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Do some of you still (or used to) do this?

Started by Robert F., October 12, 2010, 11:25:45 PM

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Liam K

In the first couple of weeks after coming out, I had to constantly check my use of pronouns.  I don't think I ever actually messed up out loud, but if I was talking about myself in my head (don't ask), I would often mess up and use the wrong pronoun.  It stopped being an issue shortly thereafter, when more people began using the right pronouns and I was able to get used to it.
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rexgsd

no, but i dont think i ever really did that much to begin with. before i was out or anything if i did it'd just be something like 'im a cowboy! i mean....cowgirl -rolls eyes to self-"
☥fiat justitia ruat coelum☥

"Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls. Its a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world." - The Kinks

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ForWantOf

I do often refer to myself as female in my head, which kinda sucks. If I'm thinking about what someone would say about me in some kind of situation I'll think something along the lines of, "Oh, well she probably wouldn't like this."
Which sucks, because I've never not even once in my life seen myself as a girl yet I have these slip ups mentally. I guess I'm just used to hearing that so I say it naturally, but I'm stopping it since I've come out.  :)
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Robert Scott

I am definitely on the older side of this group....so I have had many years of referring to myself in public as she ... I guess in private too.   Always in my head I have been a guy...but years of conditioning as a female I still use it.  I am trying to refer to myself as a guy more and more when I talk with the folks I am out to ... I am getting better
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Alexmakenoise

I have never thought of myself as female (except for a brief phase during college, but that's another story).  In my thoughts, I have always used male pronouns for myself.  When talking to other people, I've always avoided using pronouns or gender-specific words.  Maybe people think it's just a quirk of mine.  Maybe people think I'm being ultra pc.  Who knows. 

Sometimes I slip up and use a male term to refer to myself among people I'm not out to.  It's a bit odd when I do this and they correct me.  But I just kind of laugh it off and try not to think about it too much.

So I guess I have the opposite problem as everyone else: I'm not out to many people but I accidentally use male pronouns for myself.
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Magnus

I avoid the female references in speaking of myself and I don't think I've slipped up yet. I however do feel really awkward when my family (those who I've "come out" too) use the "she", "her", "daughter", "granddaughter" etc. and my birth name too even pre-everything, but I let it slide because I know it's difficult for them. I avoid using my birth name wherever I can as well. Can't escape either during job interviews though... much to my discomfort and annoyance.

But, I have two furkids (feline) and my mom always refers to me to them as "your mamma"... I let that slide too. But wish she'd use "daddy" or something, 'cause that's how it is. But, I'm sure that will start happening with the male pronouns after I'm on T and clearly, visibly male.


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Kentrie

I'm to embarassed to refer to myself as "He" in front of my mom and I'm to shy to correct my friends. Today at lunch I put Ranch dressing on my pizza and my friend said "Do you feel like a whore putting all that white stuff on your pizza?" and I said "No, but I feel gay" (I hope I didn't offend anyone) and he said "Your still a whore" and I got kind of sad so I said "Yeah.....I guess"
Push it baby, push it baby, out of control, I got my gun cocked tight and I'm ready to blow. ;)
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GnomeKid

nah, I never really identified myself as female though.  Its something I've always somewhat openly rejected. 
I always referred to myself as a[n] "_adjective_ kid"  never "girl" 
I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

"Oh what a cute little girl, or boy if you grow up and feel thats whats inside you" - Liz Lemon

Happy to be queer!    ;)
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RaeLikesTea

I've been playing the pronoun game for a long long time. Gender talk is so hard to avoid.
I often find myself saying things about growing up to be a cat lady; "cat person" just doesn't have the same effect.
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SnailPace

Quote from: RaeLikesTea on October 14, 2010, 09:12:17 PM
I've been playing the pronoun game for a long long time. Gender talk is so hard to avoid.
I often find myself saying things about growing up to be a cat lady; "cat person" just doesn't have the same effect.
And saying "I'm going to grow up to be a Crazy Old Cat Man" kind of sounds like you're a superhero.
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Silver

Quote from: Magnus on October 14, 2010, 08:40:52 PM
But, I have two furkids (feline) and my mom always refers to me to them as "your mamma"... I let that slide too. But wish she'd use "daddy" or something, 'cause that's how it is. But, I'm sure that will start happening with the male pronouns after I'm on T and clearly, visibly male.

Oh yeah my mom always used to tell my I was my pet's "mommy" and I'd always argue so much about that. Not just because I am not female but also because I consider myself more of an "owner" than "parent." It irritated me so much :laugh: Still don't want to be called a "daddy" but I'd much prefer it to "mommy." Can't wait to pass consistently, then slipping up will make people more uncomfortable than it will make me.
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Teknoir

Nah, I've always been a something-guy, or something-person. Couldn't bring myself to ever refer to myself as anything female.

It's given people odd impressions before - I didn't realize I was doing it until it was pointed out that presenting female and announcing that you're the token Linux guy is bad in a professional context :laugh:.

Something "Person" became a habit I had to force as a compromise. It's a habit I've mostly broken again :laugh:.
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Eli

Quote from: littlemonster on October 13, 2010, 01:18:47 AM
When talking about my fat old cat, I call myself her mom.  I've done that since I got her when I was in fourth grade, and I think that's the only occasion on which I use female names for myself.  It's cool, since I'm her mothering, smothering, feed-you-love-you-overly-cuddle-you figure.   :P

This!

I am my fluffykins mama, but I'm getting into the habit of saying "papa", especially around family members.
Though to be honest, I just kind of play up the whole "mama" thing as being ridiculously campy joke.  ::)
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kyril

Quote from: Teknoir on October 15, 2010, 03:22:53 AM
Nah, I've always been a something-guy, or something-person. Couldn't bring myself to ever refer to myself as anything female.

It's given people odd impressions before - I didn't realize I was doing it until it was pointed out that presenting female and announcing that you're the token Linux guy is bad in a professional context :laugh:.

Something "Person" became a habit I had to force as a compromise. It's a habit I've mostly broken again :laugh:.
Yeah, I did this a lot...got some odd looks sometimes. I was the computer repair guy and the parts delivery boy in my Navy squadron. I think "city girl" is just a carryover from when I was forcing myself to think of myself as female. Only slipped out once, anyway.


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Shang

When I talk to my dog I still say "who's mommy's little <insert goofy name>?" and I'm not big on caring because I feel "maternal" and not paternal with my dog.  Around other people I don't really use pronouns or anything "feminine" in reference to me.
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Al James

I'm fairly good at remembering not to out myself with wrong pronouns but the other day me and my wife were out and there were cherry pancakes on the menu. So i proceeded to tell my wife that when i was pregnant with my son i really really craved cherry pancakes.
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Noah G.

Cherry pancakes?! :o

Uh...ahem...I've gotta try those some time.  :eusa_think:

Uhm...more on topic, though I've already posted. My folks also usually refer to me as my dog's parent when they're talking to her and the other night my dog came into the kitchen after I'd accidentally ripped a hole in the paint on the wall (we were trying to put up a new shelf and I didn't know how to work the adhesive things -- whoops!) and my ma kept telling her she was gonna kill me (joking, of course). At first she referred to me in the usual way, but then corrected herself and kept saying "I'm gonna kill your daddy, I'm gonna kill him." ;D I usually ignore when I'm called something I don't care for (namely as the main reason I don't care for them is the fact they don't suit me: I'm a guy), but it was nice that she corrected herself all the same. :)

Of course, my dog thought that maybe she was getting a treat so she didn't care that my ma was threatening my life; I joked that she was thinking, "So long as you feed me I don't care what you do!"
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