This topic is about the mirror and how it plays with our mind.

I've noticed that since my high school graduation pictures how ugly I am in pictures.  I'm Italian and I developed terribly in male puberty.  The nose is huge and very masculine, there's a thick brow ridge hanging over my small brown eyes, the chin is vertically long, I have a V shaped jawline that no woman has, and I have a high guys' forehead.  I have only one good angle and that's my face from the right side.  What's worse is that when I smile in pictures it's crooked and I look like an ugly geek, not attractive at all.  I'm convinced that I'm ugly because in video I look the way I do in the pictures.

However, despite all this, I usually always see a different person in the mirror.  A person that's young, still a teenager, a boy instead of a man, with a rounder face.  Only because of this reflection in the mirror am I able to see a woman staring back at me when I dress up.  The difference between the way I look in the mirror and how I actually do look is so different.  I've even noticed that people standing behind me in the mirror stare at me as if to say, "You look different."

What sucks of course is that I can't switch the two.  My only option is to get plastic surgery to make them look equal, like most people do.  I think if you look pretty in the mirror, you should look the same in pictures, but I have a very asymmetrical face, especially my chin and jaw.  This has prevented me from passing.  I wonder had I started this process ten years ago when my face was young and not masculinized so badly through male puberty if it would be so much easier to pass.

I've also taken pictures to prove these unbelievable differences.  Why do I look so different in the mirror?  Is it the lighting in my bathroom?  How can I explain to a plastic surgeon that I want to look like I do in the mirror?

Some of it may just be how you are projecting. When you are looking in a mirror you are projecting your female self. You are not doing that in a photo.

Of course if you were younger it would be easier, that is the same for all of us and often a source of much regret. But somethings can only happen in the time it does.

Trangenderism sucks.

Hugs!

[quote author=sysm29 The difference between the way I look in the mirror and how I actually do look is so different.  I've even noticed that people standing behind me in the mirror stare at me as if to say, "You look different."
[/quote]

can you post some pix for us to see?

Offhand one reason you see a difference is that you might be a reptilian shapeshifter destined to be the Antichrist.

One reason I can think of is that the mirror reverses left and right while pictures don't. Since we all have some facial asymmetry, you may just be finding that the asymmetry is more flattering or less obvious when you see it in the "mirrored" direction than in the "photo" direction.

I think I can identify with the way you're feeling. When I was younger I considered myself to be evil ad all my thoughts to be evil. Therefore, when I saw myself I saw an ugly evil person.

I would suggest you take a look at the images you dislike and try to understand why.

You have mentioned a few points, but since these also appear on others who are not ugly, why are they so ugly on you?

I appreciate that you don't like these being on you, but, with respect, that is not the same thing. It's just inappropriate.

This is really quite important. Until you learn to accept and respect yourself you can't really, successfully make any changes you seek.

Many people seem to have a "mirror expression" that has been honed over years.  They look in the mirror and automatically adopt the expression that is, perhaps, their most flattering.  I wonder if you are doing the same?  So the expression you pull when you look in the mirror is just more like how you would want to see yourself.

This might be why photographs and videos of ourselves always look so horrbily objective.  We don't have the chance to look in the mirror and tweak our presentation.

Just a thought...

My partner was attractive but didn't photograph well.  Her attractiveness came mainly from her animation - her liveliness.  Often that doesn't come across in a photograph.

I've noticed that when I look in the mirror I tend to see what I want to see and can filter out a lot that a camera doesn't.  And perhaps I can hone the expression and angle as I'm shifting around in the mirror - something you aren't able to do when being photographed unless there's a mirror behind the camera.

- Kate

I notice that the mirror propped against the window over my mothers bathroom sink is very flattering. 
The daylight is from the north too and the room has only that one small window and not much light comes through the door so the background to my reflection is a bit dark.
In my situation it might be that the light is very directional and soft and smooths out the facial features in exactly the way photographers arrange lighting to make female celebs look to have lovely smooth complexions.
Other mirrors in mothers house or my apartment don't give the same result and I don't have any north facing windows here.