It has been six years since I had SRS, at the time I was not full-time and I went alone, telling no one what I was doing. I had lost the only woman I had ever been in love with (another transitioner). I was sort of in a state of shock when I went to have SRS. I felt very calm and peaceful, strangely peaceful.
When I woke up I didn't feel or think a whole lot, other than being hungry. I had an epidural so I wasn't as drugged up as some, the meds being more confined to the spinal cord area. Thinking back on that time however... It was like I had walked through a magical doorway that was leading me into a new life. I had done something more substantial than I knew and I would realize the implications over time. Magical discoveries that changed my ideas about transition, myself, life... what it is to be female.