I have been seeing other girls around my area, but I havn't been able to really say anything. I am a little affraid that they may think that I am calling them out or something. Just looking for friends near me that I can talk to. what can I do about this?

Silver cross and wooden stick!

Finding new friends is always a good thing. But perhaps you should look into your existing friends if you want to find someone to talk to.

I would suggest finding a Trans group in your area.
That would be safer and less scary for other girls like us.
Jillieann

I was lucky.  I found the website of a post-op woman in my area (well, not too far away), and I emailed her to thank her for all the stuff she posted on her website.  This was early in my journey, and I was very glad to be able to read her story.  We struck up a friendship by email, and before I knew it, we were meeting in real life.  Our friendship extended to real life, and she has since introduced me to two other good friends.  The original one has also been a good mentor, and a great help.  I would say that if you can approach someone discreetly, and let them know of your journey, you may just find a valuable resource and a good friend.  The worst that can happen is that they rebuff your overture, but in that case (assuming it's done nicely), you're no worse off than you are at first.  Also, by all means look around for a good trans support group in your area.  They can also be a great resource.  Good luck!

A simple "Hello, how ya doin'?" with a smile tends to work with most folks trans or not

I have had one bad experence that is why I am asking. I was looking for trans group in Houston. I went to ask a gril queston and just asking offended her. I still look like a man so I think it upset her because I could tell or something that she was trans. I did not even get to ask the queston. I said that I was sorry and walked a way from her.

Quote from: laineyjain on September 20, 2010, 05:14:08 PM
I have had one bad experence that is why I am asking. I was looking for trans group in Houston. I went to ask a gril queston and just asking offended her. I still look like a man so I think it upset her because I could tell or something that she was trans. I did not even get to ask the queston. I said that I was sorry and walked a way from her.

This is possibly why a simple meet and greet or even just a wave and smile is a good starting point

Everyone is different... Some folks are very open while others may be rather uptight

Some will tell you their life's story the moment you meet... Others may take some time to get to know... Still others may be complete recluses

You never know really... So just be a friendly face and don't take it too hard if someone reacts negatively

I agree too it is good to meet other girls in a trans group.   A good and safe environment to meet other girls. I think many girls may get scared or offended if a stranger ask them something about trans.  Girls work so hard to try to pass in the public and very sensitive about how public sees them... if someone she does't know ask her if she is trans or even some indirect question about trans,  its not unusual to expect she may be upset and feel like being spotted or outed in the public. 

Tehre is simply no way to politely let a trans person know that you have read them.  That's all there is to it.  You can't broach the subject.  There are avenues for meeting other T peeps in your area, and that's local groups.  If there isn't one, start one.  Use meetup.com, etc.

What if your like me... Nearly completely isolated... There is no trans group and resources are rather scarce and the only option you have is to randomly meet someone and hope it goes well?

Quote from: Virginia Marie on September 20, 2010, 06:31:17 PM
What if your like me... Nearly completely isolated... There is no trans group and resources are rather scarce and the only option you have is to randomly meet someone and hope it goes well?

Is she wearing a t-shirt that says, "Hi, I'm a ->-bleeped-<-!  Ask me about my Hot Mess!" If not, I wouldn't count on it going well.  And you might be the reason she slits her wrists later that evening.

Quote from: glendagladwitch on September 20, 2010, 06:33:33 PM
Is she wearing a t-shirt that says, "Hi, I'm a ->-bleeped-<-!  Ask me about my Hot Mess!" If not, I wouldn't count on it going well.  And you might be the reason she slits her wrists later that evening.

Jeepers... You just have such a way of making folks feel so good and supported by one of the few resources they have 

well I am no specialist, but I would say that you should approach them as a human being. I can tell you that from my own experience, that you will get a lot further with a trans if you use the appropriate reference to gender, I.e., girl, miss, she etc etc. And I dont know about anyone else, but I NEVER giva a man the time of day if he talks  to me from his car, that is what john's do,,,,tacky, tacky, tacky

good luck to you!   

Quote from: laineyjain on September 20, 2010, 05:14:08 PM
I have had one bad experence that is why I am asking. I was looking for trans group in Houston. I went to ask a gril queston and just asking offended her. I still look like a man so I think it upset her because I could tell or something that she was trans. I did not even get to ask the queston. I said that I was sorry and walked a way from her.

Yes, but who asks a perfect strange a question unless it's street directions?  It's a good idea to imagine how it will be way down the track, would you like to be asked questions by some random guy in the street? 

I agree with Virginia, just be friendly as you would be with anyone else.  I also agree with glenda, unless they're wearing a t-shirt that says 'Hi, I'm a ->-bleeped-<-!' besides smiling and saying hello, any questions would be out of the question.

*Orders new top from custom tee shirt place* 

But yeah, the questions can come later after you've made friends and both are comfortable with asking each other questions... Much like a friendship with anyone 

I've wondered that myself.  I have run across a trans woman in the supermarket, but I am unsure about approaching her.

She seems kind enough, but it does seem somewhat rude to go up and say, "Hi!  Are you a trans woman?  I am too!".

I don't know how I would feel if someone came up to me and said the same thing to me.

Ah well, I'll just let it lie for right now.

-Sandy

I'd wondered this myself, at a Pride march and parade a couple of weeks ago. I settled or the 'knowing and friendly smile' with my fellow trans attendees. Even in a place where we're made to feel safe and proud about who we are, I thought it best to exercise the same social greetings as goths would use. Just because you look a certain way and that person does too, there's not necessarily much in common - unless in gothy circles, you fancy the look of their boots and would like to know where they can be bought.

The benefit here is that it's friendly, but non-committal. Smile to a quite open person and the likelihood is they'll say "hi" back, and thus you have a normal conversation. Otherwise the odds are you'll get a smile back, and then you carry on. I've found that if I see somebody regularly like that, say on the bus, we'll end up talking eventually.

The other day, a Turkish trans woman sat down beside me in the tram, together with a friend of hers who also was trans. She talked with  a third, GG woman there, in Turkish, about my endocrinologist (I heard his name in the conversation over and over again). Both trans women had a very good passing in the sense that trans people can spot them, others not. They did not get "read" by anyone else in the tram, and they did not seem to have "read" me either.

I almost felt like I wanted to say something about me being trans as well. But it would have been very rude, like saying "you don't pass as well as you think". So I shut up. We were just a statistically incredibly unlikely amount of trans people in the tram that day.

I don't approach others about it.  On the other hand, I do make an effort to appear approachable to others, and generally act as friendly as possible.  If I happen to end up talking to another trans woman and she brings up the subject, that's extra cool, but I don't expect it.

Also, I kinda have this mental filter where I assume everyone else is cisgender unless they specifically say otherwise.  Basically, I do that to keep from reading people, and it helps with a lot of awkwardness.  (Although, in one case, this has kinda funny results.  There was a stranger in a sorta authority position, and I had to come out to her for a particular reason, and felt awkward.  So I kinda didn't look her in the eyes until the subject came up, then finally brought it up about ten minutes into the conversation, and noticed she was really supportive and knowledgeable about it.  Then I realized she was probably trans and I'd been worried for nothing, and at the end of the conversation she basically said she was.  I felt a little silly.)