Ok my 1st appiontment was today. Was very very nerves anyways. Wenyt pretty gd. The doc I saw said that he would be happy to put me on hormones once they get a secend appintion. But he said there r 2 thing I need to do. Tell my dad, and changed my name. But for some reson Iv been a lil low. I was happy after and everythink as he gave me positive feedback. But for some reson I didn't filll posertive. Like I ssid on privease boards iv been kinda confused. Since I watch that documentry 2/3 years ago iv been filling this is what happning this is what's goin on with me. But for some reson today iv been really really scared. Like am I sure scared am I doing the riight thing. I tolked to my mum and she said she thinks its becuase eveythink is happning kinda fast. I thought I have to go to lots and lotss of doc before hormones. But he said all I need is one more person to aggree. As he said his more then happy to give me the go ahead. Anyways mum think that today is a reality check that I'm scared cuz it is happning. And its such a big desition that I'm scared and worred I may regret or not what it. Ect I think that hormones would make me a happyer person. And I would be very happy with the changes. But latley I'm like is this reallyy what I want. I don't now if anyone felt like this at all. I don't now wether its just me being scared and nervase about things and now its happning its soreal u now. I love being maale and I love being agnoliged as male. And childhood stuff after watching that documentry somthink click. I dunno. But I guess if I every dissliked changes when taking hormones I can stop then. I think that would be the thig that will make me relise this s what I. Wnnt and need. I don't now why I'm thinking this when I never did before after any other appiontments. I was on top of the world every other time :p stuped me right now I fill like a little boy. With chesticals lol

Glad your appointment went well Hazard. I think your just having worries cos everything is now within touching distance. Hope you manage to sort it out- and on another note am i the only UK guy at a clinic who hasnt even mentioned a time scale for hormones yet?

My suggestion is to hold off on hormones till your sure. You have about 3 months to think about it anyway I presume till your next appointment.

After my first appointment I was so happy but a few days after, knowing that hormones were not far away my mind went into overdrive and I had a few doubts. I've had my second appointment and Dr Barrett said he would write a letter to my gp to tell her to give me T, this is a huge step but I no longer have doubts I just needed time to really think this through. The wait for the 1st appointment was so long it kinda felt like it would never happen so it felt like one of those things you would love to happen but doesn't but after realising it was happening I needed to think and ask myself was T really for me.

Al: haven't you already had like 3 appointments? I was told in my first app that I would probably get T on my second and I have been given the ok now and just need my gp to get the letter.

@ Nathan. Yep already had three apps with a gender psychiatrist now been passed to a gender clinic had my first app there and now waiting for another app that involves my other half. Oh well , patience patience

No I went to my GP and she tryed to get me straight to charing cross but I had to see a dr smith in my local area. And he. Then about 2.3 mths later I got aletter saying I got a appintment in jan. But that had to be cancalled and then they rebooked it for june that got cancaled ccuz doc was on holiday. Then I got sep. So that was my 1st one with gender clinic. I'm not surr why I had them filling my mum seems to think that now its hit reality and its like I want to make my mind sure this is what I want.what I'm thinkking in my mind is I have to be male I think act like male ect ect. And would love to look more male but I'm not sure if I would fill the same on T. For ecsaple.. I like the idea in my head but I'm scared that when it happends I might not. But I guess I have to figger that out. He asked if I could get a bloood test. I was going to get it done that day but the reseptionest said my GP can do it. I fill like I'm making the right chose as I look back on how recked I was when my appointments were cancaled. I was bad I felt like my life was over. So this must mean a lot to me. Ect. I think I m just going tho a moment were things fill soreal. I think I thought it would be a verryyyy long road to hormoneds. But the way he talked to me afterwords he said he was pretty posertive and thought I was pretty grounded and I was sencerbal in trying to get my family involved and tellin people but he said the nest thing is changing my name. And telling my dad... But I have been thinkin about the name aj as that is my fairst and second inicals or maybe jamie as its close to amy... Its gunna be waired but I think that will make things easyer as in me being sure as I never done that before I went to appiontment then I think it made it stay a fantersey I'm scared I think more then anythink. So I'm thinking changin it and that will either aggree with my mind or diss agreee what. I mean is if I can't cope with that then the rest is gunna be bad. U now. Well I think I really should do that. Its gunna be wired. Will iv got till murch to pull myself together