Quote from: fries on October 02, 2010, 09:41:08 PM
I have tried to come out to her a couple times, but she usually cuts me off before I get the chance to really say it. I have a feeling she probably knows but doesn't want to accept it.

This seems so prevalent among parents that it's scary. They have this image of you that they don't want to let go of. Sounds like I was way off.

Other than sitting her down and demanding that she listen, I don't know that there's anything you can do about coming out to her at this point. Some people write a letter or even send an e-mail. Some write the letter and insist that the parent listen them read it out loud. Regardless of your method, I wouldn't be surprised if she just went on throwing up roadblocks. People will do whatever they feel they have to do to protect themselves from anything they find threatening. It never ceases to amaze me that so many people--and not just parents--bury their heads in the sand to such an extent that they actually lose the one thing they were trying so hard not to lose.

I hope it doesn't come to that. Hang in there, Fries, and keep trying. Good luck with the job hunt, too.

Wish I had more helpful things to say but I understand your pain. I wish parents weren't like that. I live with my mom and I'm out to her as of 6 months ago. At first she did the why can't you be gay thing but then it became her telling me that it was like her losing a daughter. When I explained to her that she was gaining a son she told me it was literally like her daughter dying. Good luck with the job hunt man. Things will eventually get better somehow even if it seems impossible for them to.

Quote from: Arch on October 03, 2010, 02:14:03 AMIt never ceases to amaze me that so many people--and not just parents--bury their heads in the sand to such an extent that they actually lose the one thing they were trying so hard not to lose.

This.

Even if she does listen, she may totally ignore what you say. I came out to my mother recently, and she told my siblings that she didn't care at all. I'm also told that she refuses to use male specific pronouns when speaking of me. I almost never speak to her, but it's b nice if she could brag about me as a guy.
It makes it much better that I don't live with her, but still, not having a parent that will accept you is hard.

Quote from: utouto on October 03, 2010, 05:38:51 PM
Even if she does listen, she may totally ignore what you say. I came out to my mother recently, and she told my siblings that she didn't care at all. I'm also told that she refuses to use male specific pronouns when speaking of me. I almost never speak to her, but it's b nice if she could brag about me as a guy.
It makes it much better that I don't live with her, but still, not having a parent that will accept you is hard.

I'm pretty sure that's what's going to happen when I finally come out to my mom. It sucks, but I can't stay in this body forever just to please her.

Quote from: fries on October 04, 2010, 12:49:40 AM
I'm pretty sure that's what's going to happen when I finally come out to my mom. It sucks, but I can't stay in this body forever just to please her.

Amen to that. If you know who you are and what you need to do, then don't let her hold you back. Be kind, be flexible when you can, be obdurate when it matters. And she might surprise you. Pleasantly.

FWIW, I know how much people value their parents even when the parents are behaving badly and being unaccepting. So I hope that she makes some progress, for both your sakes.