Okay.  I'm going to try to make as much sense as I can. 

I know who I am.  I know that I am a guy.  I know that I can't continue to live as a female or in this body.  I know that I want to take T, and am really close to getting it.  My therapist is going to write the letter for me early next week, and I will get it by the end of next week.  When she told me this, I was super excited.  Nervous, cause it is a bit quicker than I had been expecting, but excited nonetheless.  But anyway.  I have been coming out to people a lot recently.  My mom, best friend from home, godmother, and friends here at college.  When I talk to my mom, friend from home, and my godmother, I have no doubt that this is who I am and what I need to do.  But with my friends out here...they make me question it.  There are some who while they don't agree with it, they love me and accept me regardless.  Others have said that they love me, but haven't told me what they think.  Then there are others who have not said anything at all to me.  It really sucks.  I don't want to lose these friends.  And because of that, I keep questioning myself.  I start thinking, could I live in this body?  Could I continue to live as female?  But I know I can't.  I just hate knowing that by doing this, I am either losing friends, or the friends I'm keeping are going to be different.  And they don't really accept me.  I think it's kinda like they won't consider me a "he" until I get surgery or something.  So that really sucks. 

I'm not entirely sure what the point of this is.  I just needed to talk to someone about this, and see if anyone has felt like this or does feel like this.  I don't know if it is any worse right now cause it is that dreaded time of the month.  That always really messes with my mind.  Any thoughts or advice?

Don't sacrifice your true self because you're afraid of losing the people that love you. If they really love you, they will be happy for you and accept that being who you are makes you happy.

I'm sorry you're going through this, transition can be scary and confusing even when you know you are doing the right thing. 

I can only offer you a simple piece of advice to think about, true friends accept you for who you are. 

Thanks guys.  I appreciate that.  I was just having a hard time.  But I'm doing better now.  I can't pretend to be someone I'm not just to make others happy.  I have to be true to who I am.  And whoever sticks by me, I will know they are true friends.  I think I just needed that reminder.  Thanks for the support

This can be tricky. In my opinion, the friends who desert you are not worth having. If they come around eventually, that's different.

The ones who stick around are tougher. Some of them won't take you seriously. They might consistently forget the right name or pronoun. They might not treat you with full respect. Then you have to decide how much you are willing to put up with, and stick by your decision. If you cut them off and start to miss them, remind yourself how bad they made you feel when they didn't take you seriously.

You do have to allow them a period of adjustment, maybe even mourning. But there is a big difference between a well-meaning person who slips up occasionally and someone who just can't be bothered to remember the right name/pronoun. Whenever possible, give them time, be kind but firm, and educate them if they'll let you. But don't let them walk all over you.

BTW, if you go to support groups, you might make some fab new friends.