It was a thumbs up at first cause yes she's respecting me and using the right pronouns..but I was wrong about everyone seeing me as male in that class..im not dumb, im not deaf, im not blind..I heard the giggles, the chatter, the questioning and all this is from 18&older people..well mainly from an older woman around 40. Once she said He after saying my name, cause im name is unisex leaning towards male, there was shock on peoples faces and I could hear the whispers. Like 'what, that's a guy?!'.. I just looked down and tried not to feel embarrassed.
I could hear them talking! The older lady was in a group with a guy and 2 girls. She says that's a guy, nooo I thought it was a girl. And then the girls were like yeah, cause they had he'd me before and had originally seen me as male. So the older lady starts saying stuff of why im not male. The girls ask the guy to look up, and he's just ignoring them cause they're being ignorant and he wants no part. They tell him just put your head up so I can look at your neck. They were checking his adam's apple. And one girl said yeah he has is, do I have it. Then the older lady said no girls don't have it only guys do.
So I could feel them and see them at my peripheral's staring at me. Looking me up and down trying to study me to look for male and female clues. You do not know how uncomfortable I was!
I was confident, I wasn't so self-conscious..but now im going to have to be super self-conscious to make sure I don't get questioned, im going to have to make sure im super flat and that my curves don't show. Im not going to be confident at all, cause apparently im not 'male' enough to not question me. And im going to have to keep lying about my age if they ask. Cause I heard one of them say no I don't want to ask. They were having a discussion about me, and whether I was male or not..and I guess they wanted to ask..but why would you question the teacher. Idk, am I over reacting and thinking too much about it?
I thought itd be a relief for her to finally he me publicly so any confusion would be cleared up, but apparently it just brought up questions and doubt...
I won't come out as transgender.. Cause I know how people think, once you tell them you were born female THEY WILL ALWAYS SEE YOU AS A FEMALE. and it sucks cause I don't look asian enough to blame it on that. Why, why must I be so short and small..and why must I have such a high voice..

Quote from: Femboy on September 21, 2010, 03:35:59 PM
I won't come out as transgender.. Cause I know how people think, once you tell them you were born female THEY WILL ALWAYS SEE YOU AS A FEMALE. and it sucks cause I don't look asian enough to blame it on that. Why, why must I be so short and small..and why must I have such a high voice..

I'm sorry but I don't think this is true in fact I know it isn't. It might feel this way now and young people in groups can be cruel but hang in there. If you choose to go the path of physical transition eventually anyone calling you a girl will just look an idiot. I know how it feels, I don't pass. But I am older and most the people I have told are happy to make the effort to refer to me as male whether they see me so or not.

Gah I hated those conversations.. always happened about me back in junior high/high school.. people wouldn't even try to hide the fact. Some one would be like.. who's that boy.. and someone who knew I was female would be like.. that's a girl. And then their argument would go on.. the person who didn't know the truth would be convinced that I was male and the other person would be argueing that I was a female despite my masculine looks.. sooooo awkward. And then if someone had the ballz enough to ask me.. I'd more often then not just ignore them or run away. *sigh*

While people don't have those conversations around me anymore.. I've found that a good way of signaling people what gender I am.. is making sure they see me heading into the guys bathroom - you might try that if there is a bathroom right outside of your class.. let them see you going in there..

Quote from: Tad on September 21, 2010, 04:55:36 PM
While people don't have those conversations around me anymore.. I've found that a good way of signaling people what gender I am.. is making sure they see me heading into the guys bathroom - you might try that if there is a bathroom right outside of your class.. let them see you going in there..

The thing is, I haven't really started using the men's restroom yet. Im not quite comfortable because I still sit to pee, im going to try to start using my stp packer again. So while im there I just don't go lol.

But that what one thing I was thinking about doing, except if someone sees me go in and follows me they'll see me sit in the stall..or if I stand to go, they'll probably look over and try to see my junk..

Also I was thinking since im so hairy and don't shave anymore, ill try showing off my legs. But what if they just think "hairy girl".
:/

Quote from: Femboy on September 21, 2010, 05:05:29 PM
The thing is, I haven't really started using the men's restroom yet. Im not quite comfortable because I still sit to pee, im going to try to start using my stp packer again. So while im there I just don't go lol.

But that what one thing I was thinking about doing, except if someone sees me go in and follows me they'll see me sit in the stall..or if I stand to go, they'll probably look over and try to see my junk..

Also I was thinking since im so hairy and don't shave anymore, ill try showing off my legs. But what if they just think "hairy girl".
:/

Lots of guys sit to pee.. or take a crap or masturbate in public bathrooms. What you're doing in there isn't any of there business.. they don't care lolz. It'd be super creepy if they did. Secondly... if you know how to use your stp.. there's no shame in using it in a stall... I only use urinals when I know the bathroom is deserted.. because.. getting the stp in place makes me feel like I'm spending a little too much time playing with my junk down there in  a public place (if you catch my drift)  . But if you have a packy stp.. what's the matter if they do happen to look over? Chances are they'll look over for .02 seconds.. and to see some kind of fleshy bit down there peeing will be good enough for them unless it's some weird color like purple.

First, people suck. Seriously! I mean, you say some of these people were older they should have known better than to clearly have a conversation about someone on an inappropriate topic like what gender they are within that person's earshot. It's rude, plain and simple and it's their bad - not yours. I would have half a notion to turn around and say something. But then again I've gotten bolder the older I've gotten. I sat through many situations like that in middle school and high school. Everyone thought I was male, no questions asked, until a teacher used my name in class.

And don't feel like you have to be hyper aware for the rude people. F--k them, seriously. There are plenty of biomales out there with "feminine" features. There's guys who barely shave, there's guys who have hips or girlish type figures, there's even guys that wear eyeliner or other make up and aren't trans. For me, the harder I try to fit in to preconceived notions, the more it upsets me.

And people do not need to know your trans either. I know some people are "out and proud" and that's great if it works for them. It never worked for me and it doesn't sound like it works for you either. Sometimes if I'm in the mood to do it after someone calls me a she, I say, "uh, I'm a dude" and they go, "oh sorry" or something like that and just drop it usually.

I know it's difficult to have the confidence when you know people are questioning, but it's still other people's opinions and other people's standards you're trying to fit yourself into. Do what you can to make your comfort level go up but know in your mind that you are what you are and those people are rude.

Quote from: Femboy on September 21, 2010, 03:35:59 PM
The girls ask the guy to look up, and he's just ignoring them cause they're being ignorant and he wants no part. They tell him just put your head up so I can look at your neck. They were checking his adam's apple. And one girl said yeah he has is, do I have it. Then the older lady said no girls don't have it only guys do.

Lies  I've got one. I often heard this too (it's died down since going to Uni though). Sometimes I think it's just paranoia, like if I hear laughter I'll NEED to know if it's about me (usually it's something else). If there's muffled chatter, sometimes I'll think I hear "is that a guy or a girl?" and a response in either direction, but once again I'm not sure if it's just the paranoia  . On the "hairy girl" thing, I worry about that too  so I rarely wear shorts around people who think I'm female, though I've had my pants pulled UP on numerous occasions (I have odd acquaintances) and I'd just attribute it to "hibernation"  (in the colder months I think girls cut down on shaving daily? not sure....never really have  ).
I've had people place bets on me saying "do you think that's a guy or a girl?" and one reason I'm so self-conscious about my walk now is because I had heard a guy say "a girl....look at the walk"  ugh. I also hate when you have friends/family that "correct" others by "she"-ing loudly .
It's amazing to see the lengths people'll go to find out though. I had a tough time in driving school classes where no one knew me. They'd badger me daily for my driver's license just to see the sex marker on it, but I'd always say I left it at home. So one day.....they made a crude questionaire asking your name, "gender" (subtle right?), and email, which I'm guessing was supposed to be a get-to-know-other-kids-type thing. I was sick of their badgering so I just filled it out (they had their group fill it out so it made it less "obvious"  ). So as soon as I filled it out....they SNATCHED it from me....didn't give it to anyone else....and needless to say, I didn't get any friend requests from them....not my kind of crowd anyway.
I was really upset at the time....but in hindsight, it's really amusing how caught-up people can get and the lengths they'll go just to get a "solid" answer for something ambiguous.
But, yeah comments like these make me lose faith in humanity  . I've gotten more forgiving though.

Quote from: Tad on September 21, 2010, 05:10:30 PM
Secondly... if you know how to use your stp.. there's no shame in using it in a stall... I only use urinals when I know the bathroom is deserted.. because.. getting the stp in place makes me feel like I'm spending a little too much time playing with my junk down there in  a public place (if you catch my drift)  . But if you have a packy stp.. what's the matter if they do happen to look over? Chances are they'll look over for .02 seconds.. and to see some kind of fleshy bit down there peeing will be good enough for them unless it's some weird color like purple.

Haha thanks for that advice
I feel the same about taking a long time playing with my junk. Oh true, its kind of a pale color lol not pink tho :p

Quote from: insideontheoutside on September 21, 2010, 11:06:49 PM
And don't feel like you have to be hyper aware for the rude people. F--k them, seriously. There are plenty of biomales out there with "feminine" features. There's guys who barely shave, there's guys who have hips or girlish type figures, there's even guys that wear eyeliner or other make up and aren't trans. For me, the harder I try to fit in to preconceived notions, the more it upsets me.

And people do not need to know your trans either. I know some people are "out and proud" and that's great if it works for them. It never worked for me and it doesn't sound like it works for you either. Sometimes if I'm in the mood to do it after someone calls me a she, I say, "uh, I'm a dude" and they go, "oh sorry" or something like that and just drop it usually.

I know it's difficult to have the confidence when you know people are questioning, but it's still other people's opinions and other people's standards you're trying to fit yourself into. Do what you can to make your comfort level go up but know in your mind that you are what you are and those people are rude.

Wow thanks man I really needed that. I gotta stop caring so much, and worrying so much, and just do me. I just get caught up in ppls perceptions of me, and acceptance as a male from the world. :/

Quote from: Meepit on September 21, 2010, 11:15:00 PM
But, yeah comments like these make me lose faith in humanity  . I've gotten more forgiving though.

Rly? Bomb, lucky. Yeah I heard its mainly guys but I know girls who have them.
I used to have pretty bad paranoia back in the day cause I was bullied and id always think ppl were making fun of me cause I got used to it.
Yeah man we just gotta stop worrying so much I guess, about what others think and say unless we care about them.
Yup I don't rly wear shorts because of it :/ and it sucks.
Man, ppl are shallow. I don't understand it.
Yeah, that always happens to me with my family too
Yup, I agree.

I've gotten stray-comments from family as well  not only about being masculine-looking, but just general comments about appearance. (Sorry to be the downer all the time  ). I'd be singing a song written by a guy about a girl or something....just having a good time....and my cousin would mutter something like "wow....you really are a ->-bleeped-<-/lesbian/like that....". Meh, I've just focused on family members who give unconditional love and who actually deserve it back cuz I agree about the "stop caring about what others think and say unless we care about them".

Eh that's terrible.

Today I someone asked to see my schedule- some guy I didn't know. So embarrassing, because even if he doesn't say it or act like it, I know he's confused about my gender because male name+female looking body.

I hate having my gender under such scrutiny all the time Hang in there!

Quote from: Silver on September 22, 2010, 12:44:06 AM
Today I someone asked to see my schedule- some guy I didn't know.

That's downright rude and did he even try to play it off as anything else or just went in as obvious as anything  ? That's one of the reasons I cross out/black out my names on schedules and stuff until I get a male one.

Quote from: Meepit on September 22, 2010, 01:01:58 AM
That's downright rude and did he even try to play it off as anything else or just went in as obvious as anything  ? That's one of the reasons I cross out/black out my names on schedules and stuff until I get a male one.

Actually, it has my male name and a nice "M" on it so I did show it.

Quote from: Silver on September 23, 2010, 10:45:29 AM
Actually, it has my male name and a nice "M" on it so I did show it.

Awesome  I have to get around to changing everything soontimes.

I hate people who do that to me. On my first night of night school (I got kicked out of day school) I was sitting in the classroom and this girl who I am now friends with came up to me and said "what's your name, boy" and I wanted to just say Kentrie and leave it at that but I knew they would find out eventually and get mad at me for not telling them so I told her my name and said I was a girl. She went back to the back of the classroom and I heard her say "that's a girl" and everyone laughed and I had a boy come up to me and aske me if I was a boy and the teacher said "leave him alone" and the boy said "She's not a he, she's a she" and I had to go out of class and talk to one of the counselors because I was humilated and shaking. I told them what I was and only one of the girls in my group will call me "he" my friend had an FTM friend so she calls me "he" which sounds unusual because I'm used to being called "she" but I like it, but I'm afraid to like it because all of my life my family has told me "You're a girl not a boy, act like a girl"

Quote from: kentrie1994 on September 28, 2010, 11:42:33 PM
I told them what I was and only one of the girls in my group will call me "he" my friend had an FTM friend so she calls me "he" which sounds unusual because I'm used to being called "she" but I like it, but I'm afraid to like it because all of my life my family has told me "You're a girl not a boy, act like a girl"

That sucks dude, im sorry you had to o through that very uncomfortable situation.
:/
But yeah its kinda hard to get used to at first. I feel you on that. All my life I've been told im a girl to act look dress talk walk like a girl to like boys etc typical societal ways. And its been brainwashed into and stuck in my brain. So when I was young and ppl would he me I was taught to be offended. But once I started thinking for myself I didn't care and came to like it. Im still trying to get used to my preferred name and pronouns. You'll get more comfy with it in time

I'm in the I don't care part. I haven't gotten used to it yet though.

Oh Jesus Christ, I hope the ringleader of that conversation falls down the stairs. That is incredibly rude. If they do it again, go ahead and tell them you can hear them, they'll shut right the [word forbidden] up.

Lol, they'd probably get really embarassed.

But I haven't had any other problems yet. No one has came up to me and asked me anything, I haven't heard any chitter chatter. So im hoping everybodys got it straight that im a guy.