nerve racking. To top it off I've been questioning testosterone because I am afraid of my "scent" like sweat and stuff changing and although I don't like who I am now I'm afraid I really won't like the person I become. Don't get me wrong, I am trans and would love the facial hair and finally passing but I'm scared.

On top of that I am switching my major, questioning my college choices, and dealing with the other stupid stuff in life. Tonight I had a panic attack for the first time ever which was okay because my mom has them so I knew what it was and how to deal with it but the first thing I did was call the girl I am moving in with (I hate calling her my ex so I call her Teddy) and then realized she is asleep I texted a couple times to and now I'm worried she's gonna think I'm too clingy and decide not to move in with me. I really think I am over thinking everything and panicking for no reason but... am I?

Alexander.

To be brutally frank, it might be time you you to think about moving on.

This girl is, by your description, messed up. Her choice of previous accommodation calls into question her judgement.

I don't know what social services are like in your area, but you might think of dropping them a few hints. You could perhaps offer to foster the child, given your already strong relationship.

The down side is that your relationship with the child would seem to be in the hands of this woman. As hard as it will be, you might be wise to try to ease yourself out of that, if not for your sake, for hers.

Perhaps someone else has something more to add, perhaps another option.

i never had a real relationship with anyone so feel free to ignore my opinion.  but i think its a bad idea to be in a relationship with someone that cheats on you.
i dont know the wisdom of moving in with someone,  i dont know if you have a relationship now with, or want to reignite it. it seems filled with pit falls. theres so many ways it could go terribly wrong.
if you feel grown up enough to live with her and deal with all the issues from before and just everyday things, and help raise the baby. thats great. and i would admire you then.

and you shouldent feel afraid of leaving the nest.  its scarey but worth it. except doing all the vacuuming, thats never worth it 

and i am mtf so i think testosteron is an unholy abomination.   i like feel a little afraid and scared about some of the changes too. but on the whole.  i want it. and i think you want it too. and it just feels right.

and i managed to drop out of school when i was 17,  so aslong as your still going. your doing great!  just is the class want you want?

i just want to hear more about what you want. go with that. all choices have consequences. just try and go for what you want, and what is smart in the long term.

Spacial- The place she lives is not one of her choosing, she cannot afford anything else in the city we live in which is why I'm intending upon moving in with her so that she can afford a nice place. Your opinion is that of about half of my friends. Thanks for sharing with me As for children services I feel it is not right to punish her for not having any other option but now she does have one and is taking it. Her mother forced her to drop out of school now, since leaving, she has worked hard for her GED and is in college. She also has been getting help to work through her problems.

Augie- Thanks yeah, I don't look forward to the vacuuming but as far as the rest I do look forward to it. I want... I want a career that doesn't take too much schooling. I don't mind working hard I'm just not that great at getting good grades. I can have a law enforcement degree in one year because of the other classes I have already taken. I guess I just think that everyone deserves a second chance. She is seeing someone to work through her issues, she is going to college even after her mom had forced her to drop out of school she went after her GED recently and started college and I see a whole new person. I've never been the type of guy to wonder what could have been. I'd rather be the guy to take a risk of getting hurt because maybe I won't and if I did then at least at the end of my life I will know I pursued all options. 

I'm really sorry Alexander. I didn't mean to to forward.

I just have a feeling you may be setting yourself up to be hurt here.

It's obvious that she needs help and support. But you may find yourself paying out and getting little in return.

I am also sorry if the suggestion about the child may have been inappropriate.

Whatever you decide, I really do wish you the very best. But please, be careful.