Before coming out to yourself as trans, did you tend to deny or minimize the differences between the sexes or between yourself and the 'opposite' sex?

I absolutely still do! 

With such a TINY difference it was uber annoying to feel so strongly that I was on the wrong side of what from my POV was a virtually non existent gap!  It made no sense that it was so important - but it was!

I think there are a lot of difference, and these difference is what makes it so obvious that somebody doesn't quite have the right body for who they really are.

I can understand some need to blur the line in order to blend to one side from the other. Maybe some of us don't care about that and just go with the flow and hope the flow contains the destination.

Yes. Bigtime. Anyone anyone made any observation about sex differences, I would argue like the most obnoxiously militant feminist.

Quote from: kyril on October 08, 2010, 04:03:49 PM
Yes. Bigtime. Anyone anyone made any observation about sex differences, I would argue like the most obnoxiously militant feminist.

Same here.  I probably still would, I just haven't been faced with that situation recently.

I was always VERY interested in what differences there were.  I knew the obvious anatomical diffrences, and I was aware of the cultural differences, but I wanted to know what other differences there are.  (For instance, in general males are better at pinpointing the source of a sound than females are.)  Most of the differences are just a matter of degree, with a great deal of overlap, but there are differences on average.  (You can find men with broader hips than some women, etc.  I'm talking in general.)

I guess I've been fascinated by what makes a man and what makes a woman since discovering at age 4 that I was something else.

- Kate

No, not really...the opposite, in fact.

Before accepting myself as trans, I tried my best to ignore the obvious physical differences because that's what bothered me most. Even so, I always paid very close attention to social/cultural differences. I still do.

Quote from: Nero on October 08, 2010, 03:16:59 PMBefore coming out to yourself as trans, did you tend to deny or minimize the differences between the sexes or between yourself and the 'opposite' sex?

Yes, yes, yes.

OMG yes!
The only diferance I would admit was plumbing and strength. I was very adamant there was no diferance in the sexs and any diferances were of minor consequence.

Now as my transition moves along I see how completely wrong I was.

The opposite I think.  I believed a lot of stereotypes when I was a child.

Yes, absolutely!

I had no idea why there was such a big deal and why I had to play with the boys and not the girls. Even though I understand why people do this now, I still think that people "make a difference out of difference" way too much.

Yes, very much. I'm still not especially convinced of a gender binary.

I certainly believed there were differences, but was absolutely sure of equality, even as a teenager. 

When I read Greer's 'The Female Eunuch' at 18, my reaction was along the lines of, "yeah, ok....just wasted a few hours reading things I already believed."

I always believed that the was only 3% difference between the sexes.  Having been on both sides now, I see that there are major differences.

When living as F I didn't think there was still so much discrimination against women in this enlightened age; being F I didn't see it that much.  But now as M it's blatantly obvious, in TV shows even with competent intelligent accomplished characters, they are still 'less than.'  It annoys me more now.

OTOH I sometimes feel like an a$$hole for enjoying male privilege I was denied my whole life.  And I also see that yes, women sometimes actually DO act like the stereotypes (men, too!) which annoys me.    Then I feel like a misogynistic a$$hole.


Jay

I "did" and still "do". I wouldn't call it denial- we're more alike than different and pretending otherwise just makes it a lot harder on everybody.

Yes and No,..

See, a LOT of the expressed differences are stereotype-bullsh. that does not conform to reality.
I take one look around my own family alone and I find both men and women that possess traits that are "stereotypically" stated to belong to the other gender.

I find the stereotype b.s. to be.. well.. b.s.

I haven't ever really given this question that much thought, but I do know that all my life (aside from several decades where I was ignoring the whole issue) I have felt "wrong" as a male, and that I should be a female, and I think there HAS to be some basis for that.  If the differences are only minor, or largely non-existent, why does it bother us so much to be the wrong gender? 

Quote from: SummerfallI'm still not especially convinced of a gender binary.

I've come to think of it as a gender continuum.  Not binary.  And I definitely fall more on the female side (inside, where it counts) than on the male side.  Which is why I wish to modify my body.  My therapist also sees it that way - as a continuum, and sometimes it's tricky to figure out where on the continuum you "fit"...

I think attitudes and preconceptions among transitioners have changed a lot over the past 20 years.  Shortly after I joined a TG support group at the start of transition and began transitioning, I soon came to grips with just how warped my ideas about gender had become as a result of having grown up in such a highly gender segregated society, and being constantly bombarded with two-dimensional, cardboard images of the gender extremes to which men and women were supposed to aspire.  Then I made a comment at one the support group meetings about how the similarities beteeen men and women far outweighed the differences, and everyone looked horrified and exclaimed that men and women are completely different, in every conceivable way.  It was the complete opposite of what seems to be the consensus here.