This morning, my mom asked me why my chest is so flat. I told her about being trans, and she seemed perfectly okay with it. So I told her that I was wearing a binder. At first, she flipped out a little bit, but then asked me why I didn't tell her, in a manner which made me think that I hurt her feelings by not telling her I had bought one. This made me think. Are there any FTMs on here besides me who are still in their teen years or still living with their parents for other reasons? And to those guys, how do you bring up topics like buying a binder, packer, starting testosterone, etc?

Well, my mom is extremely intolerant of transpeople (thinks it's disgusting, calls us freaks, etc.) and said she would be beyond disappointed and disgusted if her child turned out to be transgendered/transsexual, so I live as female in public but crossdress when I'm home by myself and I live my online life as a male. That's how it will be until I move out when I'm eighteen.

I do, however, attempt to bind and hide my boobs (layer shirts and bras too small for me) all of the time, but my mom is also a very bad judge of characters and doesn't pay attention to people (if she really paid attention to the things I said, she wouldn't have been shocked to hear I'm bisexual - and she would know I'm transgendered from the things I've said about my body as I grew up.)

I'm on the same boat as you, sort of. I told my parents about being trans in early June. For a few months I had to wear sports bras to make my chest a little bit flat, and then when the school  year started, I talked to them a bit, and told them on how I'd like to get a binder. My dad said that if I'm going to bind, I ought to do it right, so they had told my that they'll get me a binder. As for packers, I talked to my mom a little bit, but she told me that she will not allow me to get a packer. And T, after a couple months of counsuling, my parents told me that I'll take a hormone test, and then they said we'll see where that goes. I'll be getting the test tomorrow. I beleive my parents are slowly accepting the real me instead of the mask I've had to wear for quite a while. Best of luck to you man!

Hey, I think that you're pretty lucky in how your mum reacted. My parents won't even talk about anything trans related. They just pretend nothing is wrong at all, yet they get really angry when they hear someone call me Konnor. Needless to say, they are very against any sort of transition. My best advice is to just come to a happy medium till you move out. Get to a point where they can tolerate it and you can tolerate it. For my family, me binding/dressing/acting like I want but still being called my girl name/female pronouns is our happy medium. Sometimes you just have to stand it until you can get out. I think you might be surprised by your mum though. Her reaction sounds pretty good to me, if this is the first time she has heard anything about your being trans. Just give her some time and communicate. Good luck mate!

I agree with Konman, your mum sounds as if she handled it pretty well Im still a teen and live at home with my parents too. Unfortunately Ive got a few more years before I can be legal and think for myself...


When I first came out to my mum and dad, they had a short chat with me and left it at that. They never bring it up, never ever  I had to fake sick to stay home alone one day. During that day I rode my bike down to the hairdresser. It was a much further ride than I thought! I got my hair cut, came back home...and arrived just before my grandma unexpectedly happened to turn up with lunch. When my parents eventually came home, they were so angry  They said things that upset me, blamed the internet, and didnt wanna believe it. I was reminded day after day for weeks on end about "how I had lost all their trust". 

When they got over that "huge" incident, I asked them for a binder. I explained what it did, and my dad straight out said NO. He went on to add to that, saying "You have a good body! You dont want to hide it with things that will ruin the way you will grow"  I eventually bought a binder without my parents ever finding out. As for the packer, I never asked for that one! I managed to buy one with some help from an awesome dude from this very site, and again my mum and dad knew nothing

At home, my parents call me by my birth name, and use female pronouns. Its much the same story when we go out and about...which is super embarrassing  Especially when I get called "he" by some lovely shop assistant for example, and my parents loudly "correct" them with a SHE/HER!   I have told my mum more than once, that I dont want to be called "she"...but the best answer she could give me then and there was "getting called she, is better than getting called it"

The only thing my mum and dad do for me towards trans regarding stuff, is pay for me to see a psychologist. And to think they actually tell him "how supportive they are of me, and how they want the best"

So, I use my psychologist to bring up such topics, especially testosterone...cause he is the only guy they seem to take seriously.

Well I came out when I was sixteen, I'm 21 now. Anyways, it didn't go so well with my parents. I was yelled at, told I was an idiot. They told me it was just a phase. I didn't mention it again until I was 18 and again the same thing happened. They got my auntie to come round to 'talk sense' into me. I still with my parents and coming out to them now was a little easier. They seemed to accept it, I'm not sure if it's to do with age or anything or that it wasn't just a phase like they thought. It's pretty easy to talk to mine about anything about being trans, even T. They came along to the support group I go to, which means a lot. They have told me they just want me to be happy and will support me no matter what.

I'm still living with my parents at sixteen and I came out to them a few months ago. Mom didn't take it well. She walked away without responding. It was only a few weeks later after I brought it up again that she talked to me. She was horribly emotional, choking up and wiping away tears, while I just sat there stone-faced, playing with the dog so I didn't have to look at her. Dad laughed when he heard about it saying that I just needed to "find myself" to be happy, and he never said anything about it after that day. He ignores it completely, 100%. There was no other talk. I'm usually close with him but after he blatantly chose to ignore this part of me I've grown distant.

The subject is now taboo in this house. We don't talk about it. Dad takes me shopping in the men's section in silence. Mom won't go to the store with me. They have both realized I'm binding and bought a binder without telling them. Neither of them says a word. We no longer talk about gays, or lesbians, or transsexual people. They use my birth name and the incorrect pronouns and pretend to be confused when I get angry for my mom calling me her daughter.

We haven't been able to find a 'happy medium' and I've been hurting myself because of it.

I'm just glad your mom seems to be taking it well--or a lot better than other mothers have.

I'm fifteen and came out to my mum about two months ago, she's pretty cool about it, accepts it for the most part. She helped me get a binder and I just made a packer with the help of Djknowsdicks.

She uses my birth name and female pronouns though and she says it's because she doesn't want my younger siblings to like, cop it or something.

Sometimes she comes out with things like "Could you wear something else?" or "I'm not doing anything with you untill you take your binder off," but we do talk and she's paying for me to see a phyc and listened when I told her I wanted the phyc to put me on the path for T/hormone blockers. So I guess she's about 50% "accepting".

Eh well I got really depressed after a while after I figured out I was trans. It sort of built up over time, but I got pretty bad after a year or so. Circumstances urged me to tell my SO, and then my father because he saw me. My father didn't understand, but was cool about it. The thing we were worried about was my mom but she was suprisingly okay with it. Of course, she brings her ignorant comments every once in a while or says things that are insulting but it's not too bad. Only irritating part is that she refuses to listen to facts/reason.

But I got pretty lucky with my parents you know, YMMV. You just tell them and hope for the best, try to get a therapist, let the therapist know you wish to physically transition as well.

I'm in high school too, under legal driving age. My mum isn't totally accepting, but she's not a bit*h about it.

She knows I bind, and she knows that sooner or later i will transition, but thats about it. Our conversations are very limited on the topic of my trans-ness. She doesn't really want to hear anything I believe, or dream of, and I'm too much of a wimp to bring up the topic. She doesn't want me to change my name, and she doesn't beleive someone as "young" as me would know who i am. She says she's asked her gay friend (Yah mom, GAY and TRANS are soooooo similar *sarcasm*) and they say its rare for someone to know as young as i am. She got me a therapist, but not the type I need/want.

I'm gunna just go with the flow till i hit 17, then I'm OUTTTAHERE!
I plan to cut off all ties with her. I don't want to disappoint her any more.