I'm either jealous of their body, or they hit on me.

I've always thought I was bisexual, but I'm pretty sure I'm just straight right now. I mean, guys are physically attractive and I can talk with my female friends about how hot some guy at the mall was, but I don't have any desire to have sex with a guy. I'm probably just straight. I like girls too much. 

Anyway. If I hang out with my cisguy friends, I get really jealous of their body. Like, I always compare mine to theirs and I get really uncomfortable. OR it's a guy I've just met and they see me as a girl and they think I'm pretty or something so they start hitting on me and I'm all, " Plz stop."

Also, the other day, my gay cisguy friend was talking about transguys specifically because he knows a completely out transman (who is two years older than me but moved so I never got a chance to talk to him  I'm so upset) and he was complaining, saying things like, "Why would a woman cut her t*ts off? She was such a pretty lesbian!"
I was all, " I should say something."
That was pretty unrelated to this topic, but that pissed me off when he was saying that stuff about him so I had to type that too.

"Why would a woman cut her t*ts off? She was such a pretty lesbian!"

Yeah this is pretty much just ignorance in action right here.

I've wanted to try making some guy friends.  I thought I was doing pretty good with this one guy I was hanging out with...till he started flirting with me and rubbing on my arm.  Fail. 

I have the being jealous issue too.

So many times I have tried to be just "one of the guys" and then realised, ohwait, they're trying to get into my pants 


"Why would a woman cut her t*ts off? She was such a pretty lesbian!"

These kind of statements drive me nuts. I get it all the time "but you're so pretty why would you want to be a man?" - first of all I don't want to be a man, I just am one, learn the difference. Second of all, how "pretty" I am has nothing to do with it. It's like, so, if I was an ugly girl then "wanting to be a man" would be acceptable? I don't get it.

I guess I lucked out not being at all pretty as a "girl". I'm a much prettier dude 

the statement in the original post made my blood boil. I used to get paranoid and very hermit like around cisdudes...then I started working where I do now, as a line cook, where 99% of the kitchen staff is male. I got over it real fast...plus I'd been on t for 4 months and passed all the time by the time I got hired at work, plus I'm stealth. So I learned real fast to just be around other dudes...not think about it too much. They all know I'm gay, and they don't care. They don't know I'mt rans, and I'd rather keep it that way. If they did find out...idk what I'd do.

I am sorry Devy, but I can't help you much with this. If your male friends saw you as female they would probably make it clear to you.
All men are different. Some take care of their body more than others. Apparently you feel the need to be in good shape and you show this by comparing yours to others. It is not that strange to do so.

Quote from: Jeatyn on October 08, 2010, 06:07:35 AM
"Why would a woman cut her t*ts off? She was such a pretty lesbian!"

These kind of statements drive me nuts. I get it all the time "but you're so pretty why would you want to be a man?"

Don't you think people say this because they simply do not understand? Their words hurt, but sometimes you just can't blame a person for not knowing something he has never been in touch with. I think the point is they assume you want to be a man instead of them knowing you are a man.
Then again it is out of my place to talk here because I never experienced what you feel.

Quote
"Why would a woman cut her t*ts off? She was such a pretty lesbian!"

These kind of statements drive me nuts. I get it all the time "but you're so pretty why would you want to be a man?"

Don't you think people say this because they simply do not understand? Their words hurt, but sometimes you just can't blame a person for not knowing something he has never been in touch with. I think the point is they assume you want to be a man instead of them knowing you are a man.
Then again it is out of my place to talk here because I never experienced what you feel.

Before I realized I was trans and did not fully understand what being trans meant, I was guilty of saying similar things.  I'd heard a story of a transwoman who had transitioned to be a woman with a woman (ie she was lesbian) but at the time I was thinking when she was a man she could be with a woman, so why would he want to become a woman to be with a woman? 

I'd never heard of trans guys or I might have figured out I was trans sooner.  It's just misinformation and ignorance.  I'm glad to say I'm edumacated now.   


Jay (was a girl dating guys who became a guy to be with guys!)

Hm. Funny. I've managed to make friends with guys who aren't trying to get in my pants and/or respect me as male.

There's some people who piss me off and are trying to get in my pants, but I avoid them. Anyway ->-bleeped-<-s aren't the rule (no, really) so it's not too bad.

Jealosy thing thought. -.-
I find myself stairing at guys chests not out of attraction but envy.

Quote from: insanitylives on October 08, 2010, 04:57:10 PM
Jealosy thing thought. -.-
I find myself stairing at guys chests not out of attraction but envy.

That feeling was the reason I thought I was attracted to guys before I realized I'm also trans. I've always stared, wanting what they had. Not in a sexual way, but in an envious way. Like, I wanted my body to look like that, but I didn't understand why, so I thought, "This must mean that I'm attracted to guys."

Quote from: Devyn on October 08, 2010, 06:10:08 PMI've always stared, wanting what they had. Not in a sexual way, but in an envious way. Like, I wanted my body to look like that, but I didn't understand why...

Guilty.

Because I'm gay I have this weird attraction/jealousy cycle going on in my head all the time. I see a hot guy and I'm like, oh damn he's hot, damn I'm jealous of his body, but damn he's hot, but damn I wish I had what he has.......ahhhhhhhh, it never ends. Sometimes I wish I wasn't gay.

Not something you guys go through exclusively.
I look at hot GG's and I am jealous of the way they look and I want to be with them at the same time. Quite a unique feeling. Not a healthy state of mind I would wager.

Just something we need to recognise and work on.

Quote from: Shayne on October 08, 2010, 08:58:15 PM
Because I'm gay I have this weird attraction/jealousy cycle going on in my head all the time. I see a hot guy and I'm like, oh damn he's hot, damn I'm jealous of his body, but damn he's hot, but damn I wish I had what he has.......ahhhhhhhh, it never ends. Sometimes I wish I wasn't gay.

heh, that indeed sucks. i once tried to explain to a friend why i was so utterly frustrated, while we were out having fun. i was kinda drunk and kinda pseudo-philosophical and must have told her something like "see that guy over there? thing is,  i think "dude, he's hawt, i'd like to, well, you know" but then i think "wait, i wanna be like him" which results in "waaaaait, i wanna be like him. but i also want to screw him? that'd be awkward, huh?"
i think she just stared at me for a good minute before bursting out in laughter -.- well, i wanted to punch her, but i understand that it is quite funny in a way >.<

I never really get jealous, I've got what I've got; but the "attempting to [word omitted by censor] me" thing is still a serious problem even though I'm married. I'm starting to get in good with some guys who I'm pretty sure don't want to [word omitted by censor] me, so have hope- it gets better once you're out of high-school.

I've been out of highschool for a good 5 years and it's been getting worse D=

I have to agree about not liking being around cisguys at times. 
I'm fairly manly [at least everyone is shocked to discover I was born a girl] but even now, without fail, when I'm hanging out with my male friends or just males in general my mind always wanders to how jealous I am of how they were born, and how much I loath that which is still undeniably physically female about me.

Not going to lie it usually leads to a desire to kick them really hard in the balls.... usually repeatedly.   

Quote from: Jeatyn on October 09, 2010, 11:52:15 AM
I've been out of highschool for a good 5 years and it's been getting worse D=

I've been out of high school for 9 years and it hasn't gotten better either haha. I just think I will always be jealous of cisguys unfortunately.

I wonder if cis gay guys unhappy with their looks and body go through the same thing. Do they not have these thoughts at all, do they think it's a compliment to the other guy, do they have these thoughts but consider them background noise?

Quote from: STRM on October 10, 2010, 09:55:50 AM
I wonder if cis gay guys unhappy with their looks and body go through the same thing. Do they not have these thoughts at all, do they think it's a compliment to the other guy, do they have these thoughts but consider them background noise?

Men don't look at men. Period.

If you think someone is watching you, then it's probably paranoia. Men tend to know how to exploit this paranoia. It's obvious.