-what to do.
The cutter, some woman who has taken interest in my girlfriend and told my gf about her feelings towards her (and was obviously rejected), has been hurting herself repetitively by cutting herself and has been blaming my Girlfriend for all of it. We're both very stressed out and worried about this, especially since today she has decided to cut herself yet again, telling my gf "You realize that I'm doing this  because of you. I'm not going to stop hurting myself until you help me get over my feelings for you."
Neither of us know what to do (as stated in the title). Please tell me that someone, anyone does.

This person is clearly mentally unstable, it is not your duty to help her because she is basically blackmailing your girlfriend.
But if you feel you need to I would suggest a simple private talk. Let her realize that this method she uses will not cause your girlfriend to love her, you can't force that feeling on someone. It must grow and come from both sides. You might be able to show her what life has to offer besides your girlfriend. There are plenty fish in the sea for anyone willing to catch one. Maybe physical contact like holding her hand will sthrengthen this message. Finally the decision is up to her. She can either continue to mutilate her body over something she will never get or move onward, make her own life and possibly find love.

you can also contact the police since they are self harming, would probably do them a world of good for a 72 hour hold.

I forgot to mention that my girlfriend and possibly the cutter are in a different state entirely than mine..

hello there...

Any form or self-harming behaviour, whether enacted by getting lost in alcohol, drugs, sex, porn, violence...or food...Is always used to stop, fill and/or negate the black hole of craving within....

Cutting would seem to be the way some cope with lingering distress, deep anger and painful memories...

And if we add in that they're not enlightened beings, grown ups and let's politely say fully functioning adults... then it's more than easy for them to throw the responsibility of themselves onto others...

A good strategy might be to help your g/f realise she's in no way responsible for this other woman's grip on reality or not...and her self-harming patterns...

Then maybe offer a link to her that will help her gain some quality therapy, the contact with her, until she's well again...

you are not responsible for this persons behavior

this person is obviously deranged and needs help

call the police in her area and inform them she is a danger to herself

I have known cutters, they only do it to get attention. They tend to keep the harm inflicted to self too flesh wounds. Cutters want to live so they only do enough damage to make it look bad. Do not reinforce this behahior, stop all converstation/contact with this person and report them to the police of their local area as a self harm risk.

Quote from: cynthialee on September 04, 2010, 05:59:38 PM
I have known cutters, they only do it to get attention.

Clearly true of this cutter but not true of all of them. Some cut in private, tell no one, and hide all evidence.

I also recommend contacting the local police in the cutter's area and inform them of the situation and that you are concerned for the person's well being.  The police will likely do a welfare check on the person and then make a decision on whether the person is a harm to self/others.

It is not your fault and there is nothing else you can do but wish this person happiness.  I would suggest that your girlfriend break off communication with this person as it is neither helping her nor the cutter.

With great respect Cynthialee, I have to agree with Arch here. Many cutters are trying to relieve tension or simply to feel, anything.

Though, as you say, many self harm people are attention seeking.

But this woman is clearly dangerous. Her next step is to cut your girlfriend, or someone else. Her attempts to blame others for her own actions demonstrate a very disturbed and potentially criminal mind.

this is clearly a matter for the police. I don't know what the laws will be regarding self harm. But this woman is a clear danger to others.