Quote from: Megan on October 13, 2010, 03:18:26 PM
Yeah... yeah, pretty much... I believe I am a lady inside a guy...
If I wasn't then I wouldn't be taking spiro, or be on this forum, or looking at women and wishing to be them.
How do I even deal with such a thing... that's why I never thought I needed a counselor since I knew what is in my head. A counselor wasn't going to point me into a different direction.
How am I going to get the money to do the surgeries to pass, the hormones, the nine yards, affording college ( i have to go)...
There isn't an easy answer any more than there is a correct one.
I know who I am inside, but outside, I'm just a rather masculine woman. I have always developed my personality and my relationship wth others from where I am inside.
I've always taken care of the skin on my face. I don't shave it with soap because I don't want it to turn to leather. Since I was about 23, I've rarely cut it right back, instead, keeping it as short as I can, initially with sissors, but later with an electric hair trimmer. This has also meant that I'm generally sheltered from the sun. I never tan, so this is particularly important for someone like me. One day I can take this stuff off for good and I know what will be left will be soft, clear. (I occasionally use a foil shaver to cut it right back on small areas. Beleive me, the feeling of the skin, until the stubble grows back, is a confidence booster).
That's a small part of my approach. You've already gone several miles ahead of me with Spiro and such.
Others might try to develop alternate lives, outside their work. Building their wardrobe, experimenting with their appearance.
Many have simply taken the bull by the horns, said to themselves, this is my life, I'm gonna live my way. They stand up for themselves and take their place in the world.
It's a matter of assessing your own life, your own expectations and how you can personally handle those around you.
I really think you should remember this last point. You have to do what you are capable of. It isn't about the physical, every woman that's ever lived has struggled with her appearance.
It's about you, inside. What you can manage. How much you can deal with.
I reject claims that I, for example, am a coward. (I am, but in this context, no). I have done and do, what I'm capable of. As do most others. My personal admiration for those who have done more to be themselves is beyond measure. My support for them is unconditional. But equally, we must each take each step as we feel confident.
Hope this makes sense.
