So, I had discovered I was transsexual late in life but had always knew something was wrong. I had a lot of defense mechanisms built in against things like feeling defenseless, vulnerable, not in control, etc. Anything that would rob me of my 'masculinity'. However, a lot of these walls have been coming down and I am finding a lot of the things I feared before now extremely pleasant.

I have a good friend who is a bisexual male. I met him back in March just after I went full time at work. He seemed infatuated with my transition and we ended up being good friends. When we are out together we hug and kiss and flirt all the time with each other. He also loves to give my ass a super hard swat. It is just a fun thing he does, I guess. I found I actually liked it! So, anyways, last night we were facing each other and talking and he slapped my in the face. Hard enough to make it sting. That is the first time anyone has ever slapped my face and to be honest, while I wasn't expecting it, I just found it incredibly erotic. I had a huge smile on my face afterwards.

I am still trying to figure out what it was about the slap that I liked. Now, if someone slapped me in the face because they were mad that is a different story. Anyone else experience something like this? Please share your thoughts!

Hugs

Sounds like someone's a bit of a masochist.

As long as you don't get bruises and he's not doing it violently and stops when you say stop then I don't see an issue with things like that.

ummm I see a danger that this may need to be moved into the sexuality area... but yes spank me nicely and you certainly get my attention so to speak... 

I'd dived into this topic thinking "uh-oh, are you okay?", but I'm relieved and quite impressed now.

I can't speak from my own experience - none to speak of yet! - but I can certainly appreciate the appeal. Fair play to ya! Have fun exploring, if it's something you fancy doing.

Having come from an emotionally abusive relationship.  I see red flags all over the place.  The swat to the butt might be just play, but to the face would be ground of telling him to hit the road.

Be very very careful.  When you let them get away with the little hits, they think it is OK to really hit you.  And you begin to think it was deserved.

All I'm going to say is that I watched the film 'Secretary' with a bunch of girlfiends and watching eyes light up the room, it's not all that uncommon, haha!!

That said, as Janet has mentioned, there is a world of difference between 'play' and abuse. I hope that you make this absolutely clear to him early on.

TC   M x

*snickers*

I think know that I like a lil' spank sometimes but I don't picture me reacting well to being slapped

Like Janet, I see red flags and possibly green ones.

These types of relationships can be fun, they can be rewarding, they can be safe.

But only if you are in control.

And more importantly, if he is in control of himself.

If he hits because he is being erotic, then, so long as you enjoy it, it's fine.

But if he hits because he needs to dominate, then get out.

I'm sorry, but some people have a lot of anger inside.

My girlfriend and I are like this *Blushes* One key thing to have when in a relationship like this is to have a safe word. This is a word that you have, that's not an everyday word, that you can remember for when things might go a bit too far for you and you need things to stop NOW. It's VERY important when getting into the...(this avenue of...relationship. Trying my hardest not to get too graphic) that you communicate about it first and get all the cards out on the table. That is if you're headed that way. If it's only a slap however, and won't happen again, then remember the time with fondness =)

Quote from: Bones on September 14, 2010, 04:18:23 PM
My girlfriend and I are like this *Blushes* One key thing to have when in a relationship like this is to have a safe word. This is a word that you have, that's not an everyday word, that you can remember for when things might go a bit too far for you and you need things to stop NOW. It's VERY important when getting into the...(this avenue of...relationship. Trying my hardest not to get too graphic) that you communicate about it first and get all the cards out on the table. That is if you're headed that way. If it's only a slap however, and won't happen again, then remember the time with fondness =)

I have a magic word.. "I'm going to kick you in the nuts". Well, maybe not one word but you get the point.

LMAO Dana! That made me laugh outloud. I bet my girlfriend will like that one. But yeah..this isn't for everyone..that's a definate

Speaking as an Dom, I would suggest if this is play for you to think of a safe word for if things get to much for you to stop things all together and a safe word to slow things down if need be. And you need to know your limits and other things and go over everything with him. If he just slapped and spanked you out of anger or any reason other than what you and he considers play and he is just plain being abusive leave him. An abusive relationship isn't no good all it does iis hurt in more ways than speaking from past exp.

Quote from: Dana Lane on September 14, 2010, 04:28:03 PM
I have a magic word.. "I'm going to kick you in the nuts". Well, maybe not one word but you get the point.

Well done Dana.

You sound like you are still in control. 

So you liked it? Cool. But I think this is a side issue here.

My concern is that he just out of the blue slapped you. Why would anyone do that?

Maybe he's into "violent sex" and is "testing the water" with you?

It kinda tripped me out when I learned that a couple of my friends were into that... They'd bite, claw and beat the stuff out of each other during sex and then be all like "That was great"

I think it's okay if consenting adults enjoy safe versions of this.  On the other hand, if he just did it without warning and without asking for permission, that's creepy and potentially dangerous.  Sure, it might turn you on, but if he thinks he doesn't need to ask, there might be something wrong with him.

Have fun, but be careful doing so.

Well I don't know... Sex for me always had to be and always will have to be a beautiful, spiritual experience. And while I'm okay when someone (not my partner though) likes these kind of things, they certainly don't fall into the "beautiful" category so I'm off

But I agree with others, be careful Dana if you go further!

g

I have to agree with Dee

QuoteThe first time ANYONE raises a hand towards me that's it, game over, buh bye...

This action could lead to abuse very quickly.
Careful hon.

Jillieann