This is my first post here, I've been trying to figure myself out...
Well, I was born male, but never felt male, around 3-4 years ago I came out as transsexual and started transitioning to female. At first when I dressed as a girl I was really girly, but that didn't really feel right, and I dress more like a tomboy now. I've been on hormones for over a year and I feel alot better than I did before I was on them, so I know that they are right for me. I've been around transsexuals and I've noticed that I don't really have much in common with them. Well at first I felt that I wanted SRS, and then I felt I didn't need it, and now I don't want it. I guess I'm kinda confused about alot of things lately. I definetly don't feel male, but I also don't feel completely female. I think I feel about 3/4 female and 1/4 male, or something like that. I've also had an orchiectomy in July, and have had some laser facial hair removal. I plan on finishing the facial hair removal and possibly doing some other body hair removal. I don't plan on any other surgeries, though sometimes I kinda wish I had both male and female parts, or a combination of both.  I haven't legally changed my name yet, but I plan on changing it to Valerie, one reason I like it is I can be called "Val" which can be a male or female name. When I go out as female, I dress kinda like a tomboy, I actually could wear all the clothes as a male. It kinda confuses me sometimes, I transitioned to female, but I don't dress girly... Well this is the first time I'm talking about this to anyone, I'm just trying to figure myself out I guess.

Hi Val!  Glad you decided to join us and share yourself with us.

Figuring yourself out is no easy matter.  It usually takes a great deal of time and effort, along with guidance from someone who knows what they are doing.  If you are not already, I encourage you to talk to a good gender therapist.

Feeling not completely male and not completely female is a common theme for most Androgynes.  Only you know if this fits you.  You may just be a "tomboy" who happens to have been born male (whatever that means).

Anyway, welcome!  Don't be shy!  Ask questions, add your opinions, have fun while you learn about yourself.  As Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living"

....Laurie

Hello & Welcome, Valerie!

We all fall on different spots in the gender continuum.  I'm moving towards transition and I don't really know for sure if I'll stop before I get there or if I'll go all the way.  But it's all good.  I started HRT 11 weeks ago and the difference it's made in how I feel already is just amazing to me.

Susan's is a great site for support, information and advice.  I found alot here to help me and I'm sure you will too.  I hope I'll be reading more from you soon and I'm again happy to say,

WELCOME ! ! 
helen

Thank god I'm not the only one...   

Welcome Val,
I guess going all the way (via transition + SRS) to a sex that doesnt fully fit who you (your gender) are, is almost the same confusion and feeling of being trapped as being born a sex with an opposing gender. Well except that transitioning is payed for.

The existence of a gender continuum made up of different mixtures and varieties of gender, leads people to different places. I am still on my journey finding out new facets of my personage.

I myself am a intergendered androgyne with some developed breasts from hrt. And the point to where I have reached feels like finally to a point where I can live with  my sexuality and being. Although only a few androgynes do hrt, its something I did also as a part of my gender.

The therapist was great with some of the legal aspects and logistics, although the parts of my gender I sort of already knew about before even talking to her.

Anyway, welcome again. I look forward to reading more posts.

Ken/Kendra

Valerie, if it helps any there's a certain Gender Outlaw who transitioned fully to a woman and then discovered that while she was happiest being a woman she still has some "flexibility" to her gender. So while having the outside reflect the real you is great, the outside and the inside don't have to be in lockstep.

Welcome to Susan's. This is a great place to figure yourself out and share experiences.

I do have a therapist, but he doesn't know much about this kinda stuff. I don't know of any therapists that are close and accept my insurance. I am feeling better than I did when I made that post though. Hmmm I can't think of much else to say right now, I'm glad I found a place about this though.

Ask for a referral. Since you already have a therapist he may have a better idea of who will and who won't be a good fit for you.

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. Sometimes just being able to say something takes a lot of weight off.