I know it is a long shot but after moving out to this... backward town in western Oklahoma just to have a roof over my head.  Kinda short on the friends list, lost my sister who had started to guide me, etc.  So... kinda thinking I might look at a support group but do they even exist in this bible belt state?

I mean I really do not have high hopes as last time I was out here like ten years it was a pretty anal state.  I know people who moved once coming out just on being gay to not be in this state because of how they were treated.  Still curious if there are groups around here though.

Well I found one online that I did not really want to mention.  It is a get this renaissance transgender theme thing.  Not sure how it works just know it had a fee to be a part of it as well.  Whole thing was just.... odd.  I didn't read further into it than that.  So is it safe to assume this state is just as lame when I left it the first time and it has nothing?

Well....we left 5 years ago and moved to MN -- best thing for the family!  It was here that my son felt confident enough to start transitioning to male.  It is where I have finally found the courage to start transitioning to male as well.

That being said ... I do know of a youth group out of OKC - YGLA - it's for like 16-26year olds approximately.  I know the folks that work there and they rock.  It's with Red Rock Health.  I know Tulsa has some groups as well.

As lame as it is...it did give transgenders & LG folks some rights.  It was where a police officer transitioned to female and they fired her ... only to have to re-instate her.  I also had some friends who moved from NJ - that it was two women who were on both their daughters birth certificate and Oklahoma refused to recognize it only to have them slammed down!

However, politics are always fun to watch ... it's amazing the ignorant things politicians say.

Sorry you have to do some time there.

Hi Korlee,
.
I've never stepped foot in OK (I'm a bit north of you in WI), so these are just what I found via searching the internet:
.
http://www.twofoldgroup.org/meetings/default.html
(They appear pretty cautious with new people, but considering what little I've heard about OK, that's probably a good thing)
.
I did find the COTA one you reference above.  It does sound a little odd.
http://www.ren.org/rafil/cota/c_o_t_a.htm
At first I thought it was geared toward CDers...but on their resource page they list endocrinologists, electrologists, etc...so I'm not sure.  You might have to contact them and ask for clarification about what  their organization goals are.
.
Not sure what they might have, but there's some contact info for a GLBT center in Tulsa at the bottom of this page:  http://www.okeq.org/
.
A general page with listings for OK:
http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Support_groups_in_the_West_South_Central_States
.
This one has a listing of LGBT friendly places, but I don't see any new support groups:
http://www.gayokc.com/directory.htm
.
Mostly geared toward youth, but here's another page with possible resources:
http://www.okcyu.org/resources.html
.
http://gaylife.about.com/od/informationresources/a/oklahomacc.htm
I noticed on the www.gayokc site above that there used to be a transgender group at the
GLBT center on 2135 NW 39th Street in Oklahoma City. (they listed it in 2002, so quite a while ago)
You could call them and see if they currently have a group at the center.
.
That's about all I could find.  Not a whole lot, but hopefully it helps some.
Good luck!
.
Kay

Rob,  That is kinda interesting and I do fit for that one group for at least a year anyways since I am 26.  hehe  Thanks for the post.

Kay, thanks for all the links on the resources.  It makes me wonder if any of that was really active when I was here as a teenager.  Somehow I think not but that is likely my dislike of the state. (I love the wave and thank you mentality actually.  Hate the rest of it though.)  I shall try to look into at least one and get the courage to go but probably in casual clothes.

Oh.. and currently I am located in a small podunk town called Burns Flat...  Ya, I didn't want to come but it was that or live on the streets.  The east coast just wasn't kind to me on the job front... especially not with the longer hair and such.  I suppose it is my own fault for lousy planning... still jobless here... but meh!  So I think the Tulsa stuff is a little out of the way... Probably the OKC stuff is what I'd consider because that is like an hour drive for me and gives me time to listen to my music.  I sing to it for practice... <.<

Oh.. and one more little thing.. What should I really expect?  I've peaked in on support stuff and public speaking but kinda ignored it to be honest.  The general public bothers me in a great many ways even if they are the same as me.  I hate being put on the spot or being made to speak.  I get kinda pissy or angry if made to do so.  I won't be asked for that will I?  I'd just like to go and learn if anything.

Quote from: Korlee on September 26, 2010, 11:35:36 AM
Oh.. and one more little thing.. What should I really expect?  I've peaked in on support stuff and public speaking but kinda ignored it to be honest.  The general public bothers me in a great many ways even if they are the same as me.  I hate being put on the spot or being made to speak.  I get kinda pissy or angry if made to do so.  I won't be asked for that will I?  I'd just like to go and learn if anything.

.
There is really a wide variety of what to expect in these groups depending on many things:
.
In very small groups, people will look to everyone to speak more, simply due to numbers.
In larger groups, you may have trouble getting a word in edgewise if you're the quiet sort. 
.
With a good group leader, they'll at least make the rounds so everyone gets a chance to introduce themself...and then give everyone a chance to speak if they want to during the meeting.  (You won't be forced to speak, but the opportunity is always nice if you want to)
A poor group leader doesn't really go around the room, and may let one or two people hog the floor for the entire evening rather than directing conversation as they should.
.
Composition of the group will matter too.  Younger transitioners vs. older.  CD vs. TS.  M2F vs F2M.  Attitudes, subject matter, tone...a lot of things change depending on specific qualitites of the people that make up the group.
.
The first group I went to, I absolutely hated.  Large group, poor leader, 99% older M2Fs, many of whom saw it as an open forum to bitch about everything under the sun, or ask a question of the group...but then weren't willing to accept that anyone else could have an opinion on the subject different from theirs.  Bleh. 
.
The group I'm at now is a lot smaller, very mixed age groups, as many F2Ms as M2Fs.  I like it a lot better, and go pretty regularly.  Hopefully your first group will be a good one.  If not, try another one (It sounds like there are at least 2-3 in OK City from those links).  Everyone has their own likes and dislikes.  I hope you find one that suits you.   

I very much so am happy about the help Kay.  It was probably a waste of your time though...  I convince myself to go but once I have the real option...  I just can't...  I want to go but just...  so many bad things I've heard about support groups 'n' speaking, etc.

I'm a jobless loser that has barely made progress.  I just can't.  Sorry, for wasting your time.

Don't be so down on yourself Korlee.  Everyone goes through rough patches.
.
When I started out, I can't tell you how many times I tried to get myself to go
to a group, or out to a store.  Only to get all the way there and chicken out...
drive around for an hour and still be unable to find the courage to go in.  Heck...
sometimes I didn't even make it out of the house.  It can take some time to
build that first little bit of courage when you're doing something new.
.
For a support group, I'd suggest just going in male mode at first.  See how safe you feel,
how comfortable you feel with the people who come...get your toes wet in the
shallow end of the pool.  Once you feel safe and comfortable somewhere, you can
start to open up from there.
.
After trying the first trans-group that I didn't like much, I tried a different type of group.  There is an LGBT discussion group in my city too.   (mostly LG issues, but some very interesting discussion).  This was, gosh, only about 18 months ago.  This was after coming out of a horrible 7 year marriage, and then being a hermit for 2 years.  I went to the group a few times...but never said one word.  A discussion group...and not one single word.  I just couldn't get myself to do it.  The people were nice.  The topics were interesting.  I felt safe enough...but I just couldn't get my mouth to move.  I know what it's like to be terrified to speak in front of people.  It can be very debilitating.  They never pushed me to speak, or did anything to make me uncomfortable at all.  I eventually left the group because I was afraid of making other people uncomfortable due to my absolute silence. 
.
After that, I went to a different trans group, which I've been going to for 10 months now. 
In that time, I've seen people come in that were starting from the absolute beginning, and now are out to everyone (work/family) and are well past where I'm at.  Everyone travels at their own pace.

Personally, I travel at a snail's pace compared to most of the people in my group.
I feel a bit self-conscious about that at times, and it does often seem that I
barely make any progress....but over time all those little bits add up.  I'll finish the
race eventually...but it will be on my own terms and in my own time (slow and
overly cautious as that may seem to others).
.
I'm wondering what sort of bad things you've heard about support groups? 
Some are better than others certainly, but I haven't heard of anything so horrible
that they're not worth at least a look.  Worst case scenerio is that you've used
an evening to find out that a particular group isn't for you.  Best case scenario,
you find somewhere you like going. 
.
Have patience with yourself, and give yourself time.  If you change your mind in the future, at least you have some options available. 

Ya, but when no matter which road you take you always end up on a rough patch that is more jagged then the last...  I've failed at this point in every way.

Just everything really about them.  I have heard about the drama queens that try to always make the floor theirs, the so called getting in touch with yourself or others bit, being made to speak when you have no desire, groups being very one sided, events are always something like a gay pride parades you know never small stuff, watching others zip by, the judgement that people pass on you that always comes, people assume they know what is getting to you your problem or whatever and refuse to listen to the real point.

It's just a bad idea and I am sorry I wasted your time.

Well, it's up to you Korlee.  Everyone has a different path to take.  Support groups may not be your style.
.
Though I will say that I think you're painting all support groups with a rather broad brush.
Not all of them are like that.  Certainly, there are some poor groups out there that may
be, but not all of them.  And if you find a bad group...just like if you find a pair of pants that don't fit at the store...you don't have to go back to try it on again if you don't want. 
.
I just started moderating the group I've been going to, and had a small get-together of pizza and cards at my place for some of the members.  I'm not one for big events, so I leave the hoopla to the yearly pride fest.  Typically from what I've seen, aside from the activist rallies and parades that you don't have to go to, any normal events are rather low key. 
.
So no worries.  Even if it wasn't helpful, at least I learned something about OK and about other people's preferrences. 
.
Good Luck with whatever path you choose to go with.
.
Kay

the group my kids belonged to in OKC was good for them.  It was a place where they could come together and hang out and be themselves.  There was some education on politicians, some education on resources, some safe sex stuff ... but for the most part it was a chance to talk about problems & issues they face at school & work.  It was  a place where they helped each other come up with solutions.

Weeee... interview for a group on Wednesday evening....  Excited I suppose? .-.

Is it with Red Rock?  My kids went to a group in OKC at Red Rock --- congrats on making a step in a positive direction!

Congrats Korlee! 
I hope you find a group that fits your style.

Even if you're not big on the group itself, stay late
and get to know some of the people.
Personally, I've found that the best part of groups...
are the friends you can make and do things with
outside of the group. 

Well the interview went really well I think.  They were very pleasant, concerned, nice, and I learned a little.  It actually kinda helped one of them was a little straight forward.  Thanks to them I will probably have a therapist, legal scripts, I know of a good spot close for the beard removal, a better way to do college along with, and will likely have a source from other members on a great many topics.  All in all it was great.  I can't wait for the first meeting now a little to be honest.

Also on a side note my dad was happy about it as well.  Cept he seemed a little sad and when questioned.  I made the comment I will be the same person dad and we will still do all the same things together.  He then replied.  "No, Korlee will be doing those things.  Not Troy."  This made me sad and I did cry a little.  I had not really thought to much about his end of the deal and my friend Bailey did mention he might lack someone to speak with on it.  I think I might try to direct him here to the forum section for family members so he has something?

Glad to hear it's going well Korlee. 

It sounds like a good idea to find your father someone to talk to.
Susan's is a great start, and I also know some groups have off-shoot
groups for SO's and family members too.  At your first meeting,
you could ask the other members about it to see if they know
of something that is available around your area.

Update for Kay!  Well the group will also let important others in on a talk over time.  That is for another time though.  It was quite nice to hear about others issues and talk about my own a little in the open.  They gave me a card for that therapist and apparently many of them in Oklahoma have used her.  Some makeup learning sample kits, hairbands, mirror, clips.  So ya, the night was pretty nifty. 

The next day the stuff Bailey finally got me to order arrived well today that is and I dunno.  The harness does not seem as bad as many peeps make it out to be.

Sounds like things are moving along nicely for you now. 
Glad to hear everything is going so well.
Best of Luck!
.
Kay