I transitioned three years ago, and before then I identified as a lesbian.  When I meet straight women, I'm totally disinterested...but if they're gay, that's a whole different ball game.  90% of the women I have fallen for since I transitioned are lesbians.  This is getting pretty inconvenient.  Plus, there's the whole LGBT connection that's hard to shake.  No matter how understanding straight people are, that level of understanding only exists with other members of the LGBT community.  Why aren't there lesbians out there who are straight?!  I fall for butch lesbians too...haven't had much luck with bisexual women, usually they're just college girls experimenting.

Maybe if I wasn't spending my Friday night listening to Sarah McLachlan and watching the L Word...

Anyways, any former lesbians out there?  How did you recover?  Do you still do a double take when you find out someone's a lesbian?

IDK --- I am hoping my lesbian partner will stay with me.  It's the one thing I am so nervous about starting my transition.....She is so important to me I can't imagine my life without her

Quote from: Quicksand on September 10, 2010, 09:32:04 PM
Why aren't there lesbians out there who are straight?!

Lol 

But yeah, I know how you feel. I'm still usually more attracted to queer women than straight ones, although the last girl I dated identified as straight. What's also pretty inconvenient is that within the last year I've met more lesbians than I ever had before.. like where were they all before I transitioned?? I have met a few lesbians though that are open minded about being with a trans guy, and still treat me totally as male. So don't automatically rule them out, there are some out there that are cool w/ it.

I don't agree that LGBT are more understanding than straight people though. I've met understanding and ignorant people from both, it all depends on the person.

Yes,
DON'T completely rule them out.
Most people don't realize that their sexual orientations are fluid. Some do have their mind sets on one sex or gender though.
But many people these days are open to new things, its all about attraction.
I've had 2 lesbian identified females in my personal life fully accept me for who I am. They used the right name and pronouns and completely treated me like the guy that I am.
Its all in the person.

Yeah ... what @Kvall said. Identify what exactly it is and it might help you to then choose a way to deal with it.

I think "types" can certainly be fetishised by people. Certainly not implying you have a weird fetish for lesbians but by definition a fetish can be lots of things, including a quirky personality trait or a person.

Lots of straight guys are into lesbians...

More seriously, I agree that you should probably figure out exactly what it is. Is it that you're attracted to someone strongly, pursue her, and then find out that she's a lesbian? Or does the attraction start only after she's told you? Or are you attracted to a woman who pings your gaydar, but would still be attracted if you discovered it was a false positive?

I m very lucky in that although my partner got to know me as a 'female' she is bi sexual so when i told her the truth it really didn't faze her that much. However when i find my self looking at women in the street its usually the ones that ping my gaydar. Relationship wise tho its always been the straight or bi sexual women ive been involved with where its worked out best

I have found myself attracted mainly to stereotypically lesbian-looking women. After much self-doubting and ftm-second-guessing, I realized that because of my trans identity/background I am just very attracted to gender-bending in general. Also, living as a lesbian trained me to only check out girls once they passed the gaydar test. These two things may or may not apply to you, but my point is: liking lesbians and being ftm are not necessarily mutually exclusive. And, you're very much not alone.

I'm in a similar boat, but long ago realised it was a case of that I was simply not attracted to straight people. This works fine for being attracted to dudes nowadays since it's the bi's and gays whom are attracted to me, but girls... well I've had some luck with bi girls too, but I'm very much attracted to masculine/butch women and my experience has been that they're for the most part, not into dudes.

Also I really still enjoy lesbian stories/characters etc. I hate feeling like a pervy guy, but I figure hey, I used to be one so that gives me a special pass right?

Don't take this the wrong way,

But I never identified as that, and whenever lesbians hit on me I run as far and as fast as possible. To me it's an insult when they hit on me. The longer I'm on T, the less it happens. I'm now a gay man magnet...which is fine with me. There's nothing wrong with lesbians..but if they find me attractive or start chasing me, then I get extremely dysphoric and uncomfortable, cause I know why they want me (or the majority of them have the one reason you probably can guess). Maybe it's cause both my ex's turned out to be gay that I feel this strongly. Idk.

Quote from: kestin on September 12, 2010, 09:32:46 PMAlso I really still enjoy lesbian stories/characters etc. I hate feeling like a pervy guy, but I figure hey, I used to be one so that gives me a special pass right?

I suppose it does.  I never thought of it that way. just that i'm a perv

tbh i dont have a lot of advice (i've always been attracted to straight tomboys for some reason. mixed )
but what is it that turns you towards that? Just the 'can't have' thing, personality?

Quote from: Quicksand on September 10, 2010, 09:32:04 PM
When I meet straight women, I'm totally disinterested...but if they're gay, that's a whole different ball game. 

I totally hear you on this! Straight women, in general, do not interest me at all. The good thing is that the queer community seems to keep getting...queerer. More people are transitioning, more people are questioning gender and sexuality categories, and more people are willing to date people that they maybe wouldn't have in the past. Or at least that has been my observation.

Most lesbians I know don't understand me. There was one today who said I was a lesbian and one of my friends told her I was straight but she said I was just being FTM because I'm a christian and god condems homosexuality and that really made me angry because I'm not a girl and I'm not a lesbian. I tell lesbians what I am and they give me this really disgusted look.

Quote from: kentrie1994 on September 25, 2010, 01:15:36 AM
she said I was just being FTM because I'm a christian and god condems homosexuality and that really made me angry because I'm not a girl and I'm not a lesbian.

I think lesbians like that feel 'betrayed' in a sense, even though it's really hypocritical to be so closed minded like that. It doesn't help that in certain countries it's completely fine for people to get sex changes as long as they end up straight because being gay is illegal. For example, A gay man becoming a woman so s/he can date man legally.

It's too bad some people have that attitude.

Quote from: Quicksand on September 10, 2010, 09:32:04 PMAnyways, any former lesbians out there?  How did you recover?  Do you still do a double take when you find out someone's a lesbian?

Does it really matter, stop beating yourself up over it.