Put yourself in this spot

Your out with some friends (which all know you were born a girl but they refer to you as a dude) and your flirting with different girls that you have never met before well they think your a dude and you don't have to worry about any of your friends blowing it for you that you were born a chick... Well I wonder what its like to be flirt with a girl without having to hear that "...Oh...I'm straight...I'm not like that...." I hate hearing that because I feel like i am male inside (like im sure you guys do too) so I don't see myself as a chick anymore but i still do have the parts of a female...so is it messed up just not telling her? I know if I get into a relationship with her I will have to but do you feel like you should tell random people that arent close to you...that you were born female and still kinda are one?

Quote from: Trippsta on September 08, 2010, 06:37:16 AM
I know if I get into a relationship with her I will have to but do you feel like you should tell random people that arent close to you...that you were born female and still kinda are one?

Oh, I only tell this when it's probable that I'll put down my pants at some time during the date. Otherwise, it's none of their business.

Quote from: Kris on September 08, 2010, 06:37:16 AM
so is it messed up just not telling her? I know if I get into a relationship with her I will have to but do you feel like you should tell random people that arent close to you...that you were born female and still kinda are one?

definitely not. just have fun, seriously.

Unless you're about to "go at it", they don't need to know.  Just have fun and keep on flirting.

It's too funny that you brought that subject up.....I just had this conversation with my wife the other day.

I think being transgender is a personal thing ... and if I am not going to have a relationship with the person --- in my case friendship -- then I don't see any point on telling that person.

Quote from: Kris on September 08, 2010, 06:37:16 AM
do you feel like you should tell random people that arent close to you...that you were born female and still kinda are one?

Nope, and I loathe loathe loathe loathe loathe LLOOAATTHHEE when I'm in a position where I'm forced to.

But the moment they become more than "random people" that I'll probably not see again, that's the moment where I really don't mind sharing.

Be yourself.
You're a guy with girl parts, no one needs to know that.
If you get lucky, you may not even have to tell someone you're about to get intimate with.
If you don't want to, you don't have to.

Its a birth defect, its not your fault.

And if you're passing with those girls your age, pffft fly with that!

Its like..say someone was born with 6 toes..would they have to disclose that up front? No.

I generally don't talk about my genitals with people in casual conversation.

My general guideline for determining when it's necessary to disclose personal information:  If it's not going to affect them, they don't need to know.  If it IS going to affect them, they do have a right to know.

So if you're just flirting, there's no need to tell them.

Quote from: Rayalisse on September 08, 2010, 06:48:38 PM
I generally don't talk about my genitals with people in casual conversation.

that's a very wise guideline 

Quote from: Alexmakenoise on September 08, 2010, 07:06:50 PM
My general guideline for determining when it's necessary to disclose personal information:  If it's not going to affect them, they don't need to know.  If it IS going to affect them, they do have a right to know.

So if you're just flirting, there's no need to tell them.

^This

Flirting is one thing, but I think when it comes to actually going on more than one date, it's probably a good idea to get some things out up front because the longer it goes on the worse the potential is for it to not be taking well.

Quote from: Alexmakenoise on September 08, 2010, 07:06:50 PM
My general guideline for determining when it's necessary to disclose personal information:  If it's not going to affect them, they don't need to know.  If it IS going to affect them, they do have a right to know.

So if you're just flirting, there's no need to tell them.

That's basically how I am about it...

Idk about other girls, but if you hit on me, I don't think I'd care what's in your pants. You look really cute, if that's you in your avatar. I don't think it needs to be brought up early in a relationship but if you think it's going to be long term or something where sex would be brought up, I do think they should know. You'll find a great girl bb.

I think it all depends on your situation. I've never been able to pass so I haven't been there. I would say you wouldn't have to say anything until things get serious (if they do).

Thank you so much to everybody, I guess its just something that I want to be real about but on the other hand, I am a dude..I don't see where it matters what in my pants like most of you said! I guess I just was wondering how others feel about it as well. I remember having a talk with my older sister about it, and she says that she thinks its wrong for me not to be like "Hey whatsup I'm crystal but you can call me Kris" and I tried telling her, why do I need to tell people that arent close to me. Why can't I just be like "hey whatsup I'm kris, its nice to meet you" now if they were to ask..."Hey kris...were you born girl" i wouldn't lie about it, I would tell, yes. I just don't want to put my ->-bleeped-<- on blast. Thanks again to everyone.

Quote from: KimberlyJean on September 08, 2010, 10:05:38 PM
Idk about other girls, but if you hit on me, I don't think I'd care what's in your pants. You look really cute, if that's you in your avatar. I don't think it needs to be brought up early in a relationship but if you think it's going to be long term or something where sex would be brought up, I do think they should know. You'll find a great girl bb.

Yeah thats really me. Thank you that makes me smile to know that other people actually think I'm cute.

Quote from: Alexmakenoise on September 08, 2010, 07:06:50 PM
My general guideline for determining when it's necessary to disclose personal information:  If it's not going to affect them, they don't need to know.  If it IS going to affect them, they do have a right to know.

So if you're just flirting, there's no need to tell them.

Your right and thats how I'm going to start looking at it!

Quote from: Rayalisse on September 08, 2010, 06:48:38 PM
I generally don't talk about my genitals with people in casual conversation.

lol very true.

Quote from: Kris on September 08, 2010, 10:59:22 PM
Yeah thats really me. Thank you that makes me smile to know that other people actually think I'm cute.

She's right. You're very cute on your avatar so don't worry...

Quote from: Fencesitter on September 08, 2010, 11:26:46 PM
She's right. You're very cute on your avatar so don't worry...

Yeah and another thing, I'm assuming you're talking to a girl and you tell her your trans and she says she's not gay, you don't need to involve yourself with people who see you as a woman. You are a man and it is sad that people don't respect that. I don't think people really understand how big a deal gender is to some.